Excessive population increase is raising the pressure on earth. Therefore it is individual's responsibility to utilise earthly resources adequately. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Sample Response
AdvancesAdvancement in technology and social revolutions have opened various avenues for humankindthe humankind. People are exploring each and every viable resource provided by the Earthoption produced by the Earth for their livelihoods and comfortslivelihood and luxury. Have it been an excess utilisation of electricity, water, fertile lands for agriculture, or natural gas resources, mother earth has been exploited to a great extent! In apropos of the argument, though I agree that dwellers can spend natural resources with appropriate concoction, notwithstanding I am convinced that government must pass legislation to prevent overuse of natural resources. To begin with, the world population has increased severalfoldincreased at a multifold rate in the past three decades, increasing the usewhich has increased the usage of natural resources throughout the world. These are limited in quantity, so they should be used with adequate deliberation, else it is certain that the human has to live without them in coming years or so. This can be supported by a report fromconfirmed by the report from the environmental department of India that has warned peoplewarned the human to use water and coal in limited amountsamount to conserve them for future. Hence, people must actthe human must act intelligently to prevent the shortage of essential resourcesmandatory ingredients of life.
Nevertheless, the responsibility of using the natural resources prudently should not fall only on citizens but also on a government. It is a government's duty to impose regulationspass obligations to use such resources sensibly. If the lawmakers can pass proper laws to save the mother planet, then residents will comply with themresidents will certainly follow it. Evidently, it will help reduce the consumption of natural resourcesoptimise the expenditure of natural constituents. For instance, nobody would use a personal vehicleuse personal vehicle to commute if the government had a fine for doing sothe provision of fine on using them. Thus, the cabinet must control overexploitation through its lawmaking authoritycontrol the overexploitation using their lawmaking ability.
To sum up, although responsible use of natural resources is every citizen's duty,while deliberate usage of natural resources is a liability of every responsible citizen, but it is the government that can enforce itderive it forcefully.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant, qualified position that individuals should conserve resources while governments must create enforceable controls, supported by discussion of scarcity and legislation. Its main limitation is that frequent inaccurate vocabulary and malformed clauses obscure otherwise useful ideas; the highest-priority improvement is to express the shared-responsibility argument in direct language and support government measures with a realistic, clearly explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses individual responsibility, qualifies it with a clear role for government, and develops both aspects, though some evidence is weak or implausible.
Explain how one realistic policy would reduce resource use and connect it directly to the writer’s degree of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from scarcity and individual action to government intervention and a concise conclusion, with generally clear paragraphing.
Simplify the opening and use more precise transitions so the qualified position is immediately clear and consistently traced.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad formal vocabulary, but frequent misused words and collocations often reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace strained phrases such as “appropriate concoction,” “pass obligations,” and “natural constituents” with direct resource-management vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but recurrent errors in clause formation, articles, agreement, and conjunctions sometimes hinder readability.
Build shorter complete clauses and avoid double conjunctions such as “while … but” and “though … notwithstanding.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Excessive population increase is raising the pressure on earth. Therefore it is individual's responsibility to utilise earthly resources adequately. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.