Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some today are calling for parents to be held responsible for crimes committed by their children. In my opinion, there are exceptions but many cases merit greater punishment for parents.
Those arguing against this reform point out that parents are not always culpable. There are numerous instances of loving parents who raise their child well but social problems still manifest from a young age. This is often the case if the child suffers from a mental illness such as schizophrenia or a dissociative disorder. These conditions may stem from simple genetics, in which case parents should not be punished, or from trauma the primary caregivers are unaware of. For example, if they have been abused at school or by a relative then it follows logically the offending, rather than innocent, party should be brought to justice.
Despite the important exceptions above that courts must sort through, parental abuse and neglect should be punishable. Studies have shown that most young children who commit crimes have been abused in some way by their parents. Serial killers are an extreme but useful case in point. Nearly every serial killer begins antisocial behaviour from a young age, including the criminal torture of animals. There are also no known examples of serial killers coming from happy homes; they are all the product of varying degrees of abuse from their parents. This is clear evidence that parents play the pivotal role in molding the psyche of young children. As children grow up and have more influences this may change but for young children, parents are chiefly responsible and courts should recognise this fact.
In conclusion, there are some cases where parents may not be at fault for criminal acts by children but in most situations they are the driving force. Trying parents for their child’s crime and seeking treatment for the children would therefore be a modern, progressive, and positive reform.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise collocation Original: greater punishment for parents Suggested revision: harsher penalties for parents Why it matters: Penalties are more naturally described as 'harsher' than punishment as 'greater'.
- 2. Use accurate reference Original: reform Suggested revision: proposal Why it matters: At this point the policy is being discussed as a proposal rather than an enacted reform.
- 3. Match plural reference Original: child Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The plural subject 'parents' is more consistently matched by the plural noun 'children'.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: social problems still manifest from a young age Suggested revision: social problems can still emerge at a young age Why it matters: Problems naturally 'emerge at' an age rather than 'manifest from' an age.
- 5. Use precise term Original: simple genetics Suggested revision: genetic factors Why it matters: 'Genetic factors' is a more precise formal expression than 'simple genetics'.
- 6. Clarify relative clause Original: trauma the primary caregivers are unaware of Suggested revision: trauma of which their primary caregivers are unaware Why it matters: The relative construction makes the relationship between the trauma and the caregivers clearer.
- 7. Clarify pronoun reference Original: if they have been abused Suggested revision: if the child has been abused Why it matters: The pronoun 'they' could refer to the caregivers rather than the child.
- 8. Use correct noun Original: the offending, rather than innocent, party Suggested revision: the offender, rather than an innocent party, Why it matters: 'Offender' names the person responsible, while 'offending party' is awkward in this context.
- 9. Improve formal wording Original: exceptions above that courts must sort through Suggested revision: exceptions described above that courts must consider Why it matters: Courts 'consider' exceptions, while 'sort through' is comparatively informal and imprecise.
- 10. Fix verb collocation Original: begins Suggested revision: exhibits Why it matters: A person 'exhibits' behaviour rather than 'begins' it.
Suggested Rewrites
- greater punishment for parents harsher penalties for parents
- reform proposal
- child children
- social problems still manifest from a young age social problems can still emerge at a young age
- simple genetics genetic factors
- trauma the primary caregivers are unaware of trauma of which their primary caregivers are unaware
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is fluent, logically organised, and supported by a sustained argument about parental responsibility, with sophisticated vocabulary and largely controlled complex sentences. Its central weakness is incomplete coverage of the first stated view: it explains why some parents are innocent but does not directly examine why offending children should themselves be punished. Developing that missing perspective explicitly would make the discussion fully responsive to the task.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position on parental responsibility is clear and well developed, but the case for punishing children is addressed only indirectly.
Devote a distinct part of the discussion to reasons for holding young offenders personally accountable before weighing that view against parental culpability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression, focused paragraphs, and well-managed links between qualifications, examples, and conclusions.
Signal the first opposing view more explicitly so the organisational structure maps directly onto the two positions in the question.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and often precise, although a few combinations such as "begins antisocial behaviour" are awkward and some claims are overstated.
Use more measured wording for generalisations and check verb-noun collocations when presenting psychological or legal claims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, despite occasional punctuation and reference issues in longer sentences.
Add needed clause punctuation and check pronoun references so that every complex sentence remains immediately unambiguous.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.