Popular hobbies and interests change over time to time and are more a reflection of fashions and trends than an indication of what people want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this given statement?
Sample Response
The paradigm shift is responsible for bringing some alterations in the choice of hobbies of persons. This is mostly due to prevalent fashion and technology that compels people to choose hobbies that make them popular, and they earn huge profit rather than opting for the hobbies they really want to do in their free time. I completely agree with it, and I will elaborate on my point of view in the subsequent paragraphs.
First off, if masses change their hobbies or aptitudes, then it is believed that they do it under the influence of fashion rather than their real desire to choose these hobbies. It is due to having the desire to get a name and fame and earn a hefty amount by pursuing these free-time activities. For instance, people choose to spend lavishly on expensive activities like shopping, going on vacations, staying in a luxurious hotel and uploading their itinerary on social sites to get more views. So by doing these things, they become famous. I believe this change in their selection of hobbies is partly due to the current prevailing fashion. People follow each other, and they do the same, so it is not the choice of people, but for the sake of getting popularity and becoming an iconic personality, they keep these hobbies.
Moreover, Individuals want to keep themselves up to date. Hobbies like stamp collecting or coins are considered obsolete. So, they choose those activities which really satisfy their spirit and give them more information. They want to flow with time. So, they try to keep every new hobby that they earlier never heard of and had never experienced. By opting, they want to prove their worth and applause of people. For instance, reading books to kill time was a least favourite activity due to technology and my hectic schedule. But now, people read books, namely novels, plays and are becoming budding writers. This is the influence of movies, dramas that stimulate them to a writer or critic instead of real want of having hobbies for pleasure.
In conclusion, In my perspective, people are greatly influenced by changing trends in fashion, and they are less interested in pursuing the hobbies that they really want to keep. They become updated and earn handsome income, but they do all out of their desires.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive structure Original: choice of hobbies of persons Suggested revision: people’s choice of hobbies Why it matters: The possessive form expresses this relationship naturally and concisely.
- 2. Fix profit expression Original: earn huge profit Suggested revision: earn substantial profits Why it matters: The plural count noun and formal adjective form a natural expression here.
- 3. Use natural noun Original: masses Suggested revision: people Why it matters: Masses is unnatural for referring neutrally to people in this clause.
- 4. Use relevant term Original: aptitudes Suggested revision: interests Why it matters: Aptitude means ability, so it does not match the intended leisure choices.
- 5. Keep list general Original: staying in a luxurious hotel Suggested revision: staying in luxurious hotels Why it matters: The plural form matches the general activities listed around it.
- 6. Match plural referent Original: itinerary Suggested revision: itineraries Why it matters: The plural noun agrees with the plural group of people.
- 7. Use standard term Original: sites Suggested revision: media Why it matters: Social media is the conventional term for platforms where people post content.
- 8. Remove redundant wording Original: current prevailing fashion Suggested revision: current fashion trends Why it matters: Current and prevailing repeat the same idea, while fashion trends is more precise.
- 9. Fix mid-sentence capital Original: Individuals Suggested revision: individuals Why it matters: A common noun after a comma should not begin with a capital letter.
- 10. Complete parallel phrase Original: stamp collecting or coins Suggested revision: stamp or coin collecting Why it matters: Both alternatives need to name hobbies in the same grammatical form.
- 11. Choose accurate collocation Original: spirit Suggested revision: interests Why it matters: Interests can be satisfied, whereas satisfy their spirit is unnatural here.
- 12. Use idiomatic expression Original: flow with time Suggested revision: keep up with the times Why it matters: This idiom accurately expresses adapting to current developments.
Suggested Rewrites
- choice of hobbies of persons people’s choice of hobbies
- earn huge profit earn substantial profits
- masses people
- aptitudes interests
- staying in a luxurious hotel staying in luxurious hotels
- itinerary itineraries
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement with the statement and uses a conventional paragraph structure to organize two relevant lines of argument. However, development is repetitive and occasionally contradictory, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce precision; the highest priority is to explain each reason more logically with a clearly relevant example and simpler, more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and relevant reasons are offered, but support is sometimes repetitive, implausible, or inconsistent with the central claim.
Develop each reason through a clear cause-and-effect explanation and ensure every example directly demonstrates how trends override genuine preferences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph divisions and an overall logical direction, although repetitive linking and locally unclear reasoning weaken progression.
Use fewer mechanical connectors and arrange each paragraph around one claim followed by explanation and a directly connected example.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prioritize accurate, natural combinations such as pursue a hobby and gain recognition instead of relying on ambitious but unsuitable expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, sentence construction, and capitalization reduce control.
Use more reliably formed sentences and systematically check article use, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular hobbies and interests change over time to time and are more a reflection of fashions and trends than an indication of what people want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this given statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.