The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of taxpayer's money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that jails play a vital role to decelerate the crime rates by imposing imprisonment on the offenders. Several developmental programs are provided to the prisoners to upgrade their social attitude and transform their mind towards positivity. However, many people believe that these activities do not draw benefits, rather than it is a matter of complete vain. Although, I contend opposite of the given statement and in further I will provide several advantages of the present setup of prison.
First of all, it is undeniable that, captivity helps to reduce crimes in society. Nowadays people get apprehensive to embark on any violated activity. Because the negative impacts of imprisonment are numerous. For instance, this lead to loss of social respect and captive’s family passes their days as like a terrible nightmare. Additionally. Imprisonment develops fear, guilt inside criminals mind, therefore they realise their faults and stay away from further explicable acts. Sometimes, it is also a perfect way of taking revenge for the victims.
Moreover, in present time many voluntary developmental programs and workshops are ongoing in the prisons of almost all the countries. By getting vocational training, prisoners can expect a better life outside. For example, a thief who steal someone’s belongings, in turn, to get money and food, may not engage in further crime as he has adequate skills and learnings to be employed and thus, lead a respectable life. Various educational programs can motivate and diverse the criminal attitudes towards a better life which is not only benefiting the individual but also deterring crime in the society.
To sum up, jails are one of the important parts of our community which is dealing strongly with the criminals and criminal activity, despite having any trade-off. While the recent addition of educational and developmental training programs are necessary for both individual and community.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: play a vital role to decelerate the crime rates Suggested revision: play a vital role in reducing crime rates Why it matters: The revised phrase uses the natural preposition and a clearer verb for lowering crime.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: on the offenders Suggested revision: on offenders Why it matters: The general reference to offenders does not require the definite article.
- 3. Generalize the noun Original: provided to the prisoners Suggested revision: provided to prisoners Why it matters: The noun refers to prisoners generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 4. Improve word choice Original: upgrade their social attitude Suggested revision: improve their social attitudes Why it matters: Improve collocates naturally with attitudes, and the plural fits multiple prisoners.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: mind Suggested revision: mindsets Why it matters: A plural possessive subject requires a plural noun here.
- 6. Use correct collocation Original: draw Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: Activities provide benefits rather than draw them.
- 7. Fix contrast link Original: rather than it is Suggested revision: rather, they are Why it matters: Rather than cannot introduce this independent contrasting clause in the current structure.
- 8. Use the correct noun Original: vain Suggested revision: waste Why it matters: Vain is an adjective, whereas waste is the noun needed after a matter of.
- 9. Fix transition Original: Although Suggested revision: However Why it matters: Although introduces a dependent clause, while However correctly links this independent sentence.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: contend opposite of Suggested revision: take the opposite view to Why it matters: The replacement expresses disagreement in standard academic English.
- 11. Fix forward reference Original: and in further I Suggested revision: and below I Why it matters: Below is the natural adverb for referring to the discussion that follows.
- 12. Clarify the system Original: present setup of prison Suggested revision: current prison system Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and accurately names the institutional arrangement.
Suggested Rewrites
- play a vital role to decelerate the crime rates play a vital role in reducing crime rates
- on the offenders on offenders
- provided to the prisoners provided to prisoners
- upgrade their social attitude improve their social attitudes
- mind mindsets
- draw provide
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement with the claim and offers relevant reasons why punishment and rehabilitation can reduce crime. Its main limitation is that ideas are sometimes loosely expressed or only partly developed, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision and interrupt the flow. The highest priority is to build each reason through a clear claim-and-explanation sequence, then proofread sentence boundaries, agreement, and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opposing position is sustained, with relevant discussion of punishment and the value of vocational and educational programmes.
Develop the rehabilitation argument more fully by explaining exactly how education reduces reoffending and why this justifies taxpayer funding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable introduction, body progression, and conclusion, but fragments and abrupt links sometimes disrupt the logical flow.
Use complete sentences and clearer claim-to-example connections within each body paragraph instead of relying on isolated linking expressions.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as abstract verb-noun pairings with simpler, established expressions that convey the intended meaning exactly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and clause construction limit control.
Prioritize complete clause structures and check subject-verb agreement before adding more complex grammatical patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of taxpayer's money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.