Should state museums charge visiting fees or that should be completely free? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Sample Response
Globally, every museum charges its visitors for visiting the museums. It creates a difference between have and have not poor sentence formation. Everyone should be given an opportunity to know about his /her native country's culture. Moreover, more numbers of local people visit museums when we make an analogy to people who make special trips to visit them. So, in this way citizens of a nation could also share and understand the heritage of their homeland. Affordability to visit museums should not be hindered just because of financial hurdles. As a result of these museums could have both foreigners and locals visiting them. On the other hand, it is quite a difficult task for state museums to maintain and add collections for our cultural heritage. They would have to compete with other necessities of people like education, hospitals etc. for allocation of the budget provided by the government. State museums would face quite a lot of difficulties to renovate and add collections to existing nation's fortune. Moreover, the number of visitors could damage the property of museums. So, the number of visitors should be limited regarding the safety of years old collections of museums. This act is an obstacle for maintenance of museums. Hence, state museums are left with no option of neglecting to charge visitors for their visit. In summary, I believe something should be done for citizens of a country in order to recognise the heritage of this nation. Children should be allowed a free entry to museums besides adults should be charged for their visits. Nevertheless, financial factors should not play a dominant role for citizens to notice their homeland's fortune.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unsupported absolute Original: every museum charges its visitors Suggested revision: many museums charge visitors Why it matters: Avoid absolute claims unless you can prove them.
- 2. Unneeded article Original: the museums Suggested revision: museums Why it matters: You are referring to museums generally.
- 3. Wrong phrase Original: have and have not Suggested revision: the rich and the poor Why it matters: This is the intended contrast in natural English.
- 4. Remove draft note Original: poor sentence formation Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This phrase appears to be an editing note and breaks the essay.
- 5. Spacing Original: his /her Suggested revision: his or her Why it matters: Avoid slash forms in formal essay writing.
- 6. Natural quantity Original: more numbers of local people Suggested revision: a larger number of local people Why it matters: This is the natural phrase.
- 7. Wrong collocation Original: make an analogy to people Suggested revision: compare them with people Why it matters: Make an analogy does not fit this comparison.
- 8. Broken phrase Original: As a result of these museums Suggested revision: As a result, these museums Why it matters: As a result of must be followed by a noun phrase; here you need As a result.
- 9. Precise wording Original: compete with other necessities of people Suggested revision: compete with other public needs Why it matters: The issue is government budget priorities, not necessities of people.
- 10. Formal list Original: hospitals etc. Suggested revision: hospitals, and transport Why it matters: Avoid etc. in formal task responses.
- 11. Noun phrase Original: existing nation's fortune Suggested revision: the nation's existing collections Why it matters: Fortune is not the right noun for museum collections.
- 12. Natural adjective Original: years old collections Suggested revision: historic collections Why it matters: Historic collections is clearer and more concise.
Suggested Rewrites
- every museum charges its visitors many museums charge visitors
- the museums museums
- have and have not the rich and the poor
- poor sentence formation Delete
- his /her his or her
- more numbers of local people a larger number of local people
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response discusses both free access and the need for museum funding, and gives a compromise view, but some points are unclear or weakly supported.
State your compromise in the introduction and support it with concrete policy details, such as free entry for residents or children and fees for tourists.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical contrast, but the essay is one block and some sentences are inserted awkwardly, including an obvious stray phrase.
Use separate paragraphs and remove unrelated or drafting text that interrupts the argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for public services and heritage, but several expressions are unnatural or inaccurate.
Use clearer terms such as admission fees, public funding, maintenance costs, cultural heritage, and affordable access.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors with articles, sentence boundaries, prepositions, and noun phrases occur throughout, though meaning is usually recoverable.
Revise sentence by sentence for complete clauses and natural noun groups.