The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Among the renewable sources of energy, nuclear energy is considered to be the most widely sustainable energy. However, this atomic energy encompasses its own set of impediments. Many people assume that countries around the globe are united due to nuclear pressures as well as the outcomes of this energy are far more beneficial. In my view, I diverge with the above-said viewpoint, as nuclear energy can prove to have more devastating effects if not utilized constructively.
Although nuclear energy is assumed as a significant renewable source of energy, the disposal of nuclear waste imposes a major threat. For instance, scientists do accomplish that the end products of nuclear plants that synthesize the energy seem to impart health-associated problems for the residents. Secondly, the establishment of nuclear power plants involves a humongous capital investment that can rather be spent on developing the natural resources of energy such as water, solar so on.
The technological era not only witnessed the breakthrough in technical fields but also has visualized the favorable side of nuclear weapons. A part of the community strongly adheres to the reason that the deals and agreements between the developed as well as developing countries may be the cause behind peace prevalence among the world. On the contrary, I dissent that we are seated on the edge of an erupting volcano by signing nuclear weapon treaties. For example, the inference we gained from Japan after the heinous Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuclear bombings is still prevalent to us. For instance, as of the date, the former generations are still suffering from skin cancers, physical disabilities owing to radiation side effects.
The advent of a new trend that transforms the phase of human lives should always be welcomed positively such as affordable nuclear energy. Nevertheless, we should always remember and learn from experience like sputniks moments.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct awkward collocation Original: the most widely sustainable energy Suggested revision: one of the most sustainable energy sources Why it matters: Widely sustainable is not a natural way to describe an energy source.
- 2. Use direct wording Original: encompasses its own set of impediments Suggested revision: has its own drawbacks Why it matters: The replacement expresses the same idea more naturally and concisely.
- 3. Correct disagreement phrase Original: diverge Suggested revision: disagree Why it matters: Diverge does not take with in this expression of disagreement.
- 4. Replace nonstandard phrase Original: above-said viewpoint Suggested revision: viewpoint Why it matters: Above-said is unnatural in standard academic English.
- 5. Remove vague comparison Original: prove to have more devastating effects Suggested revision: have devastating effects Why it matters: More lacks a clear comparison and weakens the precision of the claim.
- 6. Correct verb pattern Original: is assumed as Suggested revision: is considered Why it matters: Considered takes a noun complement directly, whereas assumed as is incorrect here.
- 7. Correct threat collocation Original: imposes Suggested revision: poses Why it matters: A threat is posed rather than imposed.
- 8. Use reporting verb Original: scientists do accomplish that Suggested revision: scientists have found that Why it matters: Accomplish cannot introduce a reported scientific finding.
- 9. Name waste precisely Original: end Suggested revision: waste Why it matters: Waste products identifies the hazardous material more precisely in this context.
- 10. Correct energy collocation Original: that synthesize the energy Suggested revision: that generate energy Why it matters: Power plants generate energy rather than synthesize it.
- 11. Use natural health phrase Original: impart health-associated problems Suggested revision: cause health problems Why it matters: Impart does not collocate with problems in this meaning.
- 12. Clarify affected group Original: the Suggested revision: local Why it matters: Local specifies which residents are exposed to the effects being discussed.
Suggested Rewrites
- the most widely sustainable energy one of the most sustainable energy sources
- encompasses its own set of impediments has its own drawbacks
- diverge disagree
- above-said viewpoint viewpoint
- prove to have more devastating effects have devastating effects
- is assumed as is considered
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is that it addresses both nuclear energy and nuclear weapons while maintaining a generally discernible opposition to the stated view. Its main limitation is uneven development: several claims are vague or poorly supported, and the final paragraph weakens the position by introducing an unclear concession. The highest-priority improvement is to organize each issue around one precise argument, explain its consequences clearly, and end with an unambiguous conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both parts of the proposition and presents a negative position, but support is uneven and the ending is ambiguous.
Develop one well-explained disadvantage for each aspect and restate the position clearly in a conventional conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main topics and overall progression is apparent, although some links within and between ideas are imprecise or mechanical.
Use clearer topic sentences and logical cause-and-effect links so each example directly advances the paragraph's main claim.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prioritize natural, precise combinations such as “poses health risks” and “promotes international stability” over elaborate but unsuitable expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring errors in clause construction, tense, articles, and parallel structures reduce clarity.
Check complex sentences for a clear subject, consistent verb structure, and complete coordination before adding further clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.