Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills like car maintenance, opening a bank account or learning about other traditional skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
It is true that children learn educational subjects at school, but not many hands-on skills. I completely disagree that schools should teach services like bank account management and car maintenance.
On the one hand, school curriculum plays a vital role in students’ career. Firstly, children could give full attention to the subjects that they are studying, and it would improvise their knowledge extensively. Secondly, the youngsters’ timetable is already full, and they do not have time to learn everyday skills. For instance, I remember when I was at school most of my time spent on subjects such as English, Mathematics, and Science than other services. Finally, teaching practical abilities at school is a waste of time that could be learned in the future.
On the other hand, teaching useful proficiency at school is not required instead they can utilise it for their syllabus. Bank account maintenance is very simple and easy to learn in their future. For example, I was never taught this skill when I was studying at school but I could manage quite well by opening an account with the bank. There are numerous specialised shops available for repairing vehicles and it should be redundant for school kids. Moreover, teens are not very keen to exercise this kind of skills at school lever rather than trying for their future generation.
In conclusion, I believe that more importance should be given the educational subjects instead of teaching other everyday assistances. The student career will deter when they try to focus on this kind of practical skills and it should be avoided for the bright future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use academic phrasing Original: children learn educational subjects Suggested revision: children study academic subjects Why it matters: Academic subjects is the more natural term for school subjects such as English, Mathematics, and Science.
- 2. Correct word choice Original: teach services like Suggested revision: teach practical skills such as Why it matters: Services cannot be taught in this context; the examples are practical skills.
- 3. Add the article Original: school curriculum Suggested revision: the school curriculum Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs a definite article here.
- 4. Use plural careers Original: career Suggested revision: careers Why it matters: The plural possessive students’ requires the plural noun careers when referring to multiple students.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: could give full attention Suggested revision: can devote their full attention Why it matters: Devote their full attention is the natural collocation for sustained focus.
- 6. Correct the verb Original: improvise their knowledge extensively Suggested revision: greatly improve their knowledge Why it matters: Improvise means create spontaneously and does not mean increase knowledge.
- 7. Match plural ownership Original: the youngsters’ timetable Suggested revision: youngsters’ timetables Why it matters: Multiple youngsters normally have separate timetables, so both nouns should be plural.
- 8. Name the skill naturally Original: Bank account maintenance Suggested revision: Managing a bank account Why it matters: Managing a bank account is the idiomatic expression for this practical skill.
- 9. Use time phrase Original: learn in their future Suggested revision: learn later in life Why it matters: Later in life expresses the intended future time naturally.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: studying at school Suggested revision: at school Why it matters: At school already conveys that the writer was studying there.
- 11. Clarify the event Original: by opening an account with the bank Suggested revision: when I opened a bank account Why it matters: The revision makes the timing and action clearer and uses the usual bank account collocation.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: it should be redundant for school kids Suggested revision: car-maintenance lessons are therefore unnecessary for schoolchildren Why it matters: The pronoun it has no clear singular referent, and redundant is misused here.
Suggested Rewrites
- children learn educational subjects children study academic subjects
- teach services like teach practical skills such as
- school curriculum the school curriculum
- career careers
- could give full attention can devote their full attention
- improvise their knowledge extensively greatly improve their knowledge
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and organizes relevant reasons into distinct paragraphs, so its central argument is easy to follow. However, several points are only loosely explained, and frequent inaccurate word choices and sentence-level errors sometimes make the intended meaning awkward or unclear. The highest priority is to develop each reason with a precise explanation and then revise collocations and sentence structures for natural, accurate expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, though several ideas remain insufficiently developed or logically imprecise.
Explain exactly how each proposed practical lesson would affect pupils and support each claim with a convincing example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear paragraph structure and broadly logical progression, but mechanical sequencing and awkward connections weaken cohesion.
Use linking language more selectively and ensure that each sentence develops the paragraph's central reason directly.
Lexical Resource
There is some range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and sometimes strain meaning.
Replace misused terms such as services and assistances with precise topic vocabulary, and check collocations during revision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms communicates the main message, but recurring errors in clauses, articles, agreement, and phrasing limit control.
Prioritize accurate clause construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting additional complex sentence patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills like car maintenance, opening a bank account or learning about other traditional skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.