Compared to previous generations, more people are travelling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Sample Response
It is an irrefutable fact that the majority of individuals are travelling to different countries for vacations in this contemporary epoch. From my perspective, I believe that it is a constructive movement. This treatise will elucidate the numerous aspects behind this massive transition and my optimistic certitude that it is a noteworthy change with credible illustrations.
Scrutinizing the given assertion and elaborating further, nowadays, people prefer to visit foreign nations for holidays, and this trend is increasing swiftly. The first and foremost reason behind this change is that the public desire to explore new destinations in every nook and corner of the world. They wish to travel to as many countries as possible and want to post regarding these destinations on the social media applications such as Instagram and Facebook. Subsequently, taking long trips is a remarkable way to relieve stress. Moreover, some adventurous sports prevail merely in a few locations, and they are ready to fly miles to experience such activities. To exemplify, skydiving is available in UAE and does not exist in other Asian nations. Consequently, they visit Dubai to share this adventure. Hence, the public is highly fascinated with visiting international locations.
Probing ahead with the pros, the economy of the country is rising enormously because of the growth in the tourism industry. For instance, the Maldives is prominent for its exotic beaches and breathtaking spots. The majority of the population who stay here are tourists. As a result, the overall economy of Maldives is completely dependent on tourists. Similarly, the livelihood of local people is substantially improved. The indigenous craftsmen produce souvenirs, and a plethora of travellers purchase these products as a token of remembrance of that place. With an increase in visitor population, these regional dwellers live self-sufficient life and face minimal monetary crises. Thus, the tourism industry is fruitful not only for the government but also for the residents.
Taking everything into consideration, the tourism industry is evolving massively, with a myriad of individuals taking trips throughout the globe to post snaps on the internet, relax and face new adventures. Additionally, it is beneficial for the authorities in terms of financial stability and local dwellers whose life depends on visitors.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid absolute claim Original: irrefutable fact Suggested revision: clear trend Why it matters: The revision presents the observed pattern without an unnecessarily absolute claim.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: majority of individuals Suggested revision: many people Why it matters: The simpler phrase conveys the intended general group more naturally.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: contemporary epoch Suggested revision: modern era Why it matters: “Modern era” is a natural formal expression for the present period.
- 4. Use task terminology Original: constructive movement Suggested revision: positive trend Why it matters: “Positive trend” accurately expresses the writer's evaluation of the change.
- 5. Use appropriate genre Original: treatise Suggested revision: essay Why it matters: “Essay” is the appropriate term for this response, while “treatise” overstates its scope.
- 6. Clarify causal focus Original: numerous aspects behind Suggested revision: main reasons for Why it matters: The revision clearly signals that the essay will explain causes.
- 7. Use precise reference Original: massive transition Suggested revision: trend Why it matters: “Trend” accurately refers to the increase in overseas holidays without exaggeration.
- 8. Use natural noun Original: optimistic certitude Suggested revision: view Why it matters: “Optimistic certitude” is an unnatural way to refer to the writer's opinion.
- 9. Use clear essay term Original: credible illustrations Suggested revision: relevant examples Why it matters: “Relevant examples” states the intended support directly and naturally.
- 10. Use direct transition Original: Scrutinizing the given assertion and elaborating further Suggested revision: To explain this trend Why it matters: The shorter transition states the paragraph's purpose clearly.
- 11. Fix subject agreement Original: the public desire Suggested revision: people desire Why it matters: The plural subject “people” pairs naturally with the base verb “desire.”
- 12. Use natural platform term Original: on the social media applications Suggested revision: on social media platforms Why it matters: The revision uses the standard expression and removes the unnecessary article.
Suggested Rewrites
- irrefutable fact clear trend
- majority of individuals many people
- contemporary epoch modern era
- constructive movement positive trend
- treatise essay
- numerous aspects behind main reasons for
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both questions directly, sustains a positive view, and develops its reasons and economic benefits through relevant examples. Its organisation is clear, but the language is repeatedly over-elaborate, and several ambitious expressions are unnatural or imprecise, which weakens an otherwise persuasive argument. The highest-priority improvement is to favour concise, idiomatic vocabulary and verify that examples and claims are stated with precise, credible wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are addressed with a clear position, developed reasons, and relevant illustrations, although a few claims are broad or overstated.
Qualify sweeping claims and explain more precisely how each example proves the stated reason or benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the response clear progression, and ideas within each paragraph are logically sequenced despite some formulaic transitions.
Replace elaborate transition phrases with simpler links that express the exact relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary is attempted successfully in places, but overstatement and several unnatural collocations reduce precision and flexibility.
Choose restrained, idiomatic terms and check collocations instead of relying on ornate synonyms for common ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally clear control, though recurring article, agreement, and noun-phrase errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for articles, determiner use, and agreement, especially around collective nouns and singular countable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Compared to previous generations, more people are travelling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.