The government should encourage industries and business to move out of big cities and into regional areas.
Sample Response
Industries and businesses are mostly situated in city areas and problems associated with this bring up the idea of moving the industries and enterprises from the big cities to the countryside. I believe this action will be a good solution for some major problems. This step will offer far more benefits than the disadvantages it has. Moving big industries, factories and other offices to regional areas has few disadvantages like transportation scarcity, the cost of rebuilding and finding new employees but this shift will offer significant benefits both for the city and rural people.
Firstly, moving the industries from city to rural areas is a herculean task. Furthermore, the financial concern is also important. For instance, re-establishing business in a regional area needs more money, and time. In addition, transportation facility in rural areas will be another concern for many businesses. Again, most of the employees in a current factory will not move to the rural area and that would make it difficult to move a running factory to a regional area. Finally, industries will diminish the tranquillity in the rural area by polluting the environment and resulting extinction of flora and fauna in the village areas.
However, moving industries and other enterprises to the countryside from the cities will reduce the major problems like pollutions, traffic jams, housing problems and crimes in many cities. This will also create more job opportunities in the country sides. Moreover, the transportation facilities will improve in rural areas and city life will get relief from the choking traffic. In addition to this, the living standard of the rural areas will be upgraded with demanding educational and health services. Over population is a major concern for many cities and the decentralisation would be a great step to reducing the population ration in cities. Furthermore, in many cases, a country’s economic development relies on the development of the rural area and this step will ensure proper development of the rural area. Industries, factories and other big businesses are the main reasons many cities are polluted and the shift would ensure a healthy living place in city areas.
After considering both sides, moving the industries the to the countryside is a long-term task but it will ensure the equal distribution of population and facilities throughout the country. I hope this action will alleviate the perilous condition of city life as well as will help the rural area to develop faster.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise possession Original: the disadvantages it has Suggested revision: its disadvantages Why it matters: The possessive form expresses this relationship more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Use precise business term Original: big industries Suggested revision: large industrial firms Why it matters: This phrase refers more precisely to organisations than to industrial activity.
- 3. Clarify quantity and example Original: has few disadvantages like Suggested revision: has several disadvantages, such as Why it matters: The original means almost no disadvantages and uses an informal example marker.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: transportation scarcity Suggested revision: limited transport links Why it matters: This wording expresses inadequate transport provision more naturally.
- 5. Make categories parallel Original: city and rural people Suggested revision: urban and rural residents Why it matters: Parallel adjectives and a shared noun make the comparison grammatically balanced.
- 6. Match plural locations Original: city Suggested revision: cities Why it matters: The general comparison requires a plural noun on both sides.
- 7. Name the specific issue Original: concern Suggested revision: cost Why it matters: Cost is the precise concern developed in the following sentence.
- 8. Add missing article Original: re-establishing business Suggested revision: re-establishing a business Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs an article.
- 9. Fix verb and punctuation Original: needs more money, and time Suggested revision: requires more money and time Why it matters: The replacement uses a natural verb and removes the unnecessary comma between two objects.
- 10. Use plural facilities Original: transportation facility Suggested revision: transport facilities Why it matters: The general reference to infrastructure requires the plural form.
- 11. Use natural workplace phrase Original: in a current factory Suggested revision: at an existing factory Why it matters: Employees work at a factory, and existing conveys the intended meaning more naturally.
- 12. Use formal collocation Original: running Suggested revision: operating Why it matters: Operating is the conventional adjective for a factory that is already functioning.
Suggested Rewrites
- the disadvantages it has its disadvantages
- big industries large industrial firms
- has few disadvantages like has several disadvantages, such as
- transportation scarcity limited transport links
- city and rural people urban and rural residents
- city cities
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s clearest strength is its sustained position and substantial coverage of both the practical drawbacks and the wider benefits of relocation. Its main limitation is that several claims are generalized or repetitive, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer benefits with specific causal explanation and examples, then edit carefully for noun forms, articles, agreement, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear supportive position and addresses both disadvantages and benefits with several relevant explanations.
Develop fewer central benefits more deeply with specific examples instead of listing several broad outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two body sections, and a consistent conclusion.
Reduce repetitive listing and use cohesive devices more selectively to create smoother links within the longer benefit paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably wide vocabulary conveys the argument, but recurring word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as transportation scarcity and population ration with natural, context-appropriate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, although frequent errors with articles, agreement, word forms, and sentence construction remain noticeable.
Proofread each sentence for articles, plural forms, agreement, and complete verb patterns before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government should encourage industries and business to move out of big cities and into regional areas.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.