Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The utilization of the open areas for planting or building more houses has become a debatable issue. In my opinion, I agree that trees and gardens play a vital role in human development. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view and give supporting reasons.
To begin with, the cultivation of more trees in urban settings benefits city dwellers in a variety of ways. For example, extra tree shade is generated when more trees are planted in open areas, which not only promotes the aesthetics of the city but also helps to lower the city’s temperature. Also, it provides more space to elders and youngsters to do some physical activities in this relaxing environment.
Additionally, these plants assist in reducing urban air pollution and noise levels and promote higher living standards. Experts have discovered that tree leaves are great absorbers, especially of carbon dioxide and dust. In addition, trees generate oxygen, which can help to reduce pollution in cities and improve air quality.
However, it is true that more housing means more places to live. But it cannot be ignored that people are suffering from urbanisation induced air pollution and the only solution to protect them is to plant more trees.
To sum up, due to mass urbanization, the need for trees and gardens has drastically increased to improve the quality of life in overcrowded cities. Moreover, trees and gardens are natural combats that can help protect against various man-made disasters.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant phrasing Original: In my opinion, I agree Suggested revision: I agree Why it matters: The introductory phrase and the reporting verb express the same personal stance.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: the cultivation of more trees Suggested revision: planting more trees Why it matters: Planting is the natural verb for establishing trees in an urban area.
- 3. Choose natural wording Original: extra tree shade is generated Suggested revision: more shade is created Why it matters: The original passive phrase is unnecessarily technical for this simple effect.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: promotes the aesthetics of the city Suggested revision: improves the city's appearance Why it matters: Improve an area's appearance is a more natural expression than promote its aesthetics.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: it provides more space Suggested revision: this greenery provides more space Why it matters: The pronoun has no clear singular antecedent in the preceding sentence.
- 6. Correct the preposition Original: to elders and youngsters Suggested revision: for older and younger people Why it matters: Provide space takes for when identifying the people who can use it.
- 7. Use precise phrasing Original: do some physical activities Suggested revision: engage in physical activity Why it matters: This collocation is more natural and concise in formal writing.
- 8. Keep the noun precise Original: plants Suggested revision: trees Why it matters: Trees is the precise noun already established as the paragraph's subject.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: great Suggested revision: effective Why it matters: Effective expresses performance more precisely than the informal adjective great.
- 10. Correct word choice Original: combats Suggested revision: defences Why it matters: Combat does not mean a protective feature in this grammatical context.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The utilization of the open areas for planting or building more houses has become a debatable issue. Suggested revision: Whether open areas should be used for planting trees or building more housing has become a contentious issue. Why it matters: The rewrite expresses the two competing uses directly and removes awkward nominalisation.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: However, it is true that more housing means more places to live. But it cannot be ignored that people are suffering from urbanisation induced air pollution and the only solution to protect them is to plant more trees. Suggested revision: Although more housing would provide more places to live, people also need trees to help combat air pollution caused by urbanisation. Why it matters: Combining the contrast removes the abrupt connector sequence and the unsupported absolute wording.
Suggested Rewrites
- In my opinion, I agree I agree
- the cultivation of more trees planting more trees
- extra tree shade is generated more shade is created
- promotes the aesthetics of the city improves the city's appearance
- it provides more space this greenery provides more space
- to elders and youngsters for older and younger people
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and presents a logically organised case for urban trees, with relevant explanations about shade, air quality, and public space. Its main limitation is that the competing need for housing is dismissed rather than weighed in a developed way, and several final claims become broad or imprecise. The priority is to deepen the comparison with housing while using more natural, precise expressions to support the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is supported with relevant benefits of urban trees, but the housing alternative receives only brief and assertive treatment.
Develop a reasoned comparison with the need for housing and support the final claims with specific explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly through focused paragraphs, although some linking is formulaic and a few references are vague.
Use more precise internal links between claims and ensure pronouns such as 'it' have unmistakable referents.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough for the topic, but several unnatural collocations reduce precision and sophistication.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'natural combats' and 'extra tree shade is generated' with natural, exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentence forms is generally controlled, with only occasional non-impeding errors.
Refine article use, hyphenation, and sentence phrasing while maintaining the existing variety of structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.