Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some traditional parents argue that they should be allowed to punish their children physically. I am in strong disagreement with this contention despite the legitimacy of parental rights.
Those in favor of parents being permitted to punish their children physically point out this is an historically ingrained privilege. For thousands of years, parents have had the ability to raise their children according to their own beliefs and values. This includes choices related to culture, religion, diet, and lifestyle. Physical punishment can be theoretically added to this list as it has a massive impact on a child’s psychology and future identity. The support for this practice is that many successful individuals have anecdotally expressed gratitude to parents who hit them when they were younger, believing that it instilled a sense of discipline in them.
However, research has shown that the positive impact in select cases of corporal punishment is greatly outweighed by emotional and psychological abuse. The vast majority of children who were physically abused develop either temporary or lasting side-effects. The most common one is that children are not as confident and willing to express themselves because they consistently fear punishment from a loved one. As they get older, this can become a barrier both for interpersonal relationships and their public persona. Many children who have only learned discipline through physical punishment end up hitting their own children and this can create an ongoing cycle of abuse.
In conclusion, although parents should have the right to raise their children as they see fit, this prerogative must be limited in the case of physical abuse. In most nations, there are already laws banning corporal punishment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct article Original: an Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Because the h in “historically” is pronounced, the correct article is “a.”
- 2. Add clause marker Original: point out this is Suggested revision: point out that this is Why it matters: Adding “that” clearly introduces the clause functioning as the object of “point out.”
- 3. Place adverb naturally Original: can be theoretically added Suggested revision: can theoretically be added Why it matters: Placing the adverb after the modal gives the verb phrase a more natural order.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: The support for this practice Suggested revision: Support for this practice Why it matters: “Support” is used as an uncountable general noun here and does not need “the.”
- 5. Keep general tense Original: were Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The present tense is required for this general claim and agrees with “develop.”
- 6. Use parallel terms Original: temporary or lasting side-effects Suggested revision: short-term or long-lasting side effects Why it matters: The parallel modifiers contrast the two durations clearly, and “side effects” is normally unhyphenated as a noun.
- 7. Clarify reference Original: one Suggested revision: effect Why it matters: Naming the referent directly is clearer than using the vague substitute “one.”
- 8. Make comparison parallel Original: not as confident and willing Suggested revision: less confident and less willing Why it matters: Repeating the comparative marker makes both coordinated adjectives apply clearly.
- 9. Correct preposition order Original: a barrier both for Suggested revision: a barrier to both Why it matters: The standard collocation is “a barrier to,” with “both” placed before the paired items.
- 10. Match plural meaning Original: persona Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: “Public lives” matches the plural subject and the intended effect on social functioning more naturally.
- 11. Join clauses correctly Original: children and this can create Suggested revision: children, and this can create Why it matters: A comma is needed before “and” when it joins two independent clauses.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: However, research has shown that the positive impact in select cases of corporal punishment is greatly outweighed by emotional and psychological abuse. Suggested revision: However, research has shown that the emotional and psychological harm caused by corporal punishment greatly outweighs any positive effects observed in isolated cases. Why it matters: The rewrite makes the compared elements logically parallel by contrasting harm with positive effects.
Suggested Rewrites
- an a
- point out this is point out that this is
- can be theoretically added can theoretically be added
- The support for this practice Support for this practice
- were are
- temporary or lasting side-effects short-term or long-lasting side effects
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is strongest in its sustained, nuanced argument: it acknowledges parental-rights reasoning before clearly explaining why the harms of physical punishment outweigh it. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in otherwise sophisticated phrasing, especially where the relationship between punishment, abuse, and psychological effects becomes compressed. The highest-priority improvement is to refine these few awkward formulations so the reasoning remains consistently exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position, a credible opposing rationale, and a well-developed rebuttal focused on lasting harm.
Strengthen the argument further by qualifying broad research claims or illustrating them with more precisely framed evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, and cohesion supports a clear progression from the opposing case to the writer's rebuttal and conclusion.
Make the transition into the rebuttal slightly more explicit by directly contrasting its evidential basis with the anecdotal support presented earlier.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately sophisticated, with only occasional awkward combinations that do not impede meaning.
Refine phrases such as 'positive impact in select cases' and 'barrier ... for their public persona' to sound more natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses in phrasing and parallel construction.
Polish the few awkward constructions by checking preposition choice, parallelism, and adverb placement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.