Nowadays distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as well as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The Covid-19 pandemic has transformed our daily routine, especially what concerns university life. Even public university teachers can now impart lessons through the digital platform without moving from their homes. However, many experts argue that this form of education cannot be minimally compared to the previous standard because many technical and human problems are already on the verge of exploding. My viewpoint matches this perspective because computers may become a significant obstacle to learning and social relations.
Scientists from the University of California, in 2020, affirmed that distance-learning activities have considerably worsened the students’ apprehension. Their peer-reviewed study showed that freshers of the Software Engineer Faculty in that year did not understand many notions of essential exams. For this reason, they graduated later, causing severe problems in their working career. This did not happen until 2018, when lessons were regularly imparted face-to-face, and the internet was residual.
Another problem connected to the previous one is that online courses cut social relations among students. This inevitably affected their overall performance because, by having less contact with each other, they felt isolated and pressured by the significant number of assignments the professor gave to them. To illustrate this point, the University of Louisiana, in 2021, affirmed that the isolation produced a great depression among the attendees, and this negatively influenced the final mark of their graduation.
In conclusion, for the motivations stated above, distance-learning courses will never be the same as traditional lessons. Hopefully, teachers will think twice before adopting this means to accomplish their programs in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the expression Original: especially what concerns university life Suggested revision: especially with regard to university life Why it matters: With regard to is the natural expression for narrowing the topic.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: through the digital platform Suggested revision: via digital platforms Why it matters: The plural generic phrase is more natural for online teaching technologies.
- 3. Clarify the comparison Original: cannot be minimally compared to Suggested revision: cannot be considered comparable to Why it matters: Minimally compared is not an idiomatic way to express a lack of equivalence.
- 4. Name the model clearly Original: the previous standard Suggested revision: the traditional model Why it matters: Traditional model clearly identifies the in-person form of education being contrasted.
- 5. Avoid strained metaphor Original: on the verge of exploding Suggested revision: becoming acute Why it matters: Problems can become acute, while exploding is an imprecise metaphor in this context.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: My viewpoint matches this perspective Suggested revision: I share this view Why it matters: The revision expresses agreement directly and naturally.
- 7. Choose precise wording Original: relations Suggested revision: interaction Why it matters: Social interaction more precisely describes contact among students.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: working career Suggested revision: careers Why it matters: Career already refers to working life, making working redundant.
- 9. Use concise connection Original: connected Suggested revision: related Why it matters: Related to expresses the link more naturally and concisely.
- 10. Fix the collocation Original: cut social relations Suggested revision: reduce social interaction Why it matters: Reduce social interaction is the natural collocation for diminished student contact.
- 11. Keep tense consistent Original: affected Suggested revision: affects Why it matters: The present tense matches the paragraph’s general claim about online courses.
- 12. Fix clause structure Original: because, by having less contact with each other, Suggested revision: because they had less contact with one another, Why it matters: The finite clause gives because a clear subject and verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- especially what concerns university life especially with regard to university life
- through the digital platform via digital platforms
- cannot be minimally compared to cannot be considered comparable to
- the previous standard the traditional model
- on the verge of exploding becoming acute
- My viewpoint matches this perspective I share this view
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and organises two relevant disadvantages of distance learning into a readily followed argument. Its main limitation is imprecise vocabulary: frequent unnatural collocations obscure several claims and make the supporting examples less convincing, while some chronology is also unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to express each cause-and-effect link in natural, exact language and ensure that dates and comparisons support the intended point.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees with the proposition and develops two relevant reasons concerning learning and social interaction.
Make the evidence more credible and explain exactly how each example proves that online courses are inferior.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but some referencing and chronological links are confusing.
Clarify the timeline in the first example and replace vague links such as 'connected to the previous one' with explicit relationships.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common combinations such as 'reduce social interaction,' 'academic performance,' and 'deliver a course' over less secure formal wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex sentences with generally sound control, despite occasional awkward constructions and punctuation choices.
Proofread complex clauses for natural preposition use, clear pronoun reference, and unnecessary comma separation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as well as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.