Excessive population increase is raising the pressure on earth. Therefore it is individual's responsibility to utilise earthly resources adequately. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Sample Response
Advancement in technology and social revolutions have opened various avenues for the humankind. People are exploring each and every viable option produced by the Earth for their livelihood and luxury. Have it been an excess utilisation of electricity, water, fertile lands for agriculture, or natural gas resources, mother earth has been exploited to a great extent! In apropos of the argument, though I agree that dwellers can spend natural resources with appropriate concoction, notwithstanding I am convinced that government must pass legislation to prevent overuse of natural resources. To begin with, the world population has increased at a multifold rate in the past three decades, which has increased the usage of natural resources throughout the world. These are limited in quantity, so they should be used with adequate deliberation, else it is certain that the human has to live without them in coming years or so. This can be confirmed by the report from the environmental department of India that has warned the human to use water and coal in limited amount to conserve them for future. Hence, the human must act intelligently to prevent the shortage of mandatory ingredients of life.
Nevertheless, the responsibility of using the natural resources prudently should not fall only on citizens but also on a government. It is a government's duty to pass obligations to use such resources sensibly. If the lawmakers can pass proper laws to save the mother planet, then residents will certainly follow it. Evidently, it will help optimise the expenditure of natural constituents. For instance, nobody would use personal vehicle to commute if the government had the provision of fine on using them. Thus, the cabinet must control the overexploitation using their lawmaking ability.
To sum up, while deliberate usage of natural resources is a liability of every responsible citizen, but it is the government that can derive it forcefully.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the standard plural phrase Original: Advancement Suggested revision: Advances Why it matters: Technological progress is conventionally described as 'advances in technology'.
- 2. Remove the unnecessary article Original: the humankind Suggested revision: humankind Why it matters: The uncountable collective noun 'humankind' does not take 'the' here.
- 3. Name natural resources accurately Original: option produced by the Earth Suggested revision: resource provided by the Earth Why it matters: The Earth provides resources rather than producing options for people to explore.
- 4. Use natural plural nouns Original: livelihood and luxury Suggested revision: livelihoods and comforts Why it matters: The plural nouns better express people's varied practical and nonessential uses of resources.
- 5. Use the correct growth expression Original: increased at a multifold rate Suggested revision: increased severalfold Why it matters: 'Severalfold' is the standard adverb for growth by multiple times.
- 6. Use a result clause Original: which has increased the usage Suggested revision: increasing the use Why it matters: The participle clause expresses the consequence concisely and avoids repeating 'increased'.
- 7. Use an evidence phrase Original: confirmed by the report from Suggested revision: supported by a report from Why it matters: A report can support a claim, while it cannot definitively confirm this broad prediction.
- 8. Refer to people naturally Original: warned the human Suggested revision: warned people Why it matters: 'The human' does not refer naturally to people as a group.
- 9. Use the plural count phrase Original: amount Suggested revision: amounts Why it matters: Different resources are used in separate quantities, so the plural 'amounts' is required.
- 10. Use a natural collective noun Original: the human must act Suggested revision: people must act Why it matters: 'People' is the natural plural noun for humanity in this statement.
- 11. Name essential resources directly Original: mandatory ingredients of life Suggested revision: essential resources Why it matters: The phrase 'mandatory ingredients' is an unnatural description of water, coal, and similar resources.
- 12. Use a legal collocation Original: pass obligations Suggested revision: impose regulations Why it matters: Governments impose regulations rather than pass obligations.
Suggested Rewrites
- Advancement Advances
- the humankind humankind
- option produced by the Earth resource provided by the Earth
- livelihood and luxury livelihoods and comforts
- increased at a multifold rate increased severalfold
- which has increased the usage increasing the use
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant, qualified position that individuals should conserve resources while governments must create enforceable controls, supported by discussion of scarcity and legislation. Its main limitation is that frequent inaccurate vocabulary and malformed clauses obscure otherwise useful ideas; the highest-priority improvement is to express the shared-responsibility argument in direct language and support government measures with a realistic, clearly explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses individual responsibility, qualifies it with a clear role for government, and develops both aspects, though some evidence is weak or implausible.
Explain how one realistic policy would reduce resource use and connect it directly to the writer’s degree of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from scarcity and individual action to government intervention and a concise conclusion, with generally clear paragraphing.
Simplify the opening and use more precise transitions so the qualified position is immediately clear and consistently traced.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad formal vocabulary, but frequent misused words and collocations often reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace strained phrases such as “appropriate concoction,” “pass obligations,” and “natural constituents” with direct resource-management vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but recurrent errors in clause formation, articles, agreement, and conjunctions sometimes hinder readability.
Build shorter complete clauses and avoid double conjunctions such as “while … but” and “though … notwithstanding.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Excessive population increase is raising the pressure on earth. Therefore it is individual's responsibility to utilise earthly resources adequately. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.