The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars?
Sample Response
Personal cars have become an essential part of our life due to a variety of benefits it offers including easy access to different facilities and services, safety, freedom to travel, and comfort of the journey. However, these advantages come with a cost, and among them, environmental degradation and traffic congestion are two major concerns. We can improve the public transportation system and gradually increase fuel prices to discourage people from using private cars while also investing in eco-friendly cars. Problems associated with increasing car use are huge, and its environmental impacts are a great concern for many. Automobiles are a big source of carbon dioxide emission and greenhouse effects and not to mention, air and sound pollution in urban areas all around the world. Vehicle exhausts contribute to global warming, acid rain and many health-related problems. Climate change is already affecting millions of people's lives and hurting the ecological balance, and it is terrifying to think about what the ever-increasing vehicles on the roads would do to our planet in the future unless we do something to reverse it. Moreover, personal cars are the reason we face horrendous traffic jam almost every day which kills our valuable time and negatively affect our productivity. To address these problems, some people suggest that the government should impose strict restrictions on car ownership and increase the tax on car purchasing to a staggering height. However, the mobility and flexibility of personal cars are essential in our life, and I am absolutely against taking any drastic measures. Rather, we should improve our public transportation facility to a great extent so that people prefer to use public buses and trains rather than driving. Another measure could be to slowly increase fuel prices which would deter many people from using and driving cars. Moreover, car manufacturers should invest in environment-friendly solar or hydrogen-powered cars to reduce the negative impacts of cars on the environment and the government should improve the roads to reduce traffic congestion. In conclusion, restricting the use of cars overnight might seem like a quick and effective solution, but practically speaking, it is not a proper solution. We want to use cars for the freedom of our mobility but have to come up with eco-friendly cars to reduce their negative impacts.
M odel
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The general reference to multiple people's lives requires the plural noun.
- 2. Match plural subject Original: benefits it offers Suggested revision: benefits they offer Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural antecedent personal cars.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: comfort of the journey Suggested revision: comfortable journeys Why it matters: The adjective and plural noun express this general benefit more naturally.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: with Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Come at a cost is the correct fixed expression.
- 5. Use precise adjective Original: huge Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: Serious naturally describes the severity of problems, whereas huge is imprecise.
- 6. Match plural reference Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The possessive pronoun must refer to the plural problems.
- 7. Use standard term Original: sound Suggested revision: noise Why it matters: Noise pollution is the established term for harmful urban sound.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: exhausts Suggested revision: exhaust Why it matters: Exhaust is uncountable when referring generally to vehicle emissions.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: horrendous traffic jam Suggested revision: severe traffic jams Why it matters: The recurring general problem requires a plural noun, and severe is more formal than horrendous.
- 10. Match plural antecedent Original: kills Suggested revision: waste Why it matters: The relative verb must agree with the plural antecedent traffic jams.
- 11. Use natural noun phrase Original: purchasing Suggested revision: purchases Why it matters: Car purchases is the natural countable noun phrase for taxable transactions.
- 12. Fix collocation Original: to a staggering height Suggested revision: to a very high level Why it matters: Taxes rise to a level, not to a height.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- benefits it offers benefits they offer
- comfort of the journey comfortable journeys
- with at
- huge serious
- its their
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response fully addresses both parts of the task, clearly identifying environmental damage and congestion before arguing for gradual discouragement through better transport, fuel pricing, and cleaner vehicles. Its main limitation is presentation as a single dense paragraph, alongside several imprecise collocations and agreement errors. Prioritise clear paragraph divisions and a final language edit so the well-developed argument is easier to follow and more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the problems and the question of discouraging car use are addressed directly through a clear, nuanced position and well-developed solutions.
Clarify how each proposed measure specifically reduces either congestion or environmental harm to make the response even more exact.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from problems to policy responses, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph substantially weakens its organisation.
Separate the introduction, environmental problems, congestion and solutions, and conclusion into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of relevant environmental and transport vocabulary is used effectively, despite several awkward or inaccurate collocations.
Refine expressions such as greenhouse gas emissions, noise pollution, traffic jams, and taxes on car purchases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures communicate the ideas clearly, although agreement, article, and singular-plural errors recur.
Proofread every sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent noun number, especially when referring to cars, impacts, and traffic problems.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.