It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?
Sample Response
All things considered, different situations may happen: emergencies, unexpected plans, poor health, or even fatigue. Sometimes we can entrust our tasks and chores to someone. Admittedly, situations like this are normal. The great feeling that you can rely on someone and hope for their support. However, as I see it, you need to do all your things yourself, without someone's help. I prefer to do everything on my own and appropriately; I mean that people also should do their own plans themselves.
On one hand, I'm convinced you should rely on your own way of providing for others. As far as I think, we need to be independent, because in another way we'll be weak and dependent on others' help. For instance, I never ask for help from my family or friends, since I should do it all alone, without support, despite the challenges. That means I can live alone with someone beside me.
On the other hand, as opposed to people who ask for help because they don't have enough time, strength or wellness, others can use colleagues, everyone they know, and even their relatives. With time, this person will be too irresponsible and arrogant. For example, a boy who grows up in an overprotective environment, where parents always help him, at school he uses help from classmates, and with a job, the same situation.
In conclusion, I must emphasise that I'm not against help, support, or assistance; admittedly, when we need to cooperate with others to get a great result in a project, we can ask a husband or kids about household chores. Of course not; my position is that you need to do your job solo, but if you need advice or support, you can include someone to make this task simpler. As I have noted, help — it isn't evil, but you need to do what you can yourself, because, in my opinion, it is a main part of our development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Vague phrasing Original: do all your things yourself Suggested revision: handle your own responsibilities Why it matters: Replacing informal phrasing with more formal vocabulary improves academic tone.
- 2. Improper word choice Original: do their own plans themselves Suggested revision: carry out their own plans independently Why it matters: The verb 'do' collocates poorly with 'plans' in this context.
- 3. Incorrect transitional phrase Original: in another way Suggested revision: otherwise Why it matters: The expression 'in another way' does not express the intended conditional contrast.
- 4. Contradictory phrasing Original: live alone with someone beside me. Suggested revision: live independently while still having others around me. Why it matters: Saying 'live alone with someone' is self-contradictory.
- 5. Confusing transition Original: as opposed to people who ask for help because they don't have enough time, strength or wellness, others can use colleagues Suggested revision: while some people hire help due to a lack of time, strength, or health, others rely excessively on colleagues Why it matters: The original phrasing creates an unclear logical relationship between the clauses.
- 6. Abrupt phrase Original: Of course not; Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This phrase creates a confusing contradiction with the preceding concession.
- 7. Imperfect collocation Original: include Suggested revision: involve Why it matters: 'Involve someone' is a more natural choice when seeking help or advice.
- 8. Punctuation and clause structure Original: help — it isn't evil, Suggested revision: getting help is not a bad thing, Why it matters: The dash and pronoun insertion create an awkward spoken-style construction.
- 9. Article choice Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The definite article 'the' is required before 'main part'.
- 10. Incorrect idiom Original: As far as I think Suggested revision: As far as I am concerned Why it matters: 'As far as I think' is non-standard phrasing.
- 11. Sentence fragment Original: and with a job, the same situation. Suggested revision: and continues to do so in the workplace. Why it matters: This clause lacks a proper verb predicate.
- 12. Informal vocabulary Original: do your job solo Suggested revision: complete your tasks independently Why it matters: 'Solo' is informal for an academic Task 2 essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- do all your things yourself handle your own responsibilities
- do their own plans themselves carry out their own plans independently
- in another way otherwise
- live alone with someone beside me. live independently while still having others around me.
- as opposed to people who ask for help because they don't have enough time, strength or wellness, others can use colleagues while some people hire help due to a lack of time, strength, or health, others rely excessively on colleagues
- Of course not; Delete
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay presents a personal stance on independence, but it largely fails to address whether outsourcing tasks is a good way to provide employment for others. While the writer maintains a consistent attempt to discuss doing tasks oneself, the argument suffers from unclear progression and frequent grammatical inaccuracies. To improve, explicitly answer all parts of the prompt in the introduction and support your key points with directly relevant, well-structured examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response partially addresses the prompt by discussing doing tasks oneself, but completely omits the aspect of providing work for others.
Ensure you directly answer every question in the prompt, particularly addressing economic and employment aspects when asked.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow of ideas is disjointed and some linking expressions are used incorrectly.
Use clear topic sentences and logical transition words to connect your main points smoothly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is limited in range with noticeable word choice errors that occasionally cause confusion.
Focus on using topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and domestic tasks accurately rather than relying on vague expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, and awkward structures throughout the text.
Practice constructing complete complex sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and preposition use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.