Some people think that one should plan in detail activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many feel that it is important to plan out their free time activities, while others opt to live more spontaneously. In my opinion, planning can be useful but over time it will devalue the activities themselves.
Arranging one’s leisure activities ahead of time is a natural impulse to ease tension and ensure their usefulness. Some psychologists have termed humans the ‘planning animal’ because of an inborn tendency arising from a calming need for security. To the person doing the planning, this serves the secondary purpose of ensuring they are not wasting their time. For example, if a motivated individual plans their day they might set out to do some exercise, read a book, finish some work at home, and cook a meal. These are productive tasks that will lead to a feeling of fulfillment at the end of the day.
However, this drive causes undue pressure and hinders enjoyment of a given activity. The human propensity to plan is also an underlying cause of stress and keeps individuals from being fully present in the moment. This can result in a situation where pre-planned activities become joyless. For instance, the person described above who maps out their day might feel they are simply ticking items off a to-do list and not enjoy the activity in itself. Contrast this with a more spontaneous lifestyle that still entails productivity but does not set a purposeful goal for every action. This person will accomplish just as much but enjoy it much more since they can be fully invested in the moment and act.
In conclusion, the useful aspects of planning do not outweigh the worth derived from spontaneous action. Individuals must naturally strike a balance but be mindful they are not subordinating an activity to its utilitarian value.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: plan out their free time activities Suggested revision: plan their leisure activities Why it matters: The revision removes an unnecessary particle and uses the task's more precise term.
- 2. Clarify the cause Original: over time it will devalue Suggested revision: excessive planning can devalue Why it matters: The revision identifies planning intensity, rather than the passage of time, as the stated cause.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: ensure their usefulness Suggested revision: ensure that their time is used productively Why it matters: The possessive pronoun has an unclear antecedent because activities themselves are not people.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: To the person doing the planning Suggested revision: For the person planning Why it matters: For naturally introduces the person who receives the stated benefit.
- 5. Add clause comma Original: plans their day they Suggested revision: plans their day, they Why it matters: A comma is required after the initial conditional clause.
- 6. Use concise emphasis Original: not enjoy the activity in itself Suggested revision: not enjoy the activity itself Why it matters: The reflexive pronoun directly emphasizes activity without the awkward prepositional phrase.
- 7. Fix abstract collocation Original: entails Suggested revision: allows Why it matters: A lifestyle can allow productive behaviour, while entail productivity is an unnatural collocation here.
- 8. Avoid redundant wording Original: purposeful Suggested revision: specific Why it matters: Goals are inherently purposeful, while specific captures the intended contrast with spontaneity.
- 9. Use concise noun Original: the useful aspects of planning Suggested revision: the benefits of planning Why it matters: Benefits expresses the positive aspects of planning more directly.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: worth Suggested revision: value Why it matters: Value is the more natural formal noun for the benefit obtained from an activity.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Some psychologists have termed humans the ‘planning animal’ because of an inborn tendency arising from a calming need for security. Suggested revision: Some psychologists have termed humans the ‘planning animal’ because the need for security creates an inborn tendency to plan. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the unclear chain of modifiers while preserving the claimed relationship.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This person will accomplish just as much but enjoy it much more since they can be fully invested in the moment and act. Suggested revision: This person may accomplish just as much while enjoying the experience more because they can remain fully engaged in the moment. Why it matters: The rewrite resolves the vague pronoun and the awkward coordination at the end of the sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- plan out their free time activities plan their leisure activities
- over time it will devalue excessive planning can devalue
- ensure their usefulness ensure that their time is used productively
- To the person doing the planning For the person planning
- plans their day they plans their day, they
- not enjoy the activity in itself not enjoy the activity itself
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly addresses both perspectives, sustains a nuanced opinion, and develops each side with well-chosen explanations and a connected example. Its argument is coherent and its language is flexible and precise, with only occasional wording that feels slightly abstract or compressed. The best refinement would be to make the case for spontaneity more explicitly distinct from the criticism of excessive planning and to phrase a few conceptual claims more concretely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed reasoning, and the writer maintains a clear nuanced position.
Make the positive case for spontaneity slightly more explicit rather than presenting it mainly through the drawbacks of planning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses smoothly through a clear argument, with effective paragraphing and well-managed links between examples and claims.
Strengthen the transition within the second body paragraph when moving from criticism of planning to the alternative lifestyle.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and confidently used, including sophisticated language suited to the abstract topic.
Replace a few compressed abstract phrases with more concrete wording to make the argument even more immediately accessible.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with strong control throughout the response.
Refine the occasional densely layered sentence so its logical relationships are as transparent as its grammar is accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that one should plan in detail activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.