The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that parents should be made to undertake parenting courses in order to guarantee that their children develop well. Personally, I disagree with this idea and will outline the reasons below.
On the one hand, parenting courses could equip parents with necessary skills and knowledge to help them deal with raising their children. For example, many first-time parents can be overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for their new born infant. Without proper instruction, they do not know how to handle or care for their baby most effectively. Parenting courses could help parents to overcome these common problems. Similarly, many parents have a great deal of trouble dealing with troublesome teenagers who are misbehaving while going through adolescence. (1) Parenting courses could also help parents to better understand and deal with these issues.
However, while parenting courses could provide a lot of good skills and information to parents, many people would argue that parenting is an innate skill that every mother and father can naturally access once they have a child. (2) For example, many mothers instinctively know how to hold and care for their child as soon as it is born. In addition, many people have their own ideas about what good parenting involves due to their own upbringing, and cultural influences. Lastly, many people would consider it ridiculous that people should be forced to attend parenting courses as people should be free to make their own decisions. (3)
In conclusion, although parenting courses could provide some beneficial outcomes for both parents and children, I believe that it should be up to the parents to decide whether or not they wish to participate in such courses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: with necessary skills and knowledge Suggested revision: with the necessary skills and knowledge Why it matters: The specific skills and knowledge supplied by the courses require the definite article here.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: deal with raising their children Suggested revision: manage the challenges of raising their children Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the intended parenting difficulty more naturally.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: handle or care for their baby Suggested revision: care for their baby Why it matters: Handle and care for overlap here, so the shorter phrase is more precise.
- 4. Avoid word repetition Original: trouble dealing with troublesome teenagers Suggested revision: difficulty managing troublesome teenagers Why it matters: This removes the distracting repetition of trouble and troublesome.
- 5. Delete stray marker Original: (1) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained numbered marker interrupts the paragraph's flow.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: a lot of good skills and information Suggested revision: useful skills and information Why it matters: Useful is more concise and suitably formal than a lot of good.
- 7. Correct verb choice Original: can naturally access Suggested revision: naturally develops Why it matters: A person develops a skill rather than accesses it in this context.
- 8. Delete stray marker Original: (2) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained numbered marker disrupts the connection between the claim and example.
- 9. Remove unnecessary comma Original: upbringing, and cultural influences Suggested revision: upbringing and cultural influences Why it matters: A comma should not separate the two items joined by and in this pair.
- 10. Use measured wording Original: consider it ridiculous that people should be forced Suggested revision: consider it unreasonable to force people Why it matters: This revision preserves the claim while using a more formal and direct expression.
- 11. Delete stray marker Original: (3) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained numbered marker is not part of the argument and should be removed.
- 12. Use measured claim Original: guarantee that their children develop well Suggested revision: support their children’s healthy development Why it matters: Support expresses the likely contribution of a course more precisely than the absolute verb guarantee.
Suggested Rewrites
- with necessary skills and knowledge with the necessary skills and knowledge
- deal with raising their children manage the challenges of raising their children
- handle or care for their baby care for their baby
- trouble dealing with troublesome teenagers difficulty managing troublesome teenagers
- (1) Delete
- a lot of good skills and information useful skills and information
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear opposition to compulsory parenting courses and is strongest when acknowledging benefits before presenting reasons for parental choice. Its main limitation is that the case against the claim is only partly developed, since the discussion of innate ability and freedom does not fully establish why compulsory courses are not the best way to support children. Prioritise deeper comparison with alternative forms of parenting support and explain their benefits for child development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition with a clear position and relevant examples, although the reasons against compulsory courses are less fully developed than the acknowledged benefits.
Develop the disagreement by comparing compulsory courses with a more effective alternative and linking that comparison directly to children's growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically organised into clear paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively through the concession and rebuttal.
Make the contrast between the benefits and objections more explicit so that each paragraph advances the central disagreement more decisively.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide range of topic vocabulary conveys ideas clearly, though repetition and phrases such as naturally access a skill reduce precision.
Replace repeated references to parents and courses with precise alternatives and check collocations for naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used with strong control, and the few minor slips do not impede meaning.
Proofread punctuation and agreement carefully to make the otherwise accurate sentence control more consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.