As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
People of the current generation admire living in a big city instead of living in small towns or villages. The government of such regions encourages businesses to transfer to countryside areas to resolve transport and housing. In my opinion, and it is more beneficial in several ways if companies move to rural areas.
The government encourages businesses to move to rural areas. If they move to the countryside people will also move there for jobs. There are several reasons why civilians prefer to live in the city but, their prime reason is the job. They live in the town so they can earn good money. If businesses are grown in cities population will also grow with it. Because of growth in the population of cities, that city will start facing several problems like pollution, traffic, inflation, epidemic. But the main problem for the town will be transportation and accommodation for their citizens. To create sufficient accommodation for the civilian government, we have to start making homes by replacing jungles and gardens. This creates lots of trouble in the environment too. So, if businesses will not move to rural areas, it will create problems for the government, civilians, and the environment.
There are few disadvantages if the business will move to rural areas. Firstly, when they move to the new area, they are not sure that their current staff who is working in will move to rural areas as they can find something else to earn. Secondly, businesses will have a lot of costs to build their project again, so there are chances that companies will not make a profit sometimes. Finally, business there can be less accommodation, so the government has to build houses before the business starts there, and it has a risk of lots of costs.
To conclude I would like to say, there are few disadvantages if the business will move to ruler areas, but pros are way better and more than cons. So government should encourage companies to move to rural areas.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong verb choice Original: admire Suggested revision: prefer Why it matters: Use 'prefer' to express a choice between city and rural life.
- 2. Natural location phrase Original: countryside Suggested revision: rural Why it matters: 'Rural areas' is the natural term for non-urban locations.
- 3. Clarify the problems Original: to resolve transport and housing Suggested revision: to address transport and housing problems Why it matters: The revised phrase makes clear that these are problems being addressed.
- 4. Remove faulty conjunction Original: In my opinion, and it is Suggested revision: In my opinion, it is Why it matters: The conjunction creates an ungrammatical clause opening here.
- 5. Separate the clauses Original: countryside people Suggested revision: countryside, people Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory conditional clause.
- 6. Place comma correctly Original: city but, their Suggested revision: city, but their Why it matters: The comma belongs before the coordinating conjunction, not after it.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: prime reason is the job Suggested revision: primary reason is employment Why it matters: 'Employment' expresses the general reason more accurately than 'the job'.
- 8. Use active verb Original: businesses are grown Suggested revision: businesses grow Why it matters: Businesses themselves grow, so the passive form is incorrect.
- 9. Add determiner Original: cities population Suggested revision: cities, the population Why it matters: The second independent clause needs punctuation and a determiner before 'population'.
- 10. Correct list form Original: problems like pollution, traffic, inflation, epidemic Suggested revision: problems such as pollution, traffic, inflation, and epidemics Why it matters: Use the plural count noun and complete the list with a conjunction.
- 11. Fix pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the singular noun 'town'.
- 12. Use formal wording Original: lots of trouble in the environment Suggested revision: considerable environmental damage Why it matters: This phrase expresses the environmental effect more precisely and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- admire prefer
- countryside rural
- to resolve transport and housing to address transport and housing problems
- In my opinion, and it is In my opinion, it is
- countryside people countryside, people
- city but, their city, but their
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear view that relocation offers greater benefits and considers relevant advantages and disadvantages, with the urban-pressure argument receiving useful explanation. Its main limitation is uneven precision: several ideas are generalized or awkwardly expressed, and the disadvantages are listed more than developed. The highest priority is to support each side with a specific causal example while revising sentence structures and word choices for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and sustains a clear position, although some supporting ideas remain general or insufficiently developed.
Develop each main advantage and disadvantage through a specific example and a clearer explanation of why it affects the comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but some linking is mechanical and several sentences connect ideas loosely.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and build each paragraph around one explicit claim followed by logically sequenced support.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations such as references to civilians, inflation, and epidemics reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, accurate terms and check collocations for business relocation, urban population growth, housing, and environmental pressure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, though frequent errors in articles, agreement, conditionals, and punctuation reduce control.
Edit conditional sentences and noun phrases systematically, especially article use, subject-verb agreement, and comma placement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.