Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many environmentalists feel that people today have a responsibility to ensure the Earth is left in good condition for future generations. In my opinion, though this duty is unfair, it is nonetheless a burden that must be taken up.
Those who argue against this sentiment can justly assign blame elsewhere. The main contributors to climate change and the current cataclysmic warnings were the large industrial powers on the 20th century. Automobiles and air travel became common in the last 100 years and are two leading drivers of the fossil fuel consumption many scientists link to global warming. Surging populations and advances in medicine have also contributed greatly to the over-production and mass consumption that defines the 21st century. It is objectively unfair that people today, and primarily the younger generation only now entering the workforce, should have to suffer for the thoughtlessness of wanton industrialisation.
Regardless, it is the responsibility of the present generation to take heed of these potentially dire warnings. People in the past were either intentionally or unintentionally unaware of the repercussions of their actions but individuals today cannot make such excuses. For example, the rapidly deteriorating polar ice caps are directly impacting the natural habitats of animals around the world and some climate scientists believe that an uptick in natural disasters is also related to this and other man-made changes to the ecosystem. Past generations who set the world on this path cannot come back and remedy their mistakes and future generations will resent the current one if steps are not taken towards drastic reforms.
In conclusion, though people today bear little responsibility for climate change, they must commit to reversing its effects. Leaving this problem for the children of the future will put them in a potentially unwinnable situation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct collocation Original: current cataclysmic warnings Suggested revision: current warnings of catastrophe Why it matters: Warnings can concern a catastrophe but are not themselves cataclysmic.
- 2. Fix time preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Centuries take the preposition “in.”
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: two leading drivers of the fossil fuel consumption Suggested revision: two leading drivers of fossil fuel consumption Why it matters: “Fossil fuel consumption” is used as an uncountable general concept here.
- 4. Clarify excess Original: over-production Suggested revision: excessive production Why it matters: The revision expresses the idea of producing too much in a direct academic phrase.
- 5. Avoid semantic overlap Original: thoughtlessness of wanton industrialisation Suggested revision: recklessness of unrestrained industrialisation Why it matters: The revision avoids the awkward overlap between “thoughtlessness” and “wanton.”
- 6. Remove illogical pairing Original: either intentionally or unintentionally unaware Suggested revision: unaware Why it matters: Being unaware cannot logically be described as intentional in this construction.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: impacting Suggested revision: affecting Why it matters: “Affecting” is the more precise formal verb in this context.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: related to this and other man-made changes Suggested revision: related to these and other human-induced changes Why it matters: “These” refers more clearly to the previously described environmental changes.
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: cannot come back and remedy Suggested revision: cannot return to remedy Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and formal while preserving the meaning.
- 10. Correct reform collocation Original: steps are not taken towards drastic reforms Suggested revision: drastic reforms are not implemented Why it matters: Reforms are implemented rather than approached through unspecified steps.
- 11. Use precise claim Original: reversing Suggested revision: mitigating Why it matters: “Mitigating” more precisely describes reducing harmful effects.
Suggested Rewrites
- current cataclysmic warnings current warnings of catastrophe
- on in
- two leading drivers of the fossil fuel consumption two leading drivers of fossil fuel consumption
- over-production excessive production
- thoughtlessness of wanton industrialisation recklessness of unrestrained industrialisation
- either intentionally or unintentionally unaware unaware
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops it through a well-controlled contrast between historical responsibility and present-day obligation. Its reasoning is persuasive and supported by relevant environmental examples, while the main limitation is that a few claims are broad and one or two expressions are slightly inaccurate. The priority is to sharpen factual and grammatical precision while preserving the essay's focused argument and fluent progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully answers the extent question with a clear qualified agreement that is consistently developed and supported.
Strengthen the argument further by making the proposed nature of the present generation's action slightly more concrete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically across well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the contrast without drawing attention to themselves.
Make the transition from historical responsibility to current obligation even tighter by explicitly linking the final sentence of the first body paragraph to the next claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, precise, and natural overall, with strong control of environmental and argumentative language.
Refine the few less precise combinations, particularly the reference to 'cataclysmic warnings' and the phrasing around fossil-fuel consumption.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare non-impeding errors.
Eliminate isolated slips such as 'on the 20th century' and check punctuation where long coordinated clauses meet.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.