The Number of car accidents is increasing annually. This is the result of poor driving skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The burgeoning motor industry has been said the real culprit in an escalating number of vehicles on the road, and that progress leads to an incline in a number of mishappenings on the road. I agree with it as people are ignorant about traffic rules, and an unregulated traffic system is making the situation worse.
To commence with, the reason behind a surge in the number of accidents yearly is ignorance about traffic rules. To elaborate, although people are conscious about traffic rules, yet they break the rules by reckless driving, as well as poor physical skills such as holding the steering wheel incorrectly, coasting the clutch, clutching before braking and to name but a few. Out of many, these a few reasons become the cause of deaths on the road. What’s more, now and then, inexperience is also responsible for making them poor driver and young blood in order to overtake others, put their lives in peril, and they become vulnerable to others.
Furthermore, an unregulated traffic system has a big hand in creating havoc on the roads. To be specific, persons below 18 are driving, and if they are caught red-handed, they are freed by the traffic authorities by penalising them a small amount. Thus this attitude of the authorities stimulate them, and the teenagers remain unchained. Besides, sometimes learners do not attend training schools to learn how to drive safely, and they obtain a licence by paying a huge amount. This seems to be true in that case when a person wants to swim and has proper safety equipment, but he gets failed to use those in case of trouble. If their driving is monitored, then they can save themselves as well as others.
In conclusion, Thus, poor driving skills is a great hazard not only to the drivers but also to the other people who walk on the road. Apart from it, the lack of constant monitoring is another reason, especially when people try to disobey the traffic rules and overtake others.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: ignorant about traffic rules Suggested revision: unaware of traffic rules Why it matters: 'Unaware of' is a more natural expression for lacking knowledge of rules.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: behind Suggested revision: for Why it matters: 'Reason for' is the standard and more concise collocation.
- 3. Fix concessive structure Original: yet they break the rules Suggested revision: they still break the rules Why it matters: 'Although' already introduces the contrast, so 'yet' should not introduce the main clause here.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: by Suggested revision: through Why it matters: 'Through' correctly introduces the means by which the rules are broken.
- 5. Use precise term Original: poor physical skills Suggested revision: poor vehicle-control skills Why it matters: The examples concern controlling a vehicle rather than general physical ability.
- 6. Complete the list Original: and to name but a few Suggested revision: among other errors Why it matters: The original phrase is grammatically incomplete after the list of examples.
- 7. Fix noun phrase Original: Out of many, these a few reasons Suggested revision: These are some of the reasons Why it matters: The original determiner sequence is ungrammatical and obscures the subject.
- 8. Use direct verb Original: become the cause of Suggested revision: cause Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the causal relationship more clearly.
- 9. Use formal expression Original: has a big hand in Suggested revision: contributes significantly to Why it matters: The revision replaces an awkward idiom with precise academic wording.
- 10. Use natural wording Original: persons below 18 Suggested revision: people under 18 Why it matters: 'People under 18' is the conventional expression for this age group.
- 11. Clarify the sequence Original: by penalising them a small amount Suggested revision: after giving them a small fine Why it matters: The revision removes the repeated 'by' construction and expresses the sequence clearly.
- 12. Fix agreement and meaning Original: stimulate Suggested revision: encourages Why it matters: The singular subject 'attitude' requires a singular verb, and 'encourages' fits the intended meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- ignorant about traffic rules unaware of traffic rules
- behind for
- yet they break the rules they still break the rules
- by through
- poor physical skills poor vehicle-control skills
- and to name but a few among other errors
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear agreement and organises relevant causes around unsafe driving, inexperience, weak training, and poor enforcement. Its main limitation is uneven development: several claims are loosely expressed, and the swimming comparison does not convincingly clarify the argument, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer causes through clear causal explanation and specific, credible road-safety examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant causes are discussed, though some support is general, questionable, or only loosely connected to poor driving skills.
Select two strong causes and explain exactly how each one produces accidents, using a concrete and plausible example for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph-level organisation and generally logical progression, but mechanical linking and some overloaded sentences weaken flow within ideas.
Use referencing and causal links more naturally, and divide long sentences when they contain several only loosely related claims.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a sufficient range for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices limit precision and naturalness.
Use established road-safety vocabulary accurately and replace expressions such as incline in mishappenings and remain unchained with direct wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, clause, and punctuation errors reduce control while meaning remains mostly clear.
Check every sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then correct agreement and article errors before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The Number of car accidents is increasing annually. This is the result of poor driving skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.