In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly, parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 years old children?
Sample Response
It is widely believed that adolescentsgrown-up children should be allowedgranted to take certain responsibilitiessome particular responsibilities for making their own decisions at the age of sixteen. I believeI am on the belief that parents still have authority to guidehave authorities on guiding their children at that time provided that their intervention is not excessiveas long as it is not too much intervening. I will outline two measures that parents can takemeasures that can be done by parents to guide their childrenfor guiding their children. First of all, the most important area is safety. Children tend to do something based on what they like but are careless about the risksbut careless on its risks. Likewise, children are so curious that they wantmore curious than adults that they want to try anything. For instance, in some developing countries like Indonesia, especially in villagesespecially in a village, many adolescents ride a motorcycle before they are 15 years old and they do not have a driving licencedo not require a driving license. Commonly, they drive fast and do not wear a helmet. This issue needs parents’ attention. Therefore, parents should give advice and necessary information about the appropriate age for them to ridesuitable time for them for riding a vehicle. Another measure is financial management. In some regions, most teenagers depend on their parents for money. It is my firm belief that guiding them on how to manage money from athe young age will be valuable for their future. In addition, children could make better decisionsmake a better decision about how to spend their moneyon what their money should be spent on. For example, parents should give a fixedparticular amount of money regularly. Parents should commit to ensuring thatThey have to commit that there will be no extra funding even when money is tighteven though it is hard up. Therefore, children's financial awareness will increasechildren’s awareness will go up and they will be more likely to get a part-time jobthe probability of getting a part-time job is highly likely to happen.
Proper guidance from parents can build a better future for the children. Teenagers often lack the experience to make important decisionslack the experience for taking important decisions and the parents should always be friendly and supportive while guiding their children.
In short, whilst young people are granted particular privileges at a certain age, parents still have authorities for controlling them but without too much intervening. Children still need guidance for their future wellbeing.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its practical focus on safety and financial management, supported by relevant examples of motorcycle use and controlled allowances. Its main limitation is that ‘not too much’ intervention is never defined clearly, and most development is compressed into one long paragraph with frequent language errors. The highest priority is to establish a specific principle for parental boundaries, then organise each intervention area in a separate, accurately written paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A moderate position is maintained and two relevant areas of intervention are developed, but the acceptable limit of parental control remains vague.
Define when parents should advise, set rules, or allow autonomy, and apply that principle explicitly to both safety and money management.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from safety to finances and the final position is easy to follow, but the oversized first paragraph and brief later paragraphs create poor balance.
Separate the introduction, safety discussion, financial guidance, and conclusion into four proportionate paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient range to discuss responsibility, safety, finance, and guidance, but repeated inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as ‘granted to take responsibilities’, ‘authorities on guiding’, ‘careless on risks’, and ‘too much intervening’ with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in verb patterns, articles, agreement, pronouns, and clause relationships remain noticeable.
Practise complete subject–verb structures and correct verb complements, especially ‘be allowed to’, ‘be careless about’, and ‘be concerned about’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly, parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 years old children?
Your response
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