Newspapers have an enormous influence on people’s opinions and ideas. Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
Sample Response
Newspapers play a vital role in the society because of its influential abilities. It has a huge impact on the thoughts of people in various manners. In my opinion, newspapers can act as a constructive tool if used in a positive and fair manner, but it can also be a lethal weapon for society, if in wrong hands. Starting from the freedom fight of our nation, the newspaper had played a major role in the awakening of common man. As the result of that, our nation got independence. In today's world, newspaper act as the centralized chain to spread about what is happening all around. It enlightens people about the crisis situations which help them to be prepared and take all the preventive actions needed. It also makes the common people aware of the economy of the nation and helps public to know about their elected leaders. On the other hand, a biased news in the newspaper, lead to a negative influence on the reader's mind and can adversely affect the perceptions of the reader. Nowadays, newspapers publish model photographs just to raise their sales. Some of the newspapers are being used by political leaders, in order to create their fake image to get political benefits. As a result of growing competition and commercialization, newspapers can easily break the thin line of an ethical barrier, which can have negative on the society. To sum up, there is a great saying that the pen is more powerful than the sword so newspaper plays an important role in developing the opinion, either positive or negative, in the society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove article Original: in the society Suggested revision: in society Why it matters: Society is general here.
- 2. Agreement Original: because of its influential abilities Suggested revision: because of their influence Why it matters: The plural newspapers needs their.
- 3. Natural phrase Original: in various manners Suggested revision: in various ways Why it matters: Ways is idiomatic here.
- 4. Missing article Original: if in wrong hands Suggested revision: if in the wrong hands Why it matters: The fixed phrase requires the.
- 5. Collocation Original: freedom fight Suggested revision: independence movement Why it matters: This is more precise.
- 6. Agreement Original: newspaper act Suggested revision: newspapers act Why it matters: The general subject should be plural.
- 7. Verb pattern Original: spread about what is happening Suggested revision: report what is happening Why it matters: Spread about is not idiomatic.
- 8. Uncountable noun Original: a biased news Suggested revision: biased news Why it matters: News is uncountable.
- 9. Agreement Original: lead to a negative influence Suggested revision: leads to a negative influence Why it matters: The subject news is singular.
- 10. Collocation Original: raise their sales Suggested revision: increase their sales Why it matters: Increase collocates with sales.
- 11. Precise meaning Original: create their fake image Suggested revision: manufacture a favourable public image Why it matters: The original is unclear.
- 12. Missing noun Original: have negative on the society Suggested revision: have negative effects on society Why it matters: Effects completes the phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the society in society
- because of its influential abilities because of their influence
- in various manners in various ways
- if in wrong hands if in the wrong hands
- freedom fight independence movement
- newspaper act newspapers act
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response recognises that newspapers can inform citizens or manipulate them and supplies several relevant examples on both sides. However, it does not answer the required positive-or-negative choice clearly, and the argument is compressed into one paragraph with frequent agreement and article errors. Choose a definite overall judgment, organise contrasting effects into separate paragraphs, and explain how each example supports that judgment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Relevant positive and negative effects are presented, but no clear final judgment answers the question.
Decide whether the influence is predominantly positive or negative and evaluate both sides accordingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas have a broad contrastive order, but one-block presentation and weak transitions limit progression.
Use separate introduction, positive, negative and conclusion paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is some effective topic vocabulary, alongside awkward collocations and imprecise wording.
Use precise media terms and avoid dramatic unsupported metaphors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors in agreement, articles and clause construction are frequent but meaning is usually recoverable.
Check singular newspaper, plural newspapers and their verbs consistently.