Explain why the movies are as popular as a means of entertainment. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Sample Response
Today, movies have become a complete and favourite form of entertainment and it has outweighed other art forms like dramas, concert and the like. In this essay, I would like to discuss why people are attracted to movies. To commence with, movies are a complete package with attractive videos, songs, action and the like. To go deep inside, when a person watches a concert, dance or any other art form, they either get visual or audio experience, while movies have made with attractive songs, action scene, theme and dances. More importantly, they shoot in different locations around the world and that is an essential ingredient to make a story and film more attractive, that is how it has overtaken the popularity of dramas. Movies provide enormous flexibility to its viewers. To make it clear, movies can be seen from anywhere any time such as while travelling, by eating or cooking food and the like. Most of the movies are based on real-life stories or happenings when people watch movies each person gets the feeling that he or she represent that hero and it creates an emotional involvement with the movie and that force people to watch more movies. Furthermore, as we know the world has different kinds of people in the sense of age group and in their taste, but, films are popular among all of them with its unnatural ability and a huge variety of story. To exemplify, for children, there are fiction and cartoon movies, for youngsters,action movies, scientific movies and the same for old people and family. To conclude, there are hundreds of movies are released every day in different languages across the globe and that shows its overwhelming popularity among billions of people. Though over dependence on movies can have a detrimental effect on people, the movies are real boons to the people with its entertaining abilities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix pronoun agreement Original: it has outweighed Suggested revision: they have surpassed Why it matters: The plural subject 'movies' requires 'they', and 'surpassed' expresses the comparison naturally.
- 2. Use consistent plurals Original: dramas, concert Suggested revision: plays, concerts Why it matters: The examples require parallel plural nouns, and 'plays' is the natural term for theatrical works.
- 3. Use natural transition Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: 'To begin with' is the standard transition for introducing a first reason.
- 4. Use formal description Original: a complete package Suggested revision: a comprehensive art form Why it matters: The revision conveys the combination of elements in a more formal and precise way.
- 5. Use precise visual term Original: attractive videos Suggested revision: engaging visuals Why it matters: Movies contain visual elements rather than separate videos.
- 6. Use clear elaboration signal Original: To go deep inside Suggested revision: More specifically Why it matters: The original phrase is not a natural transition for developing an explanation.
- 7. Use natural experience phrase Original: get visual or audio experience Suggested revision: have either a visual or auditory experience Why it matters: The revision uses parallel adjectives and the natural verb 'have'.
- 8. Correct passive voice Original: have Suggested revision: are Why it matters: Movies receive the action, so the passive form requires 'are made'.
- 9. Use plural list item Original: scene Suggested revision: scenes Why it matters: The surrounding list describes movie features generally, so the noun should be plural.
- 10. Use passive voice Original: they shoot Suggested revision: they are shot Why it matters: Movies are filmed by others, so the passive construction is required.
- 11. Fix possessive agreement Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The plural noun 'movies' requires the plural possessive determiner 'their'.
- 12. Correct place-time phrase Original: seen from anywhere any time Suggested revision: watched anywhere at any time Why it matters: The revision uses the appropriate verb and adds the required preposition before 'any time'.
Suggested Rewrites
- it has outweighed they have surpassed
- dramas, concert plays, concerts
- commence begin
- a complete package a comprehensive art form
- attractive videos engaging visuals
- To go deep inside More specifically
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay answers the question directly and offers a useful range of reasons for films' popularity, including combined audiovisual appeal, convenient access, emotional identification, and variety for different audiences. Its main limitation is presentation: all ideas appear in one dense paragraph and several examples are generic or unclearly expressed. Prioritise clear paragraphing and one specific example for each major reason.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several relevant reasons are developed and supported with examples, although some illustrations remain broad rather than genuinely specific.
Choose two or three strongest reasons and support each with a named film, viewing situation, or audience example that demonstrates the appeal precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable sequence of reasons, but the single long paragraph, run-on sentences, and repetitive transitions weaken progression.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for audiovisual appeal and accessibility or audience variety, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses adequate entertainment vocabulary, but frequent repetition and inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use phrases such as 'combine visual and audio elements', 'filmed in varied locations', 'available on demand', and 'appeal to diverse audiences'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of structures is attempted, but agreement, passive-form, article, pronoun, and sentence-boundary errors recur throughout.
Shorten overloaded sentences and correct forms such as 'films are made', 'viewers can watch', 'a person identifies', and 'hundreds of films are released'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Explain why the movies are as popular as a means of entertainment. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.