Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Ensuring food adequacy for the entire population has been a major concern for nations throughout the centuries. Some people believe that the government should focus on producing all kinds of food while importing as little as possible to ensure food sufficiency. I firmly believe that producing many kinds of food is an inevitable effort in terms of ensuring the nation’s food security. Firstly, the more a country relies on imported food, the more food crisis it faces. Food import includes transportation costs, taxation and other charges that eventually increase the food price. To tackle this problem, a government should allocate more budgets to improve national production by maximising the collaboration of research centres with farmers. Related university courses and diploma programmes can create more talented individuals who would be involved in domestic food production. Furthermore, by mass production of all kinds of food items, a country can prepare for the rainy days. Secondly, by focusing on farming, irrigation and planting, a government can decrease unemployment problems. For example, in Indonesia, the farming sector creates the highest percentage of jobs. More than 50 per cent of Indonesians are directly or indirectly depends on the agriculture sector. Finally, imported food does not have the same quality and freshness as locally produced food and crops. If food is imported from a long distance, the food value degrades and in some cases, toxic chemicals are used to preserve the imported food. Thus the local production of foods would ensure better food quality and sound health of citizens. In conclusion, preventing the food crisis, ensuring better food quality and decreasing unemployment could be achieved if a country becomes self-sufficient in its food production. It is expected that countries would emphasize their domestic food production as it gives many competitive advantages over importing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: an inevitable effort Suggested revision: a necessary step Why it matters: A policy action is more naturally described as a necessary step than an inevitable effort.
- 2. Correct comparative structure Original: the more food crisis it faces Suggested revision: the greater the risk of a food crisis Why it matters: The correlative comparative requires a comparative phrase parallel to 'the more a country relies'.
- 3. Use natural process noun Original: Food import includes Suggested revision: Importing food involves Why it matters: The gerund construction describes the import process and its associated costs more naturally.
- 4. Use plural for generalisation Original: the food price Suggested revision: food prices Why it matters: The sentence refers to food prices generally rather than one specific price.
- 5. Correct funding collocation Original: budgets Suggested revision: funding Why it matters: Governments allocate funding or a budget, while 'budgets' is unnatural in this context.
- 6. Improve collaboration phrasing Original: maximising the collaboration of research centres with farmers Suggested revision: strengthening collaboration between research centres and farmers Why it matters: 'Collaboration between' correctly and naturally links the two groups.
- 7. Use precise training verb Original: create more talented individuals Suggested revision: train more skilled individuals Why it matters: Courses and programmes train people rather than create them.
- 8. Use gerund after by Original: by mass production of Suggested revision: by mass-producing Why it matters: 'By' should introduce the action through a gerund in this sentence.
- 9. Correct the idiom Original: prepare for the rainy days Suggested revision: prepare for a rainy day Why it matters: The fixed idiom is 'prepare for a rainy day' with a singular indefinite noun phrase.
- 10. Improve collocation Original: decrease unemployment problems Suggested revision: reduce unemployment Why it matters: 'Reduce unemployment' is the concise and standard collocation.
- 11. Clarify nutritional meaning Original: the food value degrades Suggested revision: its nutritional value declines Why it matters: 'Nutritional value declines' precisely expresses the intended loss of food quality over distance.
- 12. Use natural time phrase Original: throughout Suggested revision: over Why it matters: 'Over the centuries' is the more natural expression for a continuing historical concern.
Suggested Rewrites
- an inevitable effort a necessary step
- the more food crisis it faces the greater the risk of a food crisis
- Food import includes Importing food involves
- the food price food prices
- budgets funding
- maximising the collaboration of research centres with farmers strengthening collaboration between research centres and farmers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with several relevant economic, employment, and health arguments. Its strongest ideas are easy to follow, but the single-paragraph structure and frequent imprecise collocations limit polish, while the feasibility of producing all food receives little consideration. Prioritise organising each main reason into its own paragraph and qualifying overly absolute claims with more precise analysis.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, though the absolute proposal is accepted with limited consideration of practical constraints.
Acknowledge agricultural or climatic limits and explain why greater self-sufficiency is still preferable despite them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses clearly through signposted main points, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens structural clarity.
Use separate body paragraphs for food security, employment, and quality, with each paragraph developing one central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response shows useful topic vocabulary, but recurring unnatural combinations such as 'food adequacy' and 'decrease unemployment problems' reduce precision.
Strengthen collocational control by using natural phrases such as 'food security', 'allocate a larger budget', and 'reduce unemployment'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is generally controlled, although agreement and countability errors recur and occasionally disrupt fluency.
Proofread noun phrases and subject-verb agreement, especially constructions involving percentages, populations, and uncountable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.