Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Sample Response
Parks are important to our life; they give us clean and fresh air and gives us an area of jogging, walking and playing. It is argued by many that park space can be used for residential purposes as there is a need of space due to the growing population in our societies. I believe, not only park provides relaxation and greenery; it also takes us close to nature which is lacking due to ever-growing increase of concrete buildings. Nevertheless, after hard work everyone needs relaxation and rest which most of the times is fulfilled by parks. The relaxing environment of park gives a soothing experience for anyone who is looking for tranquillity. For instance, I go to office every day and after returning I sit and relax in the park to cool down my mind from the stress which I took from my office ( Which is usually taken from my office). Moreover, parks provide shade in summers and can be used for basking in winters. People enjoy sitting under a tree or bushes which keeps them out from the hot sunshine in summer seasons. Similarly, in winters, people love to sit in the park to bask and to get rid of the cold waves. However, due to the large area acquired by the park and growing demand for residential buildings there is a need to contemplate on the need of parks. It has been evident in the past that demolishing of parks and making space for the buildings is sufficing the need of residential space. For instance, urbanisation is increasing day by day and covering large which was earlier acquired for the parks. Therefore, it is discernible that space can be made out from these parks for residential areas. In, I believe, parks are a useful part of our life, they should be demolished to make space for residential colonies. Not only they bring us close to nature, they also provide necessary oxygen and greenery which is lacking these days in the urban areas full of concrete buildings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct preposition and number Original: important to our life Suggested revision: important in our lives Why it matters: In our lives is the idiomatic phrase and uses the appropriate plural noun.
- 2. Fix subject agreement Original: gives Suggested revision: give Why it matters: The plural subject they requires the base verb give.
- 3. Correct purpose preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: For correctly introduces the activities for which the area is intended.
- 4. Correct noun preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun need takes for when it identifies what is required.
- 5. Use natural expression Original: after hard work Suggested revision: after working hard Why it matters: After working hard is a more natural way to describe the preceding effort.
- 6. Use fixed expression Original: times Suggested revision: time Why it matters: Most of the time is the standard expression for frequency.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: is fulfilled by parks Suggested revision: can be met in parks Why it matters: A need is met rather than fulfilled, and in parks identifies the setting clearly.
- 8. Add missing article Original: environment of park Suggested revision: environment of a park Why it matters: The singular count noun park requires an article here.
- 9. Improve verb choice Original: gives Suggested revision: provides Why it matters: Provides collocates more naturally with experience in this context.
- 10. Add definite article Original: go to office every day Suggested revision: go to the office every day Why it matters: Office requires the definite article in this expression.
- 11. Use natural phrase Original: cool down my mind Suggested revision: clear my mind Why it matters: Clear my mind is the idiomatic expression for relaxing after stress.
- 12. Remove confused repetition Original: the stress which I took from my office ( Which is usually taken from my office) Suggested revision: the stress from my office Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear relative clause and redundant parenthetical repetition.
Suggested Rewrites
- important to our life important in our lives
- gives give
- of for
- of for
- after hard work after working hard
- times time
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents several relevant benefits of parks and some consideration of housing pressure, supported by personal examples and a usable range of vocabulary. Its central weakness is an inconsistent position: it values parks throughout, then says they should be demolished before immediately defending them again. The priority is to state one clear degree of agreement and make every paragraph and the conclusion consistently support it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant arguments appear on both sides, but the writer's position is unclear and the conclusion directly contradicts itself.
State a definite degree of agreement in the introduction and use the conclusion to confirm that same position without contradiction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion has a recognisable movement from park benefits to housing pressure, but absent paragraphing and inaccurate transitions weaken overall progression.
Organise the response into distinct paragraphs with one controlling idea each and use transitions only when their logical relationship is accurate.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts some less common vocabulary, but frequent collocational and word-choice problems make several phrases awkward or imprecise.
Prioritise natural combinations such as need for space, relieve stress, and land occupied by parks before adding more ambitious vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, though frequent errors occur in agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement and article use, then split or recast structures whose clauses are not securely connected.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.