Popular hobbies and interests change over time to time and are more a reflection of fashions and trends than an indication of what people really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this given statement?
Sample Response
People keep changing their hobbies under the influence of fashion they of new ones without having any interest in them I completely agree with the statement that it is due to changes in fashion and in my perspective it has an adverse effect on their psyche and to get name and fame they pursue new activities by replacing the old ones.
At the outset, people keep changing their past time activities under the influence of fashion because they remain updated and some leisure activities are discarded by the youngsters as they consider these outdated such as stamp collecting or collecting the pictures of their favourite actor or actress. These were the past activities of a bygone era so they prefer to alter these old fashioned activities with new ones to make themselves innovative as now people like to read more and they are eager to take part in adventurous sports. Hence they have changed their hobbies in order to earn name and fame and I think which is not a bad thing in itself but taking part in these out of one’s interest are futile endeavours.
People may give a rational view behind this change. They may say that these give them more pleasure and are all new for them to learn and remove their monotony but in reality, technology has made them adventurous and now without being focused on conventional hobbies, they want to do something different namely scuba diving paragliding which was earlier not heard of, and now people choose to show their valour and these they do without having any interest in them. Apart from it, peer group pressure is another factor that is responsible for this change as they want to prove themselves unique from others. So they continuously change their hobbies.
In conclusion, Thus people change their hobbies and taste owing to getting up to date, remove monotony and doing something exciting and adventurous. Although they are not keen to opt for new hobbies; but, they choose to set up their unique Identity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the compound noun Original: past time activities Suggested revision: pastime activities Why it matters: 'Pastime' is one word when it means a leisure activity.
- 2. Express purpose clearly Original: because they remain updated Suggested revision: to remain up to date Why it matters: The infinitive correctly expresses the purpose for following fashion.
- 3. Remove the article Original: by the youngsters Suggested revision: by youngsters Why it matters: The generic plural noun does not require the definite article.
- 4. Correct the pronoun Original: these Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The object pronoun 'them' must refer back to the leisure activities.
- 5. Use natural wording Original: collecting the pictures Suggested revision: collecting pictures Why it matters: The generic activity does not need the definite article.
- 6. Align the tense Original: Hence they have changed Suggested revision: Hence, they change Why it matters: The present tense matches the essay's general claim and the connector needs a comma.
- 7. Use a natural collocation Original: earn name and fame Suggested revision: gain recognition Why it matters: 'Gain recognition' naturally expresses the intended desire for status.
- 8. Restore the main clause Original: which Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The demonstrative subject is needed after 'I think' to form a complete clause.
- 9. Correct the intended meaning Original: out of one’s interest Suggested revision: without genuine interest Why it matters: The original phrase suggests motivation by interest, which contradicts the stated claim.
- 10. Match subject and verb Original: are futile endeavours Suggested revision: is a futile endeavour Why it matters: The gerund phrase 'taking part' functions as a singular subject.
- 11. Fix the collocation Original: give a rational view behind Suggested revision: provide a rational explanation for Why it matters: An explanation is provided for a change; a view is not given behind it.
- 12. Use a clear connector Original: Apart from it Suggested revision: Besides this Why it matters: 'Besides this' clearly adds peer pressure to the preceding explanation.
Suggested Rewrites
- past time activities pastime activities
- because they remain updated to remain up to date
- by the youngsters by youngsters
- these them
- collecting the pictures collecting pictures
- Hence they have changed Hence, they change
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear position and offers several relevant reasons, including fashion, technology, novelty, and peer pressure. Its main limitation is that these ideas are repetitive and sometimes contradictory, while frequent run-on sentences and awkward phrasing reduce clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to organize two distinct arguments, explain each with a precise example, and edit sentence boundaries carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer answers the question with a clear agreement and relevant reasons, although development is repetitive and the distinction between genuine interest and trend-following is not consistently explained.
Develop two separate reasons with specific examples and resolve the apparent contradiction that new hobbies provide pleasure but are pursued without interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but long run-on sentences, unclear references, and mechanical connectors weaken cohesion.
Give each paragraph one controlling idea and split extended sentences so every pronoun and connector has a clear referent and function.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but frequent collocation and word-form problems limit precision.
Use natural expressions such as pastimes, keep up to date, relieve monotony, and pursue hobbies out of genuine interest.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, punctuation, and clause construction occur frequently.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then combine them using accurately controlled relative, concessive, and causal clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular hobbies and interests change over time to time and are more a reflection of fashions and trends than an indication of what people really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this given statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.