Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
The rapid expansion of multinational companies and globalization has sparked debate regarding its overall impact on societies. While some argue that these trends are universally beneficial, I believe that although they bring substantial advantages, certain negative consequences must also be acknowledged.
On the positive side, globalization and multinational corporations contribute significantly to economic development. By investing in various countries, they create employment opportunities, improve infrastructure, and facilitate access to advanced technologies. For example, international firms in the IT and manufacturing sectors often train local employees in new skills, enhancing workforce competence and boosting national productivity.
Moreover, globalization promotes cultural exchange and innovation. Exposure to international practices, products, and ideas encourages creativity and fosters collaboration across borders. Joint ventures between foreign and domestic companies, for instance, have accelerated advancements in sectors such as healthcare and renewable energy, benefiting communities worldwide.
However, there are notable drawbacks. Local businesses frequently face intense competition from large corporations, which can threaten traditional industries and reduce economic diversity. Additionally, globalization sometimes leads to cultural homogenization, diminishing the uniqueness of local traditions and consumer preferences.
In conclusion, while the spread of multinational companies and globalization presents challenges, their economic, technological, and cultural benefits are substantial. By implementing effective regulations and supporting local enterprises, countries can maximize positive outcomes and minimize negative effects, making globalization a largely advantageous phenomenon.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify pronoun reference Original: they create Suggested revision: multinational corporations create Why it matters: The explicit subject avoids implying that globalization itself makes direct investments.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: train local employees in new skills Suggested revision: equip local employees with new skills Why it matters: Equip employees with skills is a more natural collocation.
- 3. Use concrete wording Original: competence Suggested revision: skills Why it matters: Workforce skills states the intended benefit more directly.
- 4. Avoid awkward collocation Original: advancements Suggested revision: progress Why it matters: Accelerated progress is more idiomatic than accelerated advancements.
- 5. Tighten expression Original: diminishing the uniqueness of local traditions and consumer preferences Suggested revision: eroding distinctive local traditions and consumer preferences Why it matters: The revision expresses gradual loss more precisely and concisely.
- 6. Clarify possessive reference Original: their economic, technological, and cultural benefits Suggested revision: the economic, technological, and cultural benefits of these trends Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes uncertainty about the plural possessive antecedent.
- 7. Clarify result link Original: making globalization a largely advantageous phenomenon Suggested revision: thereby making globalization largely advantageous Why it matters: Thereby makes the result relationship with the preceding actions explicit.
- 8. Use precise economic term Original: By investing in various countries Suggested revision: Through investment in host countries Why it matters: Host countries identifies the destinations of multinational investment more precisely.
- 9. Use concise expression Original: facilitate access to advanced technologies Suggested revision: expand access to advanced technology Why it matters: The revision conveys the same benefit more directly.
- 10. Clarify geographic scope Original: boosting national productivity Suggested revision: boosting productivity in host countries Why it matters: The revision links the productivity effect to the countries receiving the investment.
- 11. Tighten parallel wording Original: encourages creativity and fosters collaboration across borders Suggested revision: stimulates creativity and fosters cross-border collaboration Why it matters: The revision uses more concise parallel phrasing for the two effects.
- 12. Name the topic directly Original: there are notable drawbacks Suggested revision: these trends also have notable drawbacks Why it matters: The explicit reference connects the contrast to globalization and multinational expansion.
Suggested Rewrites
- they create multinational corporations create
- train local employees in new skills equip local employees with new skills
- competence skills
- advancements progress
- diminishing the uniqueness of local traditions and consumer preferences eroding distinctive local traditions and consumer preferences
- their economic, technological, and cultural benefits the economic, technological, and cultural benefits of these trends
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is clearly organized and uses fluent, precise language to present a qualified position, with relevant economic, technological, cultural, and business impacts. Its main limitation is brevity: at 221 words, the drawbacks and the claim about outcomes for everyone receive less development than the advantages. Prioritize extending the counterargument with a specific affected group and explaining why regulation makes the overall benefits sufficiently broad.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear, qualified position is maintained and supported with relevant advantages and drawbacks, but the under-length response develops the opposing case only briefly.
Add a fully explained example showing who may lose from globalization and link it directly to the claim about benefits for everyone.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression, with focused paragraphs and cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Integrate the shorter drawback paragraph more fully by linking it explicitly to the qualified thesis and proposed safeguards.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective control of topic-specific terms and natural collocations.
Increase nuance further by distinguishing benefits to national economies from benefits experienced by particular communities or workers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently clear punctuation and agreement.
Maintain this control while adding more elaboration through carefully subordinated cause-and-effect sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.