Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With the growing trend of globalization, more tourists from all over the world are spending their vacations in Vietnam. This has led to some thinking that this trend has a negative impact overall. I strongly disagree with this idea, thinking that international traveling is beneficial to the countries visited.
I disagree with the statement because international travels foster the tourism industry of Vietnam. For example, for many tourist attractions, local people rely heavily on tourism to make their living. Foreign tourists are typically more generous as they spend more on food, souvenirs, and activities like canoeing or zip-lining. Another reason why I disagree is that, because of foreign travelers, more restoration of Vietnamese culture gets carried out. Foreign tourists are more interested in traditional festivals, clothes, and buildings than domestic ones. By encouraging foreigners to visit Vietnam, we have the incentives to preserve our traditions, especially when foreigners appreciate them.
However, I can understand why some people have a negative attitude towards foreign tourists. The first reason is that foreigners sometimes can have little respect for the environment of the country they traveled to. It can be seen, usually, after vacations, that visitors from some countries would typically litter all over the beaches, like Vung Tau or Nha Trang. The second reason is that the greater the influx of international tourists, the less domestic tourists can enjoy themselves. For example, Hoi An is always packed with tourists from South Korea and China all year round, making it extremely difficult for domestic tourists to enjoy any activities here. This problem is considered the tradeoff between prioritizing international or domestic tourists.
In conclusion, I do agree that international travelers can cause problems for the countries they visit. However, I still strongly disagree with this statement because the benefits to the tourism industry cannot be ignored.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use object complement Original: This has led to some thinking Suggested revision: This has led some people to think Why it matters: The verb “lead” needs a person as its object before the infinitive in this meaning.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: traveling Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: “Travel” is the standard uncountable noun for the general activity.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: international travels foster Suggested revision: international travel fosters Why it matters: The uncountable subject “travel” takes the singular verb “fosters.”
- 4. Use location preposition Original: for Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use “at” to indicate where local people depend on tourism.
- 5. Correct fixed phrase Original: their Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The established English expression is “make a living.”
- 6. Improve passive structure Original: more restoration of Vietnamese culture gets carried out Suggested revision: more effort is made to restore Vietnamese culture Why it matters: The revision replaces an awkward passive construction with a clear grammatical form.
- 7. Clarify comparison Original: ones Suggested revision: tourists Why it matters: “Ones” could refer to the listed cultural items, so repeating “tourists” removes ambiguity.
- 8. Fix article choice Original: have the incentives Suggested revision: have an incentive Why it matters: A singular general motivation requires the indefinite article “an.”
- 9. Improve adverb order Original: sometimes can have little respect Suggested revision: can sometimes show little respect Why it matters: Placing the frequency adverb after the modal and using “show respect” creates a more natural clause.
- 10. Keep general tense Original: the country they traveled to Suggested revision: the countries they visit Why it matters: The plural present form matches the essay’s general claim about foreign tourists.
- 11. Correct paired construction Original: the tradeoff between prioritizing international or domestic tourists Suggested revision: a trade-off between prioritizing international and domestic tourists Why it matters: A comparison “between” two alternatives normally pairs them with “and,” while the indefinite article fits a newly introduced trade-off.
- 12. Use natural word order Original: negative impact overall Suggested revision: overall negative impact Why it matters: Placing “overall” before the noun phrase is more natural and concise.
Suggested Rewrites
- This has led to some thinking This has led some people to think
- traveling travel
- international travels foster international travel fosters
- for at
- their a
- more restoration of Vietnamese culture gets carried out more effort is made to restore Vietnamese culture
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear position, develops both benefits and drawbacks with concrete examples, and moves logically through the argument. Its main limitation is that several claims and examples rely on broad generalisations, while occasional awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the evaluation of why the benefits outweigh the acknowledged harms and express those comparisons more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with relevant, developed reasons while opposing concerns are also addressed.
Make the final judgement more persuasive by explicitly weighing the identified benefits against the environmental and crowding problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, with generally effective cohesive control throughout.
Use less formulaic signposting and create smoother links between examples and the claims they support.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, though several collocations and comparisons are awkward or imprecise.
Refine expressions such as 'international travel', 'cultural restoration', and 'fewer domestic tourists' for greater accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are used with good control, although minor errors in number, tense, comparison, and adverb placement remain.
Proofread complex sentences for plural forms, comparative structures, and consistent tense before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.