Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Ancient buildings are relics of the past and should be preserved, in the view of some people. Others, however, believe that the appearance of modern buildings will open a new horizon for the development of a nation. My essay will discuss the validity of both sides.
The ancient houses are, first, believed to the reservoir of the glorious past of a nation. With their existence along each road, it is undeniable that no sooner does young generation grow up than they become proud of their country’s admirable old-day history through the image of roof, ceiling and walls. Philosophically speaking, like a person who clings to the past to reflect, views the present to enjoy and contemplates the future, a city itself entails an inextricable link of these three-time axes to revise, thrive and fly. Nevertheless, in case of derelict old houses, such experience of living in these shelters could be a nightmare to quite a few people, for instance, Hanoi people who are suffering a low-quality life in an ancient street. It is a common-scene to some that three to four households have only one toilet system with their wall painting layers bound to peel off and their ceilings sagging owing to weathering.
Another rationale is that these old houses are symbolic of the unique architecture and serve as a mental panacea for hurry-sickness city-dwellers. Hardly can the modern-day people recreate such beauties as that by famous architects of yesterdays who utilized the past materials, and for that reason, some streets adorned with second-to-none buildings are ideal destinations for the visitors world-wide to savour themselves in the sense of serene old days. To those who are sucking in a life of craze, the tiny old houses resemble oases to ease their stress. Opponents have their points in the belief that as a result of the explosion of population, so crowded do streets turn out that these old, unsafe and dirty houses should be demolished to give way to skyscrapers to accommodate an ever-increasing number of people who flock to the city in the hope of a better life. Also, not until the cities are paved with modern buildings and wide roads do investors from other continents pay greater attention, which, in turn, generates a huge amount of profit for the entire nation.
In the final analysis, each idea has its own reasoning, but in my opinion, the presence of old houses is essential to the survival of any city for their originality and unforgettable destinations of travel lovers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing verb Original: believed to the reservoir Suggested revision: believed to be a repository Why it matters: The passive construction requires be, while repository more naturally denotes something that preserves history.
- 2. Add required article Original: young generation Suggested revision: the younger generation Why it matters: This reference to a defined social group requires the article the.
- 3. Use natural expression Original: old-day history Suggested revision: history of the past Why it matters: Old-day history is not an idiomatic English expression.
- 4. Use plural nouns Original: image of roof, ceiling and walls Suggested revision: images of roofs, ceilings and walls Why it matters: The countable building features need plural forms in this general reference.
- 5. Clarify time reference Original: these three-time axes Suggested revision: these three dimensions of time Why it matters: Three-time axes is an unclear and incorrectly formed expression for past, present and future.
- 6. Use definite case phrase Original: in case of derelict old houses Suggested revision: in the case of derelict old houses Why it matters: The phrase describing a particular situation requires in the case of.
- 7. Add indefinite article Original: such experience Suggested revision: such an experience Why it matters: Singular countable experience requires an article here.
- 8. Name residents naturally Original: for instance, Hanoi people Suggested revision: for instance, residents of Hanoi Why it matters: Residents of Hanoi is a more natural and precise expression.
- 9. Fix quality collocation Original: a low-quality life Suggested revision: a poor quality of life Why it matters: Poor quality of life is the standard collocation for adverse living conditions.
- 10. Use correct noun phrase Original: a common-scene Suggested revision: a common situation Why it matters: Common scene is unnatural in this context and should not be hyphenated.
- 11. Clarify peeling paint Original: their wall painting layers Suggested revision: the layers of paint on their walls Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly identifies the material that is peeling.
- 12. Use noun complement Original: symbolic of the unique architecture Suggested revision: symbols of unique architecture Why it matters: The plural subject needs the noun symbols to identify what the houses represent.
Suggested Rewrites
- believed to the reservoir believed to be a repository
- young generation the younger generation
- old-day history history of the past
- image of roof, ceiling and walls images of roofs, ceilings and walls
- these three-time axes these three dimensions of time
- in case of derelict old houses in the case of derelict old houses
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response offers several substantive reasons for preserving historic buildings while also recognising housing and development pressures, and its conclusion gives a definite view. However, that position is not established clearly at the outset, and dense, highly figurative sentences often obscure otherwise relevant ideas. The priority is to state the stance early and express each supporting point in shorter, more natural, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant arguments on preservation and redevelopment are developed, and the conclusion gives a clear preference for retaining old buildings.
State the degree of agreement in the introduction and maintain that position explicitly while evaluating the opposing case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has an identifiable progression, but very long body paragraphs and overloaded sentences weaken clarity and balance.
Divide the discussion into shorter, single-purpose paragraphs and use clearer topic sentences for preservation and redevelopment.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary and attempts vivid expression, though several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer conventional academic phrasing and replace strained expressions such as hurry-sickness and sucking in a life of craze.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures and varied sentence patterns are frequent, but errors in articles, clauses, agreement, and inversion recur.
Use shorter complex sentences and check the grammatical frame of each clause before adding inversion or extended modification.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.