Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In the digital era, there is a growing belief that newspapers and TV news are outdated since these traditional news sources have no direct relevance to people’s personal lives. I, however, disagree with this perspective as it overlooks the broader role of news in shaping an informed society.
It is crucial to understand that all forms of news offer useful insights into events that add to our overall understanding of the world. This awareness helps people to develop a more profound insight into the world beyond their own country. As the world becomes increasingly interconnected, individuals need to be aware of global newsworthy situations as actions in one part of the globe can quickly cause ripple effects elsewhere. For example, during the Brexit negotiations, comprehensive news reports helped people worldwide understand the economic and political ramifications, not just for the UK and Europe, but for global trade and travel.
Another important point to consider is that news media act as watchdogs that hold those in power accountable. By reporting on government policies, societal issues, and public opinions, newspapers and TV news ensure that citizens are well-informed, which is essential for making responsible voting decisions. While it is true that the immediacy of social media and the internet might provide more direct engagement with our immediate interests, it would be a mistake to dismiss traditional news sources as outdated and irrelevant. Newspapers and TV news offer a broader, more in-depth perspective on the world, which is invaluable for developing a well-rounded worldview.
In conclusion, while newspapers and TV news might not always have a direct influence our personal daily experiences, their contribution to our understanding of the broader world, democracy, and social issues is significant. Dismissing them as a waste of time, in my view, overlooks the essential role they play in creating and shaping an informed society.
Overall, the essay is a great example of Band 8 writing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: a more profound insight Suggested revision: a deeper understanding Why it matters: This phrase expresses the idea more naturally and avoids repeating “insight” from the previous sentence.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: global newsworthy situations Suggested revision: major global developments Why it matters: “Developments” is a more natural term for significant events reported in the news.
- 3. Use standard collocation Original: opinions Suggested revision: opinion Why it matters: “Public opinion” is normally used as an uncountable collective noun in this context.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: responsible Suggested revision: informed Why it matters: “Informed decisions” more precisely conveys decisions based on reliable news.
- 5. Clarify the comparison Original: the immediacy of social media and the internet Suggested revision: the immediacy of online and social media Why it matters: This wording avoids treating the internet itself as a news medium parallel to social media.
- 6. Remove vague repetition Original: more direct engagement with our immediate interests Suggested revision: more direct access to information relevant to our immediate interests Why it matters: The revision clarifies what “engagement” means while avoiding the repeated “direct/immediate” pairing.
- 7. Add required preposition Original: influence our Suggested revision: influence on our Why it matters: The noun “influence” requires “on” before the affected object.
- 8. Remove redundant wording Original: creating and shaping Suggested revision: shaping Why it matters: “Creating” and “shaping” overlap here, so one precise verb is sufficient.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: It is crucial to understand that all forms of news offer useful insights into events that add to our overall understanding of the world. Suggested revision: All forms of news provide useful information about events, broadening our understanding of the world. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the heavy opening and clarifies that news, rather than the events themselves, broadens understanding.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, during the Brexit negotiations, comprehensive news reports helped people worldwide understand the economic and political ramifications, not just for the UK and Europe, but for global trade and travel. Suggested revision: For example, during the Brexit negotiations, comprehensive news reports helped people worldwide understand the economic and political ramifications for the UK, Europe, global trade, and travel. Why it matters: The rewrite repairs the faulty “not just … but” parallel structure while preserving the example.
Suggested Rewrites
- a more profound insight a deeper understanding
- global newsworthy situations major global developments
- opinions opinion
- responsible informed
- the immediacy of social media and the internet the immediacy of online and social media
- more direct engagement with our immediate interests more direct access to information relevant to our immediate interests
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and develops two persuasive reasons through relevant explanation and a concrete example, with particularly strong control of argument and progression. Its main weakness is the unnecessary self-evaluative final sentence, alongside a few imprecise or repetitive expressions. Delete that comment and refine local wording so the conclusion remains the authoritative endpoint of the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is direct and fully sustained through two well-developed, relevant reasons supported by an appropriate example.
Remove the final self-evaluative sentence and deepen the link between traditional news consumption and its practical relevance to individuals.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically across well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used smoothly and unobtrusively.
Let the conclusion end the essay cleanly instead of appending a disconnected comment about the quality of the writing.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, although a few phrases are repetitive or slightly awkward.
Replace repetitions such as variants of insight and refine expressions such as global newsworthy situations for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with only rare minor errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread for small omissions, particularly the missing preposition in direct influence our personal daily experiences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.