Many countries are still facing problems regarding a huge population. To control the ever increasing population many people believe that Government can control the population through taxes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It is true that the population increases tremendously in many countries these daysin these days, and this causes different types of problems on Earthproblems in the earth. That is why many people believe that government should augment the taxes to the family, who has the more children than the certain number. While I accept that this policy may haveWhile I accept this policy may have some detrimental effects on the human life, I believe it is more beneficialauspicious than harmful. On the one hand, there are some good reasons why increasing taxes can cause people inconveniencebring some inconveniences to the people. Firstly, people have their own choices and rightstheir own choice and right because they are independent and free to makeadopt any decision about their personal life; so, no one can influence them. Secondly, the difference between the rich and poor would be increased in the sense that the richer people may take the children above a certain amount through their money. This could result in considerable inequalityimmense embarrassment to the rich and poor people. Finally, governments may adopt alternative solutionsapply the alternative solution to control the population such as advertising, education and free contraceptive devicessuch as the advertisement, education, free contraception device and so on, which may be more effectivewhich are maybe more substantial. Thus, it is clear that this idea has some drawbacks. On the other hand, increasing taxestax is one of the most efficient ways in which the state can easily control the population. GovernmentsAll regimes have the full authority to make necessary decisionstake any useful decision about their country when the government faces any practical problem. Moreover, if the government takes this significantintensive decision to raise the tax, the people of the country will discourage to take more children. As an example, since the government of China has already applied this method, they are now successful in controlling population growthcontrolling the over slums. Therefore, this instance makes it clear that the administration can manage the overpopulation through this significant action. In conclusion, governments have the power to take necessary steps to curb excessive population growthprevent the excess population. In my opinion, the significant benefit of increasing taxesthe tremendous amenity of increasing taxes is one of the best solutions to control population growthcontrol the slums.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear qualified support for taxation and its attempt to acknowledge individual rights, inequality, and alternative measures. Its main limitation is that several arguments are unclear or factually unsupported, especially the China example and repeated confusion between overpopulation and slums, while frequent language errors obstruct precision. The highest-priority improvement is to use accurate evidence and explain one credible tax mechanism in direct, grammatically controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a position and considers drawbacks and benefits, but key support is confused, insufficiently explained, or inaccurately exemplified.
Explain how a specific tax policy would change family decisions and support it with an accurate, directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opposing and supporting sides are identifiable through basic signposting, though the single-paragraph format and unclear logical links make progression mechanical.
Use separate paragraphs for objections and support, and connect each claim to a clearly stated consequence before moving on.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts vocabulary related to taxation, rights, contraception, and government policy, but frequent misuse often obscures the intended meaning.
Replace inaccurate phrases such as “take children,” “intensive decision,” “over slums,” and “tremendous amenity” with precise policy language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning can usually be recovered, but frequent errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, verb patterns, and clause construction occur throughout.
Use shorter sentence patterns and check each verb for the correct complement, such as “discourage people from having more children.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many countries are still facing problems regarding a huge population. To control the ever increasing population many people believe that Government can control the population through taxes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.