In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
Inset of countries, plastic grocery bags in the rubbish has become an immense influence on natural resources. Such water and land pollution have occurred to another level to ban the usage of plastics. Completely agree with the given statement, and the following paragraphs will demonstrate the relevant points.
Prohibition of the non-disposal of garbage is a great decision that a government can take for the safety of the country. This means that when the water and land get polluted, there will be a plethora of incidents to overcome as a nation, like diseases and the loss of crops. When water gets polluted where a human cannot consume it, or people consume polluted water due to the absence of pure water leads to many diseases among them, especially kidney failures. Because of that, most citizens have to pay a higher cost for a kidney transplant. For example, rural villagers are at risk of kidney difficulties due to the unavailability of clean water.
Moreover, damage to fertile land puts farmers into poverty, and the needy people who used to harvest on their own to consume their own food are in danger situation. This means that when farmers cannot farm the vegetables and fruits in the soil leads to insufficient food for the demand. For instance, people will not have enough vegetables to buy from the market due to fewer crops. Therefore this has to be discussed and come to a favourable solution.
To conclude, plastic destroys the valuable resources of the earth, and the issue should be addressed and sorted out for better surroundings for human well-being to be healthy and survive. Banning plastic materials and giving a guideline for a protective environment to the government would be ideal.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the subject Original: Completely agree with the given statement Suggested revision: I completely agree with the given statement Why it matters: A finite clause needs an explicit subject here.
- 2. Use a clearer verb Original: following paragraphs will demonstrate the relevant points Suggested revision: following paragraphs will explain the main reasons Why it matters: Explain is a more natural verb for presenting reasons in an essay.
- 3. Correct the expression Original: have occurred to another level Suggested revision: have reached such a serious level Why it matters: The original phrase does not express the intended degree naturally.
- 4. Complete the result clause Original: to ban the usage of plastics Suggested revision: that governments should ban plastic bags Why it matters: The revised result clause clearly identifies who should take action.
- 5. Remove the double negative Original: Prohibition of the non-disposal of garbage Suggested revision: Prohibiting improper garbage disposal Why it matters: Non-disposal reverses the intended meaning and makes the policy unclear.
- 6. Use precise policy language Original: great decision Suggested revision: effective measure Why it matters: Measure is more precise than decision when describing government action.
- 7. Name the protected area Original: safety of the country Suggested revision: protection of the environment Why it matters: This phrase states the environmental aim more precisely.
- 8. Clarify the consequences Original: a plethora of incidents to overcome Suggested revision: a range of serious consequences to address Why it matters: Consequences is the appropriate term for harmful results such as disease and crop loss.
- 9. Use formal exemplification Original: like diseases Suggested revision: such as disease Why it matters: Such as is more appropriate for introducing an example in formal writing.
- 10. Use a formal link Original: Because of that Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: This connector states the cause-and-effect relationship more directly.
- 11. Correct the noun phrase Original: a higher cost for a kidney transplant Suggested revision: the high cost of a kidney transplant Why it matters: Cost of is the natural grammatical pattern in this context.
- 12. Choose the natural noun Original: difficulties Suggested revision: problems Why it matters: Kidney problems is the standard collocation for medical difficulties.
Suggested Rewrites
- Completely agree with the given statement I completely agree with the given statement
- following paragraphs will demonstrate the relevant points following paragraphs will explain the main reasons
- have occurred to another level have reached such a serious level
- to ban the usage of plastics that governments should ban plastic bags
- Prohibition of the non-disposal of garbage Prohibiting improper garbage disposal
- great decision effective measure
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and uses a straightforward paragraph structure to explain how polluted water and damaged land can affect people. Its main limitation is that the discussion often treats pollution in general rather than establishing precise links to plastic shopping bags, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken clarity. Prioritise specific cause-and-effect development supported by accurately formed complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained, but the consequences are discussed broadly and are not always tied specifically to plastic shopping bags.
Explain precisely how discarded bags cause each stated effect and connect every example directly to the proposed ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical overall paragraph sequence, although some transitions and explanatory links are mechanical or unclear.
Use sharper topic sentences and make each supporting sentence follow clearly from the claim before it.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss pollution and its consequences, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to non-disposal or danger situations with natural, topic-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but recurring clause, article, and sentence-structure errors sometimes strain comprehension.
Practise constructing complete cause-and-effect sentences with one clear subject and correctly controlled subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.