Some people believe that children should be allowed to watch whatever they want on television and the internet, while others think parents should strictly control what their children are exposed to. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The debate over children's access to digital content has intensified in our increasingly connected world. While some advocate for unrestricted access, claiming it fosters independence, others insist on strict parental oversight to protect young minds. I partially agree with both perspectives, believing that a balanced approach combining reasonable supervision with age-appropriate freedom is most beneficial.
Those supporting unrestricted access argue that exposure to diverse content develops critical thinking skills and media literacy. They suggest that children naturally gravitate toward age-appropriate material when given freedom, and learning to navigate digital spaces independently prepares them for adulthood in a technology-driven society. Additionally, proponents contend that excessive restrictions may simply drive children to access prohibited content secretly, potentially in less safe environments. Research from digital education specialists indicates that children who develop independent media selection skills early often demonstrate better self-regulation with technology as teenagers.
Conversely, advocates for strict parental control highlight the genuine risks of unrestricted access. Young children lack the cognitive development to distinguish between appropriate and harmful content, potentially exposing them to violence, explicit material, or predatory individuals. Studies by child psychologists have linked early exposure to violent media with increased aggression and desensitization. Furthermore, excessive screen time without parental guidance can displace important developmental activities like physical play, face-to-face social interaction, and academic pursuits.
I believe the most effective approach combines elements from both perspectives, adapting as children mature. For younger children, active parental oversight is essential, utilizing child-friendly platforms and age-appropriate content filters. However, this supervision should gradually transition toward guided independence as children demonstrate responsibility. Parents should engage in ongoing conversations about digital citizenship, critical media evaluation, and online safety rather than simply imposing restrictions. For example, co-viewing programs with younger children and discussing content critically, then gradually allowing more autonomy with check-ins for teenagers represents an evolving approach that respects development.
In conclusion, while I acknowledge valid concerns from both perspectives, I believe neither complete freedom nor rigid control serves children's best interests. A thoughtful progression from guided exploration to monitored independence adjusted to each child's maturity and circumstances—best prepares young people for our digital world while protecting their wellbeing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify pronoun reference Original: claiming it fosters independence Suggested revision: claiming that such access fosters independence Why it matters: Naming the referent of 'it' makes the clause more precise.
- 2. Complete parallel clause Original: , and learning to navigate digital spaces independently Suggested revision: , and that learning to navigate digital spaces independently Why it matters: Adding 'that' makes the two objects of 'suggest' grammatically parallel.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: in less safe environments Suggested revision: in riskier environments Why it matters: 'Riskier' expresses the comparative danger more directly.
- 4. Choose accurate preposition Original: from Suggested revision: by Why it matters: Use 'by' to identify the people who conducted the research.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: development Suggested revision: maturity Why it matters: 'Cognitive maturity' fits the intended ability to judge content more naturally.
- 6. Fix dangling modifier Original: , potentially exposing them Suggested revision: ; unrestricted access may expose them Why it matters: The original participial phrase incorrectly suggests that the children's lack itself performs the exposing.
- 7. Use formal example marker Original: activities like physical play Suggested revision: activities such as physical play Why it matters: 'Such as' introduces examples more precisely in formal writing.
- 8. Fix modifier attachment Original: is essential, utilizing Suggested revision: is essential and should include Why it matters: The original wording makes 'oversight' appear to be the agent using the platforms and filters.
- 9. Refine transition phrase Original: toward Suggested revision: to Why it matters: 'Transition to' is the more direct collocation for reaching a new stage.
- 10. Remove stray dash Original: circumstances—best prepares Suggested revision: circumstances best prepares Why it matters: The dash incorrectly separates the subject phrase from its verb.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, co-viewing programs with younger children and discussing content critically, then gradually allowing more autonomy with check-ins for teenagers represents an evolving approach that respects development. Suggested revision: For example, an evolving approach could involve co-viewing programs with younger children, discussing the content critically, and gradually allowing teenagers more autonomy with check-ins. Why it matters: This rewrite fixes subject-verb agreement and makes the three actions parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- claiming it fosters independence claiming that such access fosters independence
- , and learning to navigate digital spaces independently , and that learning to navigate digital spaces independently
- in less safe environments in riskier environments
- from by
- development maturity
- , potentially exposing them ; unrestricted access may expose them
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, balanced position and develops both perspectives with relevant explanations and a practical age-based solution. Its main limitation is that some support relies on broad, unverified research claims and the discussion occasionally becomes more expansive than necessary; prioritise sharper, more specific evidence and slightly tighter phrasing to make the argument more authoritative and concise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed, and the nuanced position is consistently developed with relevant reasoning and examples.
Replace broad references to research with more specific, carefully qualified support to strengthen credibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Tighten a few lengthy explanations so each paragraph advances the argument with maximum economy.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas fluently, with consistently appropriate word choice.
Refine occasional stock academic phrases and broad claims to make the language more distinctive and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Proofread punctuation around the final complex sentence to ensure every clause is joined cleanly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children should be allowed to watch whatever they want on television and the internet, while others think parents should strictly control what their children are exposed to. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.