In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Industries and businesses are a primary source of concernthe primary concern in many cities as they make the city more congested and pollute the environment on the one handin one hand, while they createwhile creates job opportunities and contribute to the development of the city on the other hand. Many of the enterprises are basedare operated and promoted in bigger cities only. Encouraging them to move to regional areas is a good idea. I believe that has more benefits than drawbacks.
There are several reasonsadvantages why industries should move to regional areasmove to the regional areas and the government should take initiatives to do so. The most important aspect is the development of the regional areas. Setting up enterprisesSetting up of the enterprises in the rural area will help to develop the basic infrastructureinfrastructures like transport facilitiestransportation facility, electricity and roadsroad in the rural areas. In addition, people in these areasthe people of this area will have the valuable employment opportunitiesgolden opportunity of employment and that would enhance living standardsthe living standard as well. Moreover, the economic activity of the area will increase and that would let the government take further initiatives in order to develop these regional areasdevelop this urban area. The various types of small businesses and industries such as hotels, lodges, and supplierslike hotel, lodge, suppliers will emerge and that will support other businesses and add value to the economy of these areas.
Regional offices are often helpful to expand businesses and to reduce the manufacturing and operating costscost. Thus many big industries would actually benefitwould be actually benefited from this. Again the pressure on the big cities would reduce and that would lessen many serious issues like pollution, traffic congestionpollutions, traffic jam and waste management.
Despite this, there are several disadvantages of moving the businesses and industries to regional areas. One of the prominent drawbacks is the exploitation of natural resources. The industry will use the various kindskind of resources such as forests and water resourcessuch as forest, water resources which will cause environmental degradationthe environmental degradation like pollution, climate change and much more. The gradual increase in the number of population in such urban areas will increase the crime rate. Finally relocating an industry to a different place involves a huge amount of costs and the industries would not want to spend this amount naturally.
All in all, comparing the good look and bad look, I think that the government must encourage the selected industries and businesses to move to regional areas where they would operate in a better fashion for the overall betterment of economy and environment and population.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear view that relocation brings greater benefits and supports it with a relevant range of economic, social, and environmental points. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted rather than convincingly explained, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer points with clearer causal explanation and accurate, natural sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and both benefits and drawbacks are addressed with generally relevant supporting ideas.
Develop the most important claims more fully and make the comparison between the two sides more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-defined paragraphs, although some transitions and references are mechanical or imprecise.
Use a wider range of natural referencing and linking choices to clarify relationships without repeatedly relying on formulaic connectors.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate range for the topic, but frequent collocational and word-form problems reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate combinations such as infrastructure development, operating costs, and environmental degradation rather than forcing less natural expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but agreement, article, plural, and clause errors recur.
Edit each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and accurate noun phrases before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.