Some people argue that parents of children who break the law should be punished in some way, because they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is argued that parents should be responsible or even punished for crimes committed by their children. While juvenile delinquency may be due to parents’ failure in raising their children, I believe that teenage lawbreakers should take all accountability for their offenses.
More often than not, children’s anti-social behaviors could be traced back to a dysfunctional family with abusive parents, divorced parents or parents who put too much academic pressure on their children. These generally share one feature in common which is a lack of care toward children’s emotions. Due to this unhappy childhood, children become more vulnerable to cognitive distortion; they tend to think more negatively, feel worthless, and consider social offenses a way to prove their worth to the world. Indeed, statistics agree that many juvenile offenders have experienced emotional crises due to their broken families, which leads to their anti-social attitudes. As several roots of evils committed by children are from parents’ failure to raise their kids with love, parents should be partly accountable for their children’s illegal behaviors.
Nevertheless, I insist that the lawbreakers themselves, not their parents, should be punished to ensure a justice system based on fairness and criminal deterrence. Firstly, it is unjust for offenders to escape legal punishment and continue their normal lives despite harming society. Punishment is to let them understand the price for their actions, and could vary, depending on the seriousness of the behavior. Secondly, the threat of being punished would deter the risk of other teenages’ committing anti-social behaviors. This will make society a safer and more peaceful place.
In conclusion, although parents play a part in their children’s wrongdoings, they should not take major or all responsibility for that. It is suggested to punish juvenile lawbreakers as a way to ensure a just legal system and alleviate the risk of potential criminals.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb pattern Original: failure in raising their children Suggested revision: failure to raise their children Why it matters: Failure takes a to-infinitive when naming the unsuccessful action.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: take all accountability Suggested revision: take full responsibility Why it matters: Take full responsibility is the idiomatic expression for bearing complete blame.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: These generally share one feature in common which is Suggested revision: These situations share one common feature: Why it matters: The replacement supplies a clear noun referent and removes a redundant relative structure.
- 4. Match plural reference Original: Due to this unhappy childhood Suggested revision: Because of such unhappy childhoods Why it matters: The plural form agrees with the discussion of children from different families.
- 5. Use accurate reporting verb Original: agree Suggested revision: indicate Why it matters: Statistics can indicate a pattern but cannot literally agree.
- 6. Repair clause agreement Original: which leads to their anti-social attitudes Suggested revision: which can lead to antisocial attitudes Why it matters: The plural experiences require lead, and can avoids asserting an automatic result.
- 7. Correct the causal phrase Original: several roots of evils committed by children are from Suggested revision: several causes of offences committed by children stem from Why it matters: The replacement uses the correct collocations for causes and origins.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: deter the risk of Suggested revision: reduce the likelihood of Why it matters: A risk is reduced rather than deterred.
- 9. Fix noun form Original: teenages’ committing Suggested revision: teenagers committing Why it matters: Teenagers is the correct plural noun, and no possessive apostrophe is needed here.
- 10. Use a clear subject Original: It is suggested to punish Suggested revision: Juvenile lawbreakers should be punished Why it matters: The original passive reporting structure cannot take this infinitive construction naturally.
- 11. Express the outcome precisely Original: alleviate the risk of potential criminals Suggested revision: reduce the risk of future offending Why it matters: The revised phrase refers clearly to reducing criminal behaviour rather than reducing people.
- 12. Complete the passive form Original: responsible or even punished for crimes committed by their children Suggested revision: held responsible or even punished for crimes committed by their children Why it matters: Held is needed so responsible and punished form a parallel passive structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- failure in raising their children failure to raise their children
- take all accountability take full responsibility
- These generally share one feature in common which is These situations share one common feature:
- Due to this unhappy childhood Because of such unhappy childhoods
- agree indicate
- which leads to their anti-social attitudes which can lead to antisocial attitudes
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a coherent position and uses a clear two-part structure to explain parental influence and the case for punishing young offenders. Its main limitation is that the first body paragraph establishes parental responsibility without fully addressing whether parents themselves should be punished, creating some tension with the stated position. The priority is to answer the precise punishment question directly and support that stance with consistently aligned reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a generally clear stance and relevant reasoning, but it only indirectly addresses whether parents should actually be punished.
State the exact extent of disagreement and explain directly why parental contribution to delinquency does or does not justify punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is organised into clear stages and progresses coherently, though the shift from parental responsibility to offender punishment creates some tension.
Frame the first body paragraph explicitly as a concession and link it more directly to the rejection of parental punishment.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and often effective, but recurring imprecise collocations and word forms reduce lexical control.
Replace strained expressions such as statistics agreeing, deterring a risk, and potential criminals with precise legal and causal language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures with generally good control, despite several errors in reference, word forms, and impersonal constructions.
Review pronoun reference and constructions after suggest, deter, and possessive forms to remove the remaining grammatical awkwardness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that parents of children who break the law should be punished in some way, because they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.