Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 8.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The debate over whether it is better to own or rent the property in which one lives is one that has strong supporters on each side. There are persuasive arguments for both points of view.
One of the main advantages of renting a property is flexibility. Usually, a tenant only has to give a month’s notice before movingchanging where he or she lives. If a property is owned and a change is needed, the property must be put onto the market and it is frequently a long and stressful process to get a sale completed. Sometimes, an unfavourable time of yearthe wrong time of year or a bad market can mean that a sale is not possible. Another advantage of renting is that a large amount of a family’s capital is not tied up in the property. A property can costProperty can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and often a lot more. If one rents, this money can be spent on other things to help improve the family’s quality of life. If the property is financed with a mortgageon a mortgage, then the deposit, also often very large, is tied up in the property and the pressure of having to make substantial payments every month can cause a lot of stress.
Owning a property does have various advantages, though. Even though people usually have to service a mortgage every month with payments, this money is then built up with the property. WhenWith renting, the money is lost to the landlord, but at the end of the mortgage termthe end of the term of the mortgage, the whole property is owned by the family. This makes the process of living in a property a type of investment. In addition, the property’s value often increases over timegoes up after time, frequently creating a substantial profit. Owning the property where one lives can also create a sense of well-being and self-actualisation.
The decision whetherThe decision to whether one rents or owns the property in which one lives really boils down to individual preference. My opinion is that it is far preferablemuch more preferable to own a property, mainly because it creates a valuable asset for the family.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is highly effective in explaining both preferences through detailed, logically connected financial and practical reasoning, and it ends with an unambiguous personal view. Its main limitation is a small amount of repetition and occasional imprecise phrasing in otherwise fluent prose. The highest-priority refinement is to state the personal position earlier and streamline repeated mortgage-related wording so the argument is even more controlled and concise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully explored with well-developed reasons, and the writer's own opinion is clear and relevant.
Signal the preferred view in the introduction so the position is explicit from the outset as well as in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is skilfully organised, with clear paragraph purposes and smooth logical progression throughout.
Condense repeated discussion of mortgage payments and tied-up capital to make the progression even more economical.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary conveys practical and financial ideas effectively, with only rare awkward combinations.
Replace phrases such as after time and much more preferable with more idiomatic and exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used with strong control and only isolated minor errors.
Correct the few awkward constructions, especially the decision to whether, while preserving the existing sentence variety.