Many people prefer to work in the public sector, rather than in the private sector. What are the reasons for this, and what effects does it have on a country?
Sample Response
Today, in many countries, working in a workplace, which is supported by the government, has become more secured and favourable than working in a private organisation. I personally believe that this has several advantages and that is why people select it; however, its drawbacks cannot be forgotten.
To begin with, working in public sectors can have two important advantages. The first one is that working for a huge company or organisation, employers earn more nonfinancial aids than the ones working in a private sector. For instance, for those individuals working in the army in Iran, housing, accommodation or other facilities are free of charge, and even transportation costs are supported. Another benefit is that this group usually have a higher social reputation. As a prime example, a doctor practising in a public university may reach the highest level of teaching by doing research, publishing articles and participating in international symposiums and meetings; however, those working in a private hospital may not achieve such high levels of social status. Another important reason for working in a government organisation is the opportunity to serve people and the country.
Clearly, preference of working in governmental jobs can have some negative consequences, and I think its influences must be counted. One important disadvantage is that businesses will become less competitive. Obviously, governmental corporations have a better financial backup than the private sectors, and if they grow more, a monopolistic competition will ruin other private small businesses. In this case, had the government of Canada given permission to the private investors to invest in medical clinics, the quality of healthcare service would have been improved far dramatically, and more investors would have competed for a more profitable business in this section. Another effect is that the governmental budget will decrease. Definitely, to run a business, local states have to spend millions of dollars to hire more employees, but if private sectors are allowed to expand more, this expenditure will dwindle far significantly.
In conclusion, although working in public services might have several advantages, from my point of view, its drawbacks can be greater. This will lead private markets not being able to compete with the public ones, and the governmental expense will rise considerably.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: working in a workplace, which is supported by the government Suggested revision: working in a government-supported workplace Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea without the awkward relative clause.
- 2. Use adjective form Original: secured Suggested revision: secure Why it matters: 'Secure' is the adjective required after 'has become'.
- 3. Choose natural verb Original: select Suggested revision: choose Why it matters: 'Choose' is the natural verb for selecting a type of employment.
- 4. Use singular sector Original: working in public sectors Suggested revision: working in the public sector Why it matters: The established expression is 'the public sector' when referring to this area of employment generally.
- 5. Use correct collocation Original: nonfinancial aids Suggested revision: non-financial benefits Why it matters: Employee provisions are naturally described as 'benefits', not 'aids'.
- 6. Fix reference phrase Original: the ones working in a private sector Suggested revision: those working in the private sector Why it matters: 'Those' provides the correct comparison, and the established phrase uses the definite article.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: supported Suggested revision: covered Why it matters: Costs are 'covered' when an organisation pays them.
- 8. Fix agreement Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The singular collective noun 'group' takes 'has' in this construction.
- 9. Use accurate phrase Original: a higher social reputation Suggested revision: higher social status Why it matters: 'Social status' directly expresses the standing described by the example.
- 10. Use natural preposition Original: practising in a public university Suggested revision: working at a public university Why it matters: A doctor employed by a university works 'at' it rather than practises 'in' it.
- 11. Fix preposition Original: preference of working Suggested revision: a preference for working Why it matters: The noun 'preference' takes 'for' when followed by a gerund.
- 12. Use natural phrase Original: governmental Suggested revision: government Why it matters: 'Government jobs' is the conventional expression for public-sector employment.
Suggested Rewrites
- working in a workplace, which is supported by the government working in a government-supported workplace
- secured secure
- select choose
- working in public sectors working in the public sector
- nonfinancial aids non-financial benefits
- the ones working in a private sector those working in the private sector
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both parts of the task with a clear progression from reasons for public-sector preference to national consequences, and its examples give the discussion useful substance. The main limitation is frequent imprecise collocation, which occasionally weakens otherwise sophisticated arguments. The highest-priority improvement is to express the economic effects more accurately and directly, using natural combinations of words and avoiding exaggerated modifiers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both reasons and effects are addressed clearly, with several relevant explanations and examples that are generally well developed.
Make the causal link in the Canada example more plausible and directly connected to nationwide effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into clear stages, with effective paragraphing and generally controlled progression.
Reduce formulaic signposting such as Clearly and Definitely and make reference words more specific.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and ambitious, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision and flexibility.
Use more natural expressions for benefits, business competition, government funding, and changes in expenditure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is attempted successfully, though agreement, article, and clause-construction errors recur.
Check sentence openings and complements to avoid faulty structures such as working for a company, employers earn and lead markets not being able.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people prefer to work in the public sector, rather than in the private sector. What are the reasons for this, and what effects does it have on a country?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.