People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays they lead a more independent life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that people at present need each otherpeople, in present time, need each other while others argue that people are no longer in need of anyone else. In my viewAs far as my opinion is concerned, I completely agree that people nowadays lead more independent liveshave a more independent life. This is because of the availability of both diverse jobs and technologyavailability of both the different jobs and the means of technology.
The first reason why people live independently at presentindependently, in our present time, is that they have many opportunities that meet their needsopportunities which are sufficient for their needs. That is to say, when someone is jobless, he has a chance to apply for a job that suits his qualifications. For example, my brother finished secondary schoolfinished his secondary school one year ago. He tried to find an appropriate job atin a company and he was accepted immediately. Therefore, he will not need someone else to depend onanother person to depend on since he has enough to meet his needswhat suffices his needs. Consequently, it can be said that the more jobs opportunities are available, the more independent people become.
The second reason people are more independentreason that makes people independent is technologyis the means of technology. It is taken for granted that technology improveseases and facilitates the lives of people. For instance, if a person intends to buy a new house and he is confused or indecisive about what to choose, he can searchconsult the internet instead of relying on other people. InThrough this way, he will find many options and sources of adviceabundant choices and consultations which will help him make the right choicehelp him in making his right choice. Hence, we can admittedly say that technology greatly contributes toin the Self- reliance of people.
In conclusion, it can be unanimously inferred that unlike people in the past, people in present time enjoy and lead a more independent life reasoning from the existence of both jobs opportunities and means of technology.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant reasons through a logical four-paragraph structure and concrete examples. Its main limitation is that the reasoning is sometimes simplistic and is expressed through noticeably awkward or overly formal phrasing, which reduces precision. The highest priority is to deepen the comparison with the past while replacing forced expressions with accurate, natural academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, sustains a clear position, and extends two relevant reasons with examples.
Explain more precisely how employment and technology reduce dependence compared with the past, avoiding assumptions that one example proves the wider claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised, and each paragraph has a clear central purpose with generally effective progression.
Reduce formulaic linking phrases and make the logical connections within examples more explicit and natural.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and over-formal choices limit precision.
Replace expressions such as means of technology, jobs opportunities, and unanimously inferred with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful variety of complex sentences is mostly clear, though recurring article, preposition, noun-form, and punctuation errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for articles, plural noun forms, prepositions, and unnecessary commas around short adverbial phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays they lead a more independent life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.