Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?
Sample Response
DeleteAnswer: 50 min Children today experience an ever increasing amount of pressure from their parents to succeedpressure to succeed from their parents. It is only natural that a parent would want their child to succeed, especiallysucceed especially in today's rapidly evolving society. I believe that this phenomenon is a positive development because it promotes growth and encourages children to work hard for their future. FurthermoreOn the other hand, pressuring children early on will prepare them to face difficult challenges they may encounterprepare them in facing the difficult challenges they might be facing in their futurerespective careers. Learning how to work under pressure is paramount to success and is necessary for growth. When studying lobsters scientist found out that when they feel pressure their brain signals them that it is time for them to shed their shells and grow. Like lobsters, we humans also need to feel pressure in order to growfor us to grow because when we are stagnant and complacent we learn nothing. However, pressure is beneficial onlypressure is only effective when children learnwhen the child can learn how to cope with it. It is equally important for parents to create a healthy environment wherewherein their children can learn how to cope with stress. If a child is unable to cope with pressure it could be detrimental tofor theirhis/her development. Research suggests thatStudies have shown that alcoholism and drug abuse can result fromare results of ineffective coping. Children who are not taught how to cope with stress are prone to developingdevelop these problems in the future. Maintaining an open communicationopen line of communication is key to recognizingknowing when a child is having difficulty dealing with stress. In, with the competitive nature of today's society I believe that it is necessary to expose children to pressurebecause this prepares, for it prepares them to face the challenges of the modern world with confidence. However, parents must also be attentiveconsiderate and helpand should help their children cope with pressure by keeping communication openby maintaining open communication.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear positive position and offers relevant discussion of resilience, coping, and parental support. Its main limitation is that the reasons parents apply pressure receive little direct development, while the entire response is presented as one paragraph and contains recurrent grammatical and collocational slips. The highest-priority improvement is to organize separate paragraphs around each question and explain the parental motivations with a specific, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The evaluation of pressure as broadly positive is clear and supported, but the reasons for parental behaviour are only briefly addressed.
Give the first question a fully developed explanation of parental motives before evaluating the effects on children.
Coherence and Cohesion
The line of argument is generally traceable, but the absence of paragraphing and some inaccurate linking weaken the organization.
Divide the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for causes and evaluation, and a clearly signposted conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though several word combinations and expressions are imprecise or awkward.
Choose more natural collocations for coping, development, and preparation, and remove irrelevant source-like text from the opening.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful mix of simple and complex structures, but agreement, preposition, article, and sentence-construction errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate subject-verb agreement before adding further detail.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.