In some cities, the numbers of tourists seem to be overwhelming. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this on individuals and society?
Sample Response
With the rise of cheaper airlines and with technology and affluence allowing people to travel more easily, tourism is an industry that has experienced a significant increase. This caused the numbers of tourists in some popular cities to become greater than desirable and created some effects on both individuals and society.
People feed on the positive experiences of others, and vivid images on social media, shared by happy holiday-makers, attract more and more visitors to iconic cities. This creates a snowball effect where increasing numbers of people cause an even bigger influx of tourism by sharing their experiences online. Affordable airfares and modern websites that make finding accommodation easier also play a significant role in making certain cities extremely attractive to tourists.
One positive effect of this phenomenon for both individuals and society is that it is an indicator that people are travelling to different countries. Travel is a great way to broaden the mind and develop more understanding and acceptance of other cultures and beliefs. Individuals will become more tolerant and society should be more integrated and peaceful. Another positive effect is that jobs and businesses are created and supported by the tourism industry, thus generating taxes to help support government infrastructures.
There are negative effects though, especially for the residents of the cities with high numbers of tourists. It is well known that excessive tourism dilutes the authentic culture of the destination, the prices go up and the quality of products and services goes down. The historic centres of too many popular cities now seem to only feature the same chain stores and services, and food tends to become more internationalised rather than offering the authentic food of the country and region. The centres of very busy tourist towns become overly geared towards providing accommodation for rent, whether it is hotels, hostels or private apartments. This reduces the amount of housing for locals, as well as driving up rental and purchase prices.
To sum up, tourism has many positive effects, but when the numbers of tourists get so high, it can spoil the authenticity of a destination, which is negative for local and visiting individuals and society as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise wording Original: People feed on the positive experiences of others Suggested revision: People are influenced by the positive experiences of others Why it matters: The revision expresses the social influence more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Name what increases Original: tourism Suggested revision: tourists Why it matters: An influx refers to arriving people, whereas tourism is the broader activity.
- 3. Reduce wordiness Original: an indicator that people are travelling to different countries Suggested revision: evidence that people are travelling internationally Why it matters: The revision retains the claim while stating it more concisely.
- 4. Add the comparative noun phrase Original: develop more understanding Suggested revision: develop a greater understanding Why it matters: Understanding needs an article in this countable construction, and greater forms the natural comparison.
- 5. Match the predicted effect Original: society should be more integrated Suggested revision: society can become more integrated Why it matters: Can become expresses a possible result consistently with the preceding prediction.
- 6. Use the uncountable noun Original: government infrastructures Suggested revision: public infrastructure Why it matters: Infrastructure is normally uncountable, and public accurately identifies the facilities supported by taxes.
- 7. Improve the transition Original: There are negative effects though Suggested revision: There are negative effects, however Why it matters: The revision marks the contrast more clearly and punctuates the linking adverb correctly.
- 8. Fix the modifier Original: too many popular cities Suggested revision: many popular cities Why it matters: Too many incorrectly suggests that the number of cities, rather than their tourists, is excessive.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: authentic food of the country and region Suggested revision: authentic national and regional cuisine Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more naturally and concisely.
- 10. Clarify the examples Original: whether it is hotels, hostels or private apartments Suggested revision: including hotels, hostels, or private apartments Why it matters: Including introduces the plural accommodation examples without the awkward singular agreement.
- 11. Use direct group nouns Original: local and visiting individuals Suggested revision: residents and visitors Why it matters: These nouns identify the two affected groups directly and concisely.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This caused the numbers of tourists in some popular cities to become greater than desirable and created some effects on both individuals and society. Suggested revision: This has caused the number of tourists in some popular cities to rise above desirable levels and has affected both individuals and society. Why it matters: The rewrite maintains the present time frame, corrects number, and replaces two awkward verb phrases.
Suggested Rewrites
- People feed on the positive experiences of others People are influenced by the positive experiences of others
- tourism tourists
- an indicator that people are travelling to different countries evidence that people are travelling internationally
- develop more understanding develop a greater understanding
- society should be more integrated society can become more integrated
- government infrastructures public infrastructure
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses the causes and effects of excessive tourism through a clear progression of well-developed, relevant ideas, and its strongest feature is the precise explanation of impacts on residents, culture, housing, and the economy. Minor tense, punctuation, and collocation lapses slightly reduce polish. Prioritise a final edit for grammatical consistency and sharper phrasing in the few less precise claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with well-developed explanations of multiple causes and varied effects on individuals and society.
Refine the few broad claims, particularly about social integration, by adding more precise qualification or support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, effectively paragraphled, and cohesive without excessive or mechanical linking.
Make the transition from positive to negative effects slightly more explicit to sharpen the overall argumentative progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and generally precise, with natural topic-specific language and only occasional imprecise collocation.
Replace less natural phrases such as “government infrastructures” and refine vague wording such as “an indicator that people are travelling.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor tense and punctuation lapses that do not impede meaning.
Check tense consistency in the introduction and avoid comma splices when listing several consequences in one sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some cities, the numbers of tourists seem to be overwhelming. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this on individuals and society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.