Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors, and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? Those criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?
Sample Response
It is commonly thought by some that hospital staff and professors are paid higher than movie casters and makers or some CEOs earn extravagantly hefty amounts for their works. I believe people should earn according to their work. Firstly, this essay shall discuss how some people ridiculously earn myriad income through their business and benefits them to utilize all the necessary luxury things, secondly, it would more stress on people who are the backbone of our societies like tutors and doctors should earn a decent amount of money.
Earning money through any legal activities would always give better returns and luxury to enjoy life with all the tranquility. Moreover, the pay scale shouldn’t be fixed for certain categories as they use their brain and invested a lot of money before reaching the pinnacle. For instance, Mr. Mukesh Ambani is an Indian business tycoon who worked extremely hard during his nascent days of life then he has a chance to create unlimited wealth as of now, so there shouldn’t be any kind of restriction from any higher authority. Thus, people should earn as much as can by doing any kind of good work.
Professions of teachers, doctors, and nurses are always under the scanner as they give their best to deliver in either field but still not earning enough as compare to some film stars. Those people who almost sacrifice a lot of things to save someone’s life or make someone’s life, who should be our real hero and admire them properly. For example, during the global pandemic novel Corona satiation only nurses, doctors and teachers help us to move swiftly instead of those movie stars. Therefore, people should be recognized and paid for their work. IELTSFever Pinterest
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct comparison form Original: higher Suggested revision: more Why it matters: Use 'more' rather than 'higher' to compare how much people are paid.
- 2. Use accurate job terms Original: movie casters and makers Suggested revision: film actors and producers Why it matters: 'Casters and makers' does not clearly identify the film-industry workers being compared.
- 3. Remove awkward intensifiers Original: extravagantly hefty amounts Suggested revision: extremely large amounts Why it matters: This replacement expresses the scale naturally without stacking incompatible intensifiers.
- 4. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: 'Work' is uncountable when referring generally to what people do for a living.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: activities Suggested revision: activity Why it matters: The singular determiner 'any' requires 'activity' in this general statement.
- 6. Clarify the benefit Original: better returns and luxury Suggested revision: good returns and the means Why it matters: Money can provide the means to enjoy luxuries, rather than 'give luxury' directly.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: with all the tranquility Suggested revision: in comfort Why it matters: 'In comfort' expresses the intended lifestyle more naturally in this context.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: brain Suggested revision: brains Why it matters: The plural possessive 'their' refers to multiple people, so 'brains' should also be plural.
- 9. Keep tense consistent Original: and invested Suggested revision: and have invested Why it matters: The present perfect is needed to connect the earlier investment with the present argument.
- 10. Use precise time phrase Original: nascent days of life Suggested revision: early career Why it matters: 'Early career' clearly identifies the period of professional development intended here.
- 11. Correct past sequence Original: then he has a chance Suggested revision: and then had the chance Why it matters: The example describes a past sequence, so the verb should remain in the past tense.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: as of now Suggested revision: currently Why it matters: 'Currently' conveys the time reference more concisely in formal writing.
Suggested Rewrites
- higher more
- movie casters and makers film actors and producers
- extravagantly hefty amounts extremely large amounts
- works work
- activities activity
- better returns and luxury good returns and the means
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers relevant ideas about rewarding effort and recognising socially essential workers, and its broad position can be followed. However, it only partially answers the two questions, with an inconsistent opening, limited explanation of pay criteria, and no clear concluding synthesis; the priority is to state a precise degree of agreement and develop a coherent set of criteria supported by clearly expressed reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both unrestricted earnings and higher pay for essential workers, but its position is imprecise and the criteria for determining pay are only partly developed.
State exactly how far you agree, identify two clear pay criteria such as skill and social contribution, and explain how each should affect remuneration.
Coherence and Cohesion
The body paragraphs have distinct topics and a broadly traceable progression, although the long introduction, mechanical signposting, and unclear references weaken cohesion.
Use a shorter thesis-led introduction and connect each supporting sentence directly to the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate or unnatural choices such as references to movie workers and income reduce precision.
Prefer accurate common collocations such as earn a high income, essential professions, and contribution to society over forced or imprecise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, comparison forms, and clause construction reduce control and sometimes obscure meaning.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check every clause for a clear subject, correct verb form, and accurate comparison structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors, and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? Those criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.