When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
These days, it has become a fashionable trend for a country to try to developfor a country trying to develop its technology. However, at the same time, this trendcondition has changed and made several aspects such as traditional skills and ways of lifeability as well as the way of life ignored by society. Some argue that it will be useless to revive themmake it up or keep them alivekeep it sustains because technology automatically bringsautomatically technology brings a lot of changesa lot changes to the society. Personally, I strongly disagree that technology will bring negative impacts onfor a country when a country tries to adoptadapt it. I will explain that in this essay according to my opinions and views.
Firstly, technology plays a vital roletakes a vaccinating role in the global society, especially for a country. A country that adopts technologytries to adapt technology as the foundation of lifestyle indirectly traditional aspects will improve and a country will find a platform to promote their culture globally. For example, Japan as a country shows progressive development in technology by creating many technological innovationsmany variations of technology. Japan still makes their culture well known toknown well by people around the world. At the same time, a lot of discoveries or inventions were madefindings or creations were done by experts in Japan but traditional skills or the way of life still remain the sameremain same.
Furthermore, technology helps to promote cultural and traditional aspects offrom a country. Today many countries tendthere are many countries tend to use technology to introduce their culture as well as their lifestyle in different parts of the world. For instance, Indonesia's MinistryFor instance Indonesia, Ministry of Information and Technology succeeded in promotingsucceed to promote culture and Indonesian lifestyle in South East Asia region during SEA Olympiad by using the internet and mobile television. Based on research by Indonesian media association 25,000 people were reached25,000 people reached because the way of advertising by using technology.
In conclusion, even though some people still believe that technology will change a lot of aspects of a country but I believe that technology supports a country’s development, society to be introduced, and make a country well known worldwide when a country develop technology in the right way.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant ideas about technology preserving and promoting culture. Its main limitation is that these ideas overlap and are developed through examples that remain vague or awkwardly explained, while frequent language errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining one distinct mechanism in each body paragraph and revising sentence structure and word combinations so the argument is consistently easy to follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and the central claim that technology can preserve culture is relevant but only moderately developed.
Develop separate, well-explained reasons addressing both traditional skills and ways of life, with examples that clearly prove each claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a recognisable introduction-body-conclusion structure, although progression is weakened by overlapping body ideas and some unclear connections.
Give each body paragraph a distinct controlling idea and make every supporting sentence advance that idea in a clear sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as inappropriate verb-noun combinations with familiar, precise collocations and check that each chosen word conveys the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is an attempt to use complex sentences, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make meaning difficult to follow.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each sentence for articles and verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.