Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is commonly thought by many that professional sports athletics to mischievous on and off the arena until they are performing better. I believe sports personalities should behave politely to anyone despite having a lot of fame. Firstly this essay shall discuss how this kind of star personality influences on next generations; secondly, it will argue that such people have not the special status is given by any higher authority as they are also part of the system.
Every country has abundant sports participants, who are certainly putting a lot of effort and hard work to bring glory for their respective nations. For many individuals, sportsmen are arrogant and selfish once they achieved fame and reach the top position. However, many personalities their arrogance off the field as well on the field which hurt many civilians. As we all aware about sport is part of daily which produces imputes in our kids, teenagers, and adult so their behavior similarly plays a vital role. For instance, in India cricket is a festival, where players are deity. Unfortunately, many cricketers show off their worse attitude and approach badly towards their fans off the field which sets the wrong example for youth. Thus, Sportsmen or sportswomen should behave responsively as they are the ones who ambassador for the next generations.
In addition, we all are on the same page in the world where we united and live peacefully. Sports athletics are not granted special status or authority to act badly or behave rudely towards common men or women. For example, in 2018 one of the UFC champions approached madly his opponent in the parking spot which cost him a suspension from the tournament and certain amounts penalty. Therefore, sports stars are encouraged for their works but law and legal process should be the same for all.
To conclude, athletic should behave in a good manner to set a good example in society as we all love sports and inspire them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: behave politely to anyone Suggested revision: behave respectfully towards everyone Why it matters: The revised collocation expresses appropriate conduct more naturally.
- 2. Fix preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'bring glory to' a country or group.
- 3. Keep tense consistent Original: achieved Suggested revision: achieve Why it matters: Both coordinated verbs should use the present tense for this general claim.
- 4. Add the missing verb Original: many personalities their arrogance Suggested revision: many sports personalities show their arrogance Why it matters: The clause needs a finite verb to form a complete proposition.
- 5. Complete paired phrase Original: as well on the field Suggested revision: as well as on the field Why it matters: The paired expression requires 'as well as'.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: which hurt many civilians Suggested revision: which hurts many members of the public Why it matters: The relative clause refers to singular 'arrogance', so its verb must be singular.
- 7. Clarify the comparison Original: players are deity Suggested revision: players are treated as deities Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly expresses the figurative status given to the players.
- 8. Use correct comparison Original: their worse attitude Suggested revision: a bad attitude Why it matters: 'Worse' requires an explicit comparison, which the sentence does not provide.
- 9. Use natural verb Original: approach Suggested revision: behave Why it matters: 'Behave' is the appropriate verb for describing the players' conduct.
- 10. Choose intended adverb Original: responsively Suggested revision: responsibly Why it matters: 'Responsibly' describes proper conduct, whereas 'responsively' means reacting readily.
- 11. Repair relative clause Original: who ambassador for the next generations Suggested revision: who serve as ambassadors for the next generation Why it matters: The relative clause needs a verb and a correctly formed complement.
- 12. Use correct noun Original: Sports athletics are not Suggested revision: Professional athletes are not Why it matters: 'Athletes' names the people, while 'athletics' refers to a sport or field of activity.
Suggested Rewrites
- behave politely to anyone behave respectfully towards everyone
- for to
- achieved achieve
- many personalities their arrogance many sports personalities show their arrogance
- as well on the field as well as on the field
- which hurt many civilians which hurts many members of the public
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent disagreement and supports it with two relevant lines of argument, especially the idea that athletes influence younger people. Its effectiveness is reduced by frequent grammatical breakdowns and inaccurate vocabulary, which sometimes obscure otherwise sensible reasoning. The highest priority is to express each supporting point in shorter, well-controlled sentences, using precise terms for athletes, conduct, influence, and legal accountability.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the two relevant arguments are supported with examples, although some explanation remains generalized or imprecise.
Explain more directly how each example proves that good performance cannot excuse misconduct.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through an introduction, two distinct reasons, and a conclusion, despite some formulaic linking and unclear internal connections.
Strengthen progression within body paragraphs by placing each claim, explanation, and example in a clear logical sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss influence and equal treatment, but frequent misuse of words and collocations sometimes impedes clarity.
Use precise, familiar terms such as professional athletes, role models, misconduct, and equal treatment under the law.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb patterns often disrupt readability.
Rewrite long sentences as shorter clauses and systematically check that each clause has a correct subject and finite verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.