When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
These days, it has become a fashionable trend for a country trying to develop its technology. However, at the same time, this condition has changed and made several aspects such as ability as well as the way of life ignored by society. Some argue that it will be useless to make it up or keep it sustains because automatically technology brings a lot changes to the society. Personally, I strongly disagree that technology will bring negative impacts for a country when a country tries to adapt it. I will explain that in this essay according to my opinions and views.
Firstly, technology takes a vaccinating role in the global society, especially for a country. A country that tries to adapt technology as the foundation of lifestyle indirectly traditional aspects will improve and a country will find a platform to promote their culture globally. For example, Japan as a country shows progressive development in technology by creating many variations of technology. Japan still makes their culture known well by people around the world. At the same time, a lot of findings or creations were done by experts in Japan but traditional skills or the way of life still remain same.
Furthermore, technology helps to promote cultural and traditional aspects from a country. Today there are many countries tend to use technology to introduce their culture as well as their lifestyle in different parts of the world. For instance Indonesia, Ministry of Information and Technology succeed to promote culture and Indonesian lifestyle in South East Asia region during SEA Olympiad by using the internet and mobile television. Based on research by Indonesian media association 25,000 people reached because the way of advertising by using technology.
In conclusion, even though some people still believe that technology will change a lot of aspects of a country but I believe that technology supports a country’s development, society to be introduced, and make a country well known worldwide when a country develop technology in the right way.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct infinitive form Original: for a country trying to develop Suggested revision: for a country to try to develop Why it matters: Use an infinitive after the phrase describing a trend for a country.
- 2. Use precise reference Original: condition Suggested revision: trend Why it matters: Trend refers more precisely to the technological development introduced previously.
- 3. Match the topic terms Original: ability as well as the way of life Suggested revision: traditional skills and ways of life Why it matters: These terms accurately identify the cultural features discussed in the task.
- 4. Correct phrasal verb Original: make it up Suggested revision: revive them Why it matters: Make it up does not mean restore disappearing traditions in this context.
- 5. Fix verb and pronoun Original: keep it sustains Suggested revision: keep them alive Why it matters: The plural pronoun and adjective form are required for traditional skills and ways of life.
- 6. Correct adverb position Original: automatically technology brings Suggested revision: technology automatically brings Why it matters: Place the adverb after the subject and before the main verb.
- 7. Add missing preposition Original: a lot changes Suggested revision: a lot of changes Why it matters: The quantifier a lot requires of before a plural noun.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Impact conventionally takes the preposition on before the affected entity.
- 9. Choose the right verb Original: adapt Suggested revision: adopt Why it matters: Adopt means begin using technology, whereas adapt means modify something.
- 10. Correct collocation Original: takes a vaccinating role Suggested revision: plays a vital role Why it matters: Plays a vital role is the appropriate expression for having great importance.
- 11. Use accurate verb Original: tries to adapt technology Suggested revision: adopts technology Why it matters: Adopts accurately expresses a country's decision to begin using technology.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: many variations of technology Suggested revision: many technological innovations Why it matters: Technological innovations expresses new technological creations more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- for a country trying to develop for a country to try to develop
- condition trend
- ability as well as the way of life traditional skills and ways of life
- make it up revive them
- keep it sustains keep them alive
- automatically technology brings technology automatically brings
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant ideas about technology preserving and promoting culture. Its main limitation is that these ideas overlap and are developed through examples that remain vague or awkwardly explained, while frequent language errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining one distinct mechanism in each body paragraph and revising sentence structure and word combinations so the argument is consistently easy to follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and the central claim that technology can preserve culture is relevant but only moderately developed.
Develop separate, well-explained reasons addressing both traditional skills and ways of life, with examples that clearly prove each claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a recognisable introduction-body-conclusion structure, although progression is weakened by overlapping body ideas and some unclear connections.
Give each body paragraph a distinct controlling idea and make every supporting sentence advance that idea in a clear sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as inappropriate verb-noun combinations with familiar, precise collocations and check that each chosen word conveys the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is an attempt to use complex sentences, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make meaning difficult to follow.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each sentence for articles and verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.