Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?
Sample Response
In recent years, it has become increasingly common for individuals to be less connected with their immediate neighbors. In my opinion, this is largely a result of a more insular society and can be somewhat alleviated through initiatives that encourage more community interaction.
The main reason that many residents today do not often speak with their neighbors is that the world is more physically isolated. In past generations, people were more in the habit of going outside and occupying their time by talking with those living nearby. Today, the rise of technology allows the average person to do a variety of activities online including talking with friends, watching movies, playing computer games, and listening to music. These habits now occupy the vast majority of a person’s time and there is no longer a need to interact with one’s neighbor out of boredom or a feeling of connection.
This modern tendency can be countered by more communal activities. Since there is no reversing technological advancement, it must be countered through proactive measures. An example of this would be a local government organizing a festival or musical performance in a park. Neighbors who meet at such events are likely to form connections and thereafter remain in contact as either casual acquaintances or actual friends. If governments are unwilling to undertake such initiatives, then local citizens can also organize various events. The result over time will be a gradual thawing of relations between neighbors.
In conclusion, the way people live today leads to less interaction with one’s neighbors and this phenomenon can be mitigated with more community events. If nothing is done, society will only become more fractured and alienating.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Refine the collocation Original: with Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Connected to is the more natural collocation for describing relationships between people.
- 2. Make phrasing concise Original: in the habit of going outside and occupying their time by talking Suggested revision: accustomed to going outside and spending time talking Why it matters: This revision expresses the same habitual activity more directly and naturally.
- 3. Set off the examples Original: activities online including Suggested revision: activities online, including Why it matters: A comma clearly separates the general category from the following list of examples.
- 4. Avoid overstatement Original: vast majority of a person’s time Suggested revision: much of a person's time Why it matters: Much of is a more measured expression for the amount of time occupied by these habits.
- 5. Clarify the motivation Original: out of boredom or a feeling of connection Suggested revision: to relieve boredom or gain a sense of connection Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly expresses the two motivations for interacting with neighbors.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: thereafter remain in contact Suggested revision: remain in contact afterward Why it matters: Afterward is more natural here while preserving the sequence of events.
- 7. Choose precise wording Original: actual Suggested revision: close Why it matters: Close friends gives a clearer contrast with casual acquaintances.
- 8. State the cause clearly Original: a more insular society Suggested revision: increasing social isolation Why it matters: This phrase identifies the proposed cause more directly than the broad description of society.
- 9. Make wording concise Original: those living nearby Suggested revision: nearby residents Why it matters: Nearby residents conveys the same group more concisely.
- 10. Avoid absolute wording Original: no longer a need to interact Suggested revision: less need to interact Why it matters: Less need accurately expresses a reduction without making an unnecessarily absolute claim.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: countered by more communal activities Suggested revision: addressed through more communal activities Why it matters: A social tendency is more naturally addressed through activities than countered by them.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The main reason that many residents today do not often speak with their neighbors is that the world is more physically isolated. Suggested revision: The main reason many residents today rarely speak with their neighbors is that people are more physically isolated from one another. Why it matters: The rewrite makes people, rather than the world, the logically appropriate subject of physical isolation.
Suggested Rewrites
- with to
- in the habit of going outside and occupying their time by talking accustomed to going outside and spending time talking
- activities online including activities online, including
- vast majority of a person’s time much of a person's time
- out of boredom or a feeling of connection to relieve boredom or gain a sense of connection
- thereafter remain in contact remain in contact afterward
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct, logically developed treatment of both the cause and a practical solution, supported by a clear community-event example. The main limitation is that the explanation relies on one broad account of technological isolation and repeats the idea of countering it. To improve further, add a more nuanced causal link and vary phrasing while preserving the essay’s concise progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with a well-developed cause, a feasible solution, and relevant explanation and illustration.
Deepen the causal analysis by briefly distinguishing technological habits from the broader social isolation they create.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without disrupting the argument.
Reduce the close repetition of the idea that the tendency must be countered by varying the transition into the solution paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys the argument naturally, with effective choices such as insular, proactive, and mitigated.
Refine the few broad expressions, especially the claim that the world is physically isolated, to make the meaning still more exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with sentences remaining controlled and easy to read.
Maintain this accuracy while experimenting with slightly more varied sentence openings and patterns of emphasis.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.