Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parent’s changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?
Sample Response
There are many relations that humankind shares on this planet and the parent-child relationship is best among them. But, with changing lifestyles, this bond is getting affected day by day. Today, youngsters want more freedom and want to make their own decisions. So many are of the view that it is the prime duty of the guardians to support and help their young ones in this stage of life. This essay will discuss the role of parents and how the elders can reinforce their future.
There are many aesthetic reasons to support the viewpoint. The primary one is that the family connection has understanding which can make every life path more comfortable and easy to pass. In other words, parents are the ones who help in making the child know the harsh reality of life as they have experience and knowledge to share and advise. To cite an example, a child always looks up to his/her father to have inspiration in life. So being a parent, it is the duty to build trust and support. Thus, families need to provide space to the young ones by accepting their choices and options.
Moving ahead, the secondary reason is stressful responsibilities of life which make adulthood life harder to live and pursue. So, parents are the ones who can assist them emotionally and mentally. The birth givers can better comfort their juveniles and provide appropriate values and ethics to survive in this world. In short, though a child in the adult stage of life wants his freedom, parents can still aid the child with a needful set of attributes.
To conclude, although giving space to young adults is a new trend in the world, children always want their parents to help them in every sphere of life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: relations Suggested revision: relationships Why it matters: Relationships is the natural word for bonds between people.
- 2. Add missing determiner Original: is best among them Suggested revision: is one of the strongest among them Why it matters: The superlative claim needs a structure such as one of the strongest.
- 3. Improve transition Original: But, with changing lifestyles Suggested revision: However, as lifestyles change Why it matters: This transition expresses the contrast more smoothly and formally.
- 4. Use concise passive Original: getting Suggested revision: being Why it matters: Being affected is the more concise passive construction here.
- 5. Match adult context Original: youngsters Suggested revision: young adults Why it matters: Young adults precisely identifies the people discussed in the task.
- 6. Clarify subject Original: So many are Suggested revision: Many people are Why it matters: The revision supplies a clear subject instead of the vague opening So many.
- 7. Use task term Original: guardians Suggested revision: parents Why it matters: Parents is more precise because the response is specifically about parent-child relationships.
- 8. Use adult reference Original: help their young ones Suggested revision: help their adult children Why it matters: Adult children accurately reflects the age group in the question.
- 9. Correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At is the standard preposition used with stage of life.
- 10. Name parents directly Original: elders Suggested revision: parents Why it matters: Elders is broader and less precise than parents in this context.
- 11. Correct collocation Original: reinforce Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Support their future conveys the intended meaning with a natural collocation.
- 12. Correct word choice Original: aesthetic Suggested revision: compelling Why it matters: Aesthetic concerns beauty, whereas compelling describes persuasive reasons.
Suggested Rewrites
- relations relationships
- is best among them is one of the strongest among them
- But, with changing lifestyles However, as lifestyles change
- getting being
- youngsters young adults
- So many are Many people are
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a consistent view that parents should offer guidance, emotional support, and space for independent choices, and its ideas progress clearly across the essay. Its main limitation is that support remains broad and sometimes repetitive, with only a general example. The highest-priority improvement is to explain distinct parental roles through specific, realistic situations while using more natural and precise wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the question with a clear position and relevant roles for parents, though the supporting ideas and example remain general.
Develop each proposed role with a specific adult-life situation and explain how parental involvement should be limited or adapted.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although transitions such as announcing primary and secondary reasons feel mechanical.
Use more meaning-based links between ideas and make each paragraph's central claim distinct from the others.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range, but several choices such as "aesthetic reasons," "birth givers," and "needful set of attributes" are unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer accurate, idiomatic terms such as practical reasons, parents, and essential life skills instead of forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring awkward constructions and errors with articles, reference, and phrasing.
Improve control of noun phrases and subordinate clauses, especially when expressing general relationships and causes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parent’s changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.