Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Overpopulation is indeed a growing concern in the developing world, causing many of the planet's environmental problems. Although an increasing population does have a negative impact on the environment to an extent, the greatest problem is in fact caused by the way in which humans choose to live their lives. In the following essay, both these ideas will be discussed. Overpopulation does have a serious impact on the world's environment for several reasons. An increase in population means more pollution, caused by more cars on the road, more factories, more farming and more household chemicals. Pollution is a significant environmental issue and it can have a serious effect on human and animal health. Overpopulation also means that natural resources are decreasing more rapidly. The modern world is consuming more than it can produce. People are continuously buying more products and building more houses. Fresh water, oil and natural gas are just some of the resources which are in demand. Perhaps overpopulation would not be an issue, however, if society changed the way in which it lived. For example, in order to help these environmental problems, people could try to save natural resources by using less water or by consuming fewer products. They could also try to reuse or recycle more. Pollution could also be kept to a minimum if people only bought organic food or tried to use their cars less. In summary, although overpopulation is a significant problem when considering the environment, it would be less of an issue if people made certain changes to their daily lifestyle.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrase Original: an Suggested revision: some Why it matters: ‘To some extent’ is the conventional expression for a limited degree.
- 2. Make wording concise Original: way in which humans choose to live their lives Suggested revision: resource-intensive way people live Why it matters: This phrase expresses the same idea more concisely and specifically.
- 3. Clarify causal wording Original: means more pollution, caused by Suggested revision: can cause more pollution through Why it matters: The revision avoids repetition and presents the causal relationship more precisely.
- 4. Use accurate collocation Original: natural resources are decreasing Suggested revision: supplies of natural resources are declining Why it matters: Resource supplies can decline, whereas the resources themselves do not naturally ‘decrease’ in this construction.
- 5. Choose precise adverb Original: continuously Suggested revision: continually Why it matters: ‘Continually’ more accurately describes an action that is repeatedly occurring.
- 6. Tighten expression Original: resources which are in demand Suggested revision: resources in high demand Why it matters: The revised phrase is more concise and idiomatic.
- 7. Fix verb collocation Original: help Suggested revision: address Why it matters: Problems are ‘addressed’ or ‘solved’; the verb ‘help’ does not collocate naturally with ‘problems.’
- 8. Streamline parallel phrasing Original: by using less water or by consuming fewer products Suggested revision: by using less water or consuming fewer products Why it matters: A single ‘by’ can govern both parallel gerund phrases more smoothly.
- 9. Avoid redundancy Original: lifestyle Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: ‘Lifestyle’ already refers to a way of living, so ‘daily lives’ is more natural here.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: In the following essay, both these ideas will be discussed. Suggested revision: Both population growth and consumption patterns contribute to environmental damage. Why it matters: A direct link between the two ideas provides clearer progression than generic essay signposting.
Suggested Rewrites
- an some
- way in which humans choose to live their lives resource-intensive way people live
- means more pollution, caused by can cause more pollution through
- natural resources are decreasing supplies of natural resources are declining
- continuously continually
- resources which are in demand resources in high demand
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, nuanced position and develops it through relevant discussion of pollution, resource consumption, and individual behaviour, supported by fluent and accurate language. Its main limitation is that it does not directly compare overpopulation with other environmental problems enough to prove the claim about what is most serious. The highest priority is to sharpen that comparison and support the alternative cause with more precise evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with a clear position and relevant developed ideas, though the central comparison remains somewhat indirect.
Compare overpopulation explicitly with at least one other major environmental cause and explain why lifestyle is the more decisive factor.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from population-related harm to behavioural causes and solutions, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Make the transition between population pressure and consumption patterns more explicit so the causal distinction is unmistakable.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a broad and precise environmental vocabulary with natural phrasing and very few awkward choices.
Replace broad expressions such as 'help these environmental problems' with more exact verbs such as 'mitigate' or 'reduce'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple sentence forms are varied, accurate, and consistently easy to follow.
Preserve this grammatical control while using concise comparative structures to express the central evaluation more directly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.