Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
People have different views about the teaching of national versus global literature and history in schools. Personally, I support the idea that children should study first and foremost the great books and historical events of their own countries.
There are several reasons why I believe that schools should focus on teaching national literature and history. Firstly, children enjoy learning about where they live, and by studying the ideas, culture and history of their own countries they begin to develop a sense of identity. At the same time, this approach is appealing to parents, who studied the same books and historical events and can therefore help their children with school work. English children, for example, read Shakespeare and learn about the Battle of Hastings just as their parents did, and there is educational continuity across the generations. Finally, an emphasis on national literature and history gives educators a narrower teaching scope, making curriculum design an easier task.
By contrast, the study of global events and foreign novels could cause unnecessary difficulty and confusion for school pupils. For example, I do not see the point in presenting Russian or Chinese history to a British child who has not yet studied the history of his or her own country in detail. Surely the child would be more able to comprehend historical events that took place in London than those that happened in Moscow or Beijing. Similarly, any exposure to international literature is likely to require the teaching of a foreign language or the use of translations. Young people at primary or secondary school age are simply not ready for such complications.
In conclusion, I would argue that it is undesirable for schools to cover aspects of foreign history and literature; they should ground their pupils in the local culture instead.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the comparison Original: the teaching of national versus global literature and history Suggested revision: whether national or global literature and history should be taught Why it matters: This wording makes the contrast between the two curriculum options more explicit.
- 2. Use precise terminology Original: first and foremost the great books Suggested revision: first and foremost the major literary works Why it matters: This phrase refers more precisely to the literature named in the task.
- 3. Specify the reference Original: where they live Suggested revision: their own country Why it matters: The replacement identifies the geographical reference more precisely.
- 4. Align the list Original: ideas Suggested revision: literature Why it matters: Literature is the relevant school subject here, whereas ideas is too broad.
- 5. Show addition clearly Original: At the same time Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: The next sentence adds a separate reason rather than describing a simultaneous event.
- 6. Use academic phrasing Original: read Shakespeare Suggested revision: study Shakespeare’s works Why it matters: This wording describes classroom engagement with an author more precisely.
- 7. Avoid negative ambiguity Original: gives educators a narrower teaching scope Suggested revision: gives educators a more focused teaching scope Why it matters: More focused conveys manageability without suggesting an unnecessarily restricted curriculum.
- 8. Make wording concise Original: making curriculum design an easier task Suggested revision: making curriculum design easier Why it matters: The shorter form expresses the same point more directly.
- 9. Use parallel categories Original: the study of global events and foreign novels Suggested revision: the study of foreign history and literature Why it matters: The replacement uses categories that correspond directly and consistently to the task.
- 10. Improve the collocation Original: presenting Suggested revision: teaching Why it matters: Teach is the natural verb for a school subject in this context.
- 11. Use comparative form Original: more Suggested revision: better Why it matters: Better able is the standard comparative construction.
- 12. Clarify the culture Original: the local culture instead Suggested revision: their national culture instead Why it matters: The possessive reference and national identify the intended culture more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- the teaching of national versus global literature and history whether national or global literature and history should be taught
- first and foremost the great books first and foremost the major literary works
- where they live their own country
- ideas literature
- At the same time Moreover
- read Shakespeare study Shakespeare’s works
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response is exceptionally clear and persuasive, with a consistent position supported by specific, logically extended reasons and examples. Its main limitation is that a few claims about children's readiness for international material are asserted rather broadly; the highest-priority refinement is to qualify these claims or acknowledge circumstances in which foreign literature and history could still be introduced effectively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the question through a clear, sustained position and thoroughly developed supporting reasons.
Qualify the broad claim that younger learners are generally unready for international material to make the argument even more nuanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress seamlessly through a purposeful introduction, well-focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Maintain this strong progression while making the contrast between national priority and complete exclusion slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys distinctions and examples naturally throughout the response.
Refine broad expressions such as 'such complications' by naming the exact linguistic or conceptual challenge intended.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used flexibly and with consistently accurate control.
Continue varying sentence emphasis while preserving the same high level of grammatical accuracy and clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.