Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
Sample Response
It is increasingly common in large urban areas for neighbors to interact less. In my opinion, this results in a declining sense of community and the solutions must be individually motivated.
In most cities today, the lack of connection between neighbors has caused less culturally unique neighborhoods. An illustrative counter-example to this would be famous neighborhoods such as Venice Beach in Los Angeles and Greenwich Village in New York City. In the past, individuals living in these areas shared similar values and that led to a flourishing of a unique culture. One result of such a sense of community was the “Beat Poets” of Greenwich. Related to this is the fading distinctiveness of communities that have value for locals and tourists alike. An individual living in a district in a major metropolis today feels little sentiment for its streets, buildings and other inhabitants and therefore derives nearly nothing in the way of a singular shared identity.
Remedies for the problems detailed above involve individual initiative. Governments attempting to contrive a sense of community will likely only provoke backlash. Instead, individuals could choose to live in parts of a city with a heritage that suits them and not join mass movements toward gentrification. A standout example of this would be expatriate enclaves in developing nations. These communities are able to preserve some of their cultural traditions and are entirely the result of individuals choosing to live together with those who represent their values and interests. This could be replicated on a larger scale if city residents choose their homes more thoughtfully and are more respectful of the traditions of any given community.
In conclusion, the problems stemming from less involvement between neighbors affect the community at large and should be dealt with by those most impacted by the ramifications. In this way, some cultural integrity can be preserved in a globalized world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise frequency Original: interact less Suggested revision: interact less frequently Why it matters: The adverb makes the reduced frequency of interaction explicit.
- 2. Clarify the solution source Original: solutions must be individually motivated Suggested revision: solutions must come from individual initiative Why it matters: This phrasing expresses more clearly that residents themselves should take action.
- 3. Use concise terminology Original: counter-example to this Suggested revision: counterexample Why it matters: The shorter form conveys the intended contrast without the vague reference to “this”.
- 4. Correct the noun phrase Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The definite article is needed for this specific process following “led to”.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: feels little sentiment for Suggested revision: feels little attachment to Why it matters: “Attachment to” is the natural collocation for an emotional connection to a place.
- 6. Make the claim direct Original: derives nearly nothing in the way of a singular shared identity Suggested revision: develops almost no sense of a shared identity Why it matters: The revision states the intended effect more directly and naturally.
- 7. Clarify the action Original: not join mass movements toward gentrification Suggested revision: avoid contributing to widespread gentrification Why it matters: This wording makes the residents’ proposed action more concrete and idiomatic.
- 8. Reduce wordiness Original: A standout example of this would be Suggested revision: A clear example is Why it matters: The concise phrase introduces the example without unnecessary hedging.
- 9. Use a direct verb Original: are entirely the result of Suggested revision: arise entirely from Why it matters: The direct verb creates a more economical and grammatically smooth clause.
- 10. Use a precise noun Original: involvement Suggested revision: interaction Why it matters: “Interaction” refers more precisely to the contact described throughout the response.
- 11. Avoid inflated wording Original: those most impacted by the ramifications Suggested revision: those most affected Why it matters: The simpler phrase preserves the meaning while avoiding redundant abstraction.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: In most cities today, the lack of connection between neighbors has caused less culturally unique neighborhoods. Suggested revision: In most cities today, weak connections between neighbors have made neighborhoods less culturally distinctive. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the faulty comparative structure and expresses the effect clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- interact less interact less frequently
- solutions must be individually motivated solutions must come from individual initiative
- counter-example to this counterexample
- a the
- feels little sentiment for feels little attachment to
- derives nearly nothing in the way of a singular shared identity develops almost no sense of a shared identity
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its confident, fluent development of a clear central argument, supported by specific cultural examples and a logical progression from problem to remedy. Its main limitation is that the proposed solution—choosing heritage-oriented neighbourhoods—only indirectly addresses the broader lack of interaction among neighbours and is somewhat idealised. Prioritise a more practical, directly causal solution and explain how it would rebuild everyday local relationships.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position and developed examples, although the proposed remedy is somewhat indirect and narrow.
Develop a practical measure that directly increases contact among existing neighbours and explain its likely effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive links used naturally and unobtrusively.
Make the transition from the identified community problem to the proposed individual remedy even more explicitly causal.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, sophisticated, and generally precise, with only occasional slightly strained phrasing.
Prefer direct, natural collocations where expressions such as cultural uniqueness or shared identity become overly elaborate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Refine occasional compressed constructions to make already accurate sentences more effortless and concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.