Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities, while others believe children should be free to do what they want in their free time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, children are way smarter than their parents because of the help of technology, so keeping an eye on children’s activities is difficult for the parents, and with this, the development of children impact somehow. So, the parent has to take care of their children with covered all aspects and still raise a good child. Further, I am going to explain both views.
Some thought that keeping an eye on children’s daily routine is good for them and for their parents, but nowadays they are smarter and have all the knowledge and all this knowledge available on the internet, so they learn a lot of new things over there. So, parents must take care of what they are watching on the internet and set a timetable for them to use it. Parents have knowledge about their friends and where they are going, so they do not worry about them.
Meanwhile, if some parents do not want to watch the children’s activities, then they must spend some time with them to get to know them better, and children also must share everything with the family to gain the trust of their parents. With this, parents allow them to freely do what they want to do without any restrictions. Nowadays, parents do not have much time for their children, but if they want their children to become good people, they must teach a good lesson in life and, with their children’s help, can become free.
In conclusion, both children and parents have to gain each other trust and not lie to each other and with this, lives become easy for both.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural agreement Original: the parent has Suggested revision: parents have Why it matters: The essay refers to parents generally, so the plural subject and verb are required.
- 2. Correct phrase structure Original: with covered all aspects Suggested revision: by considering all aspects Why it matters: By plus an -ing form correctly expresses the means of providing care.
- 3. Use natural wording Original: still raise a good child Suggested revision: thereby raise their children well Why it matters: The revision expresses successful upbringing naturally and maintains plural reference.
- 4. Use concise signposting Original: Further, I am going to explain Suggested revision: I will explain Why it matters: The shorter signpost states the essay's direction without an awkward connector.
- 5. Choose precise verb Original: take care of what they are watching Suggested revision: monitor what their children watch Why it matters: Monitor precisely expresses parental supervision of online content.
- 6. Clarify internet use Original: set a timetable for them to use it Suggested revision: set a timetable for their internet use Why it matters: The revision removes unclear pronouns and expresses the restriction concisely.
- 7. Clarify possession Original: have knowledge about their friends Suggested revision: should know who their children's friends are Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing possessive relationship and uses a natural verb pattern.
- 8. Clarify the result Original: so they do not worry about them Suggested revision: which can reduce their worries Why it matters: The revision removes the ambiguous they and links the result to parental knowledge.
- 9. Use precise supervision verb Original: watch the children’s activities Suggested revision: monitor their children’s activities Why it matters: Monitor is the natural verb for observing children's activities over time.
- 10. Place adverb correctly Original: children also must Suggested revision: children must also Why it matters: Also normally follows the modal verb in this structure.
- 11. Use measured wording Original: share everything with the family Suggested revision: communicate openly with their families Why it matters: The revision conveys the intended openness without the unnatural absolute phrase share everything.
- 12. Clarify consequence Original: With this, parents allow them Suggested revision: As a result, parents can allow them Why it matters: As a result makes the causal link clear, while can expresses the resulting possibility.
Suggested Rewrites
- the parent has parents have
- with covered all aspects by considering all aspects
- still raise a good child thereby raise their children well
- Further, I am going to explain I will explain
- take care of what they are watching monitor what their children watch
- set a timetable for them to use it set a timetable for their internet use
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is organised into clear stages and offers relevant practical ideas about online supervision, trust, and family communication. However, the two views are only partly distinguished and the writer’s own position remains vague, while frequent language errors reduce precision; the highest priority is to state a direct opinion and develop each side through a clear claim, explanation, and example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both supervision and freedom are addressed with relevant ideas, but development is limited and the conclusion does not clearly state which approach the writer supports.
Present an explicit opinion in the introduction and conclusion, then develop each view with a distinct reason and concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression through the two views, but repetitive connectors, long chains of ideas, and vague references weaken cohesion.
Use one controlling idea per paragraph and divide long linked sentences so the relationship between each claim and consequence is clear.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but repetition and frequent awkward expressions or inaccurate collocations restrict precision.
Expand the language for supervision, independence, and trust, and learn common collocations rather than relying repeatedly on children, parents, and so.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, verb forms, and sentence construction show limited grammatical control.
Practise accurate simple and compound sentences first, checking every clause for a clear subject, finite verb, agreement, and possessive form.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities, while others believe children should be free to do what they want in their free time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.