Some people think that the public health of a country can be improved if the government make laws regarding nutritious food but others think that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Healthy living and the government's role in it is a great concern for many. Some opine that the government needs to pass laws regarding nutritious food intake to improve public health, while others oppose this idea as they believe that it is a matter of individual choice. The following paragraphs will shed some light on this debate. In my opinion, however, campaigns and school education, instead of laws, can bring better results.
On the one hand, a healthy lifestyle is a choice and habit of an individual. No matter how many laws are passed and how strictly the government monitors food quality if a person does not follow a healthy lifestyle and eating habits, he or she will suffer from health-related problems today or tomorrow. Thus the choices of individuals greatly affect the overall health condition of a nation. Making laws to force people to eat nutritional food is impractical, and governments in developing countries can never implement that policy.
On the other hand, the use of chemicals, preservatives and adhesives in food items should be banned, and more taxes should be imposed on unhealthy fast food. Only the government can ensure that. In this regard, laws can improve the food quality that citizens intake. Even after having a proper diet and regular exercise, if people are forced to eat foods that have chemicals and harmful ingredients, they would suffer from dangerous diseases. Using unauthorised chemicals, and selling expired and low-quality foods should be halted by the authority and more stringent laws are needed for that.
In my opinion, instead of making new laws to force ordinary citizens to eat what the state believes is healthy, frequent campaigns can make people aware of eating unhealthily. The government should also focus on educating youth students to learn about healthy eating habits so that they become responsible adults to follow a healthy lifestyle and proper diets. This, in my opinion, would bring far better results in the long run.
To conclude, citizens of a country have to follow a healthy lifestyle and eat nutritious food to stay fit and productive. But instead of making laws and forcing them, the state authority can educate them and monitor the market to ensure it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify possession Original: a choice and habit of an individual Suggested revision: an individual's choice and habit Why it matters: The possessive construction states clearly that the choice and habit belong to the individual.
- 2. Choose correct adjective Original: nutritional food Suggested revision: nutritious food Why it matters: “Nutritious” describes food that provides nourishment; “nutritional” relates more broadly to nutrition.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: adhesives in food items Suggested revision: additives in food products Why it matters: The intended substances added to food are additives, whereas adhesives are glues.
- 4. Use tax collocation Original: more taxes should be imposed Suggested revision: higher taxes should be imposed Why it matters: Tax rates or amounts are described as higher, not more.
- 5. Use correct verb Original: the food quality that citizens intake Suggested revision: the quality of food that citizens consume Why it matters: People consume food; they do not “intake” food as a transitive verb in this construction.
- 6. Fix concession structure Original: Even after having a proper diet and regular exercise Suggested revision: Even with a proper diet and regular exercise Why it matters: “With” expresses the simultaneous healthy habits needed for this concessive clause.
- 7. Remove semantic repetition Original: foods that have chemicals and harmful ingredients Suggested revision: food containing harmful chemicals Why it matters: The revision combines the overlapping references to chemicals and harmful ingredients concisely.
- 8. Use natural health wording Original: would suffer from dangerous diseases Suggested revision: could suffer from serious illnesses Why it matters: “Serious illnesses” is the natural collocation, and “could” expresses the stated possibility.
- 9. Use plural authority Original: by the authority and Suggested revision: by the authorities, and Why it matters: The plural noun refers to government bodies, and the comma separates the two independent clauses.
- 10. Fix relative clause Original: responsible adults to follow Suggested revision: responsible adults who follow Why it matters: A relative clause with “who” correctly describes the adults.
- 11. Clarify final reference Original: ensure it Suggested revision: ensure food safety Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase clarifies what market monitoring is intended to secure.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: No matter how many laws are passed and how strictly the government monitors food quality if a person does not follow a healthy lifestyle and eating habits, he or she will suffer from health-related problems today or tomorrow. Suggested revision: No matter how many laws are passed or how strictly food quality is monitored, a person who does not maintain a healthy lifestyle and healthy eating habits will eventually suffer from health problems. Why it matters: The rewrite separates the concessive conditions clearly and repairs the faulty clause structure while preserving the claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- a choice and habit of an individual an individual's choice and habit
- nutritional food nutritious food
- adhesives in food items additives in food products
- more taxes should be imposed higher taxes should be imposed
- the food quality that citizens intake the quality of food that citizens consume
- Even after having a proper diet and regular exercise Even with a proper diet and regular exercise
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its nuanced distinction between regulating harmful food production and forcing individuals to eat particular foods, while proposing education and campaigns as a practical alternative. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision and an underexplained tension between opposing new laws and endorsing bans and taxes. The highest priority is to state a precise policy principle that reconciles these measures and consistently frames the government’s appropriate role.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are fully explored and the writer offers a clear, developed position combining personal responsibility, education, and regulation of the food market.
Explicitly distinguish laws that control producers from laws that dictate consumers’ diets so the qualified position cannot appear contradictory.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through focused paragraphs on personal choice, regulation, education, and the final synthesis, with effective cohesion.
Make the transition into the writer’s preferred solution more comparative by directly weighing education against coercive dietary laws.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise across public health, regulation, nutrition, and education, with a few awkward or inaccurate choices.
Replace ‘adhesives’ with ‘additives’, ‘food quality that citizens intake’ with ‘the quality of food citizens consume’, and ‘youth students’ with ‘young people’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, though occasional agreement, punctuation, and clause-attachment errors remain.
Check compound subjects and subordinate clauses, particularly ‘healthy living and the government’s role are’ and the conditional sentence about monitoring food quality.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the public health of a country can be improved if the government make laws regarding nutritious food but others think that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.