News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
Same question Compare 3 different answersSample Response
In today’s modern world, a growing amount of news and information on television or newspapers have considerably influenced the public. Besides, what factors are impacted on reporting information on news media is an issue many people feel strongly about. This essay will discuss various influences as well as associated with phenomenon above.
As far as I am concerned, there is a wide range of factor accounting for publishing news and broadcasts. The most noticeable, I believe, is that aiming at a high audience rating so as to maximise profits. This leads to pursuing the increasingly diverse needs of viewers from all walks of life in order to satisfy and cater to them. Another contributory factor is that for many countries, news editors have to succumb to political pressure, distorting facts and misleading the public. To put it another way, they are controlled entirely by powerful political parties and enjoined to disregard the truth. This is particularly true in many undemocratic countries like Chinese, North Korea, and Vietnam where information is seriously censored and even disseminated political ideals to guide public opinions. Moreover, living in the information era, people are bombarded with the daily amount of news, including good and bad news, from multiple media. Today’s coverage and press might sometimes be less trustworthy mainly because it often exaggerates the level of the real information, in order to boost the attention of the desired audiences. Furthermore, some media companies use the stories of people’s private life, seductive images and violent or obscene contents to appeal viewers, especially teenagers. It means that their thoughts and behaviours might be changed and shows a tendency to hatred, violence, jealousy, and even copycat phenomenon. However, the role of news media in reporting good news, such as someone’s achievement and human stories, should be acknowledged. That will make quicker progress toward society better. In conclusion, what today’s news and information on media we receive is influenced by some main factors as hooking viewers, increasing profits, and obeying political regulations. Besides, the news media can have a double-edged impact on society by the good and bad news. By doing so, we can ensure that choosing information carefully before reading and watching are indispensable to us.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Subject-verb agreement Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The singular head noun “amount” requires the singular verb “has.”
- 2. Complete the coordination Original: as well as associated with phenomenon above Suggested revision: and the phenomenon described above Why it matters: The original phrase lacks a determiner and does not coordinate grammatically with “various influences.”
- 3. Use plural noun Original: factor Suggested revision: factors Why it matters: “A wide range of” must be followed by a plural count noun.
- 4. Clarify the process Original: accounting for publishing news and broadcasts Suggested revision: influencing which news is published and broadcast Why it matters: The replacement states clearly that the factors affect editorial selection.
- 5. Repair clause structure Original: that aiming at Suggested revision: the aim of achieving Why it matters: A noun phrase is needed after “is” to complete the sentence.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: pursuing the increasingly diverse needs Suggested revision: meeting diverse needs Why it matters: People meet needs rather than pursue them.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: satisfy and cater to them Suggested revision: satisfy them Why it matters: “Satisfy” and “cater to” express the same idea here.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “In” correctly introduces the countries where this situation occurs.
- 9. Use country name Original: Chinese Suggested revision: China Why it matters: “Chinese” names a nationality or language, while the list requires the country name “China.”
- 10. Restore passive structure Original: even disseminated political ideals Suggested revision: even used to disseminate political ideas Why it matters: The information is used to spread ideas, so the passive construction needs “used to.”
- 11. Use fixed expression Original: opinions Suggested revision: opinion Why it matters: “Public opinion” is normally an uncountable expression in this context.
- 12. Improve news collocation Original: the daily amount of news Suggested revision: a daily stream of news Why it matters: “A stream of news” naturally describes a continual supply of reports.
Suggested Rewrites
- have has
- as well as associated with phenomenon above and the phenomenon described above
- factor factors
- accounting for publishing news and broadcasts influencing which news is published and broadcast
- that aiming at the aim of achieving
- pursuing the increasingly diverse needs meeting diverse needs
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its substantial discussion of commercial, political, and sensationalist influences on editorial choices, supported by several relevant explanations. However, it barely addresses whether audiences become accustomed to bad news and only briefly considers the value of reporting more good news. The priority is to plan around every explicit question and give each one a distinct, developed answer.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops several relevant influences on news selection but leaves the habituation question largely unanswered and treats good news only briefly.
Allocate a clear section to each explicit question, directly state whether people become accustomed to bad news, and support that view with explanation or an example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress through identifiable points, but the very long central paragraph and sometimes mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Separate the factors, effects of bad news, and case for good news into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably wide vocabulary for media and social influence, though frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as attract viewers, shape public opinion, and political propaganda, checking word form and countability carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and sentence construction reduce control.
Build complete subject-verb structures first, then edit each sentence for agreement, articles, and accurately formed subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.